


The Nightmare.

by dragonluvr



Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-04
Updated: 2012-05-04
Packaged: 2017-11-04 19:36:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 55,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/397436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonluvr/pseuds/dragonluvr





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 

The Nightmare.

McGee didn't understand why Gibbs said what he said. All he knew is how much it hurt. McGee couldn't get away fast enough or far enough. It seemed like no matter how far he drove he couldn't run away from Gibbs words. They were all the young agent could think about. He wasn't paying attention to the road, as lost in his thoughts as he was. The rain beat out a steady rhythm on the windshield, accompanied by the slapping of the wipers. Startled out of his thoughts by the sound of a horn and the bright lights in his eyes McGee pulled the steering wheel hard to the right and found himself against a tree. He wasn't hurt but the car was totaled.   
Getting out and he began to walk down the empty road. He didn't know how long he walked before a pickup truck came by and stopped.   
“ Are you alright?” The stranger asked.  
“Yea I'm fine but I think my car is totaled. Can you take me to a motel so I can get a room and call the auto club?”   
“Sure but there ain't no motels around these parts. There is a diner just down the road a ways if you want a lift hop in and I will take you there?”  
“That would be great.” McGee said tiredly. 

McGee took the ride from the stranger never knowing that his nightmare was just about to begin. They drove for awhile making small talk, until they came upon the diner.  
The stranger pulled in and asked if McGee wanted a cup of coffee and told him he could make his call here.   
“A cup of coffee sounds great. But where am I going to be able to some place to sleep?”  
“ Well my place is just down the road its not very big but its comfortable. I only have one bed but the couch is free. Your welcome to stay the night with me.”  
“That sounds good just let me make my call and then we can leave.”

After a few minutes and completing his call McGee and the Stranger got back into his truck and left. No one the wiser about Tim's presence.   
After a few more minutes McGee began to get tired and his head felt fuzzy and strange. It was as if he couldn't think straight. He did his best to look up and when he did the world spun and his eyesight was funny. That was when he realized he had been drugged and that this was not good. 

 

“W...W...What's h..h...happening to me?” McGee stuttered.   
“Your going to be all right just relax and everything will be fine. Don't try to fight it.” The stranger said.  
That was when McGee blacked out. He didn't know how long he had been out or where he was. He lifted his head and tried to look around but all he could see was blackness all around him. Then it hit him he was blindfolded. He struggled to breath only to find he was gagged and bound. Some where he heard a door open and felt a breeze against his naked skin.   
“ Oh no this was not happening. Not this. Not again. Oh God please don't let this happen.” Tim cried silently to himself as the tears and emotions he had fought so hard to keep control of overwhelmed the young man. 

Hearing voices approach just made matter worse in McGee's mind.   
“ See boys I told you this one was special. Nice and smooth. Not to old and not to young. Look him over boys cause the fun is about to begin.” Tim recognized the stranger that had picked him up the night before at least he thought it was the night before. He wasn't sure how long he had been out. 

“Just think guys we can do what we want to him and no one will ever know.” another voice said.   
“Yea thats right all the way out here even if he screams no one will hear him. Good thinking Josh bring him all the way out here?” another voice spoke up.  
“Dammit Stan I told you not to use our names. We don't want him to know who is raping him. But I do have a surprise for you boys.” The only called Josh said.   
“ Whats that?” Several voices asked speaking as one.  
“ Well you all know how we always wish we could relive what we do to these guys over and over?” Josh asked.  
“Hell yea!” They all piped up.   
“ Well this time we will be able to. Because I am going to video tape it and then we are going to put it out on the net. What do you guys think of that? We get to rape this guy and then plaster it all over the net to humiliate him ever further.”   
“That's a great idea. We should have done it sooner. Hell this is going to be great.” said a voice McGee didn't recognize.   
“ But aren't you guys afraid we will get caught?” One shy sounding voice asked.  
“ Hell no. They put these rape things out on the net all the time no one is going to believe or even think its real. That's the beauty of it. Even if this guy reports it whose going to believe he wasn't in on it and it was just some sick fantasy.” Josh said laughing, which got the others laughing as well. 

TBC.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 

Gibbs sat at his desk along with DiNozzo and David going over the evidence again. He had sent McGee out hours ago for a dinner run. The case they were working was taking a toll on everyone. Especially McGee. Earlier in the day Gibbs had reamed the young man out for screwing up. Without thinking he had said some really harsh words to the young agent. They had all screwed up on this case but he had taken everything out on McGee. He was furious and the young man had taken the brunt of his anger and said nothing in his own defense. He just stood there eyes downcast as Gibbs used him as his whipping boy just like he did all the time. They all did. Gibbs was lost in his thoughts until Tony's stomach growling brought him back to reality.  
“Where is McGee. He should have been back by now?” Tony wondered aloud.   
“Your right Tony.” Ziva said glancing at the clock on the wall. “He should have been back hours ago.”   
“He'll be back when he gets back DiNozzo. He probably just needs some time to think and clear his head. Just get something from vending till he gets back.” Gibbs growled. There was something wrong and Gibbs had a bad feeling but the case was more important than the feelings of one agent even if that agent was McGee. Diving back into the case he lost himself in his own thoughts and the evidence.   
Tony and Ziva just looked at each other at Gibbs declaration. Thinking nothing of it they got up and went to the vending machines. Each lost in their own thoughts.  
Suddenly Ziva said “ Gibbs was pretty hard on McGee. I never heard him say things like that to him or to anyone before. Tony I don't feel good about this. I think there's something wrong. I can't put my finger on it but McGee has never disappeared like this before and it worries me. What do you think is going on between those two. I have never seen Gibbs act that way towards McGee and it wasn't just him that screwed up it was all of us. But he took everything out on McGee. That wasn't right.” 

“Your right Ziva I to have a bad feeling about this. Something about this situation worries me. Like you I can't put my finger on it. The Boss was kinda hard on the Probie.” Tony said taking out his cell phone and punching McGee's number. Tony listened as it went to voice mail. McGee never picking up. Trying it again he got the same response. Walking back to the bullpen Tony kept trying McGee's number getting the same result. Ziva tried it as well with no better results. Unbeknownst to them McGee had unwittingly left his phone,gun, and badge in the ruined car.   
Reaching Gibbs desk Ziva spoke up.   
“Gibbs we can't reach Tim. We think something might have happened to him.”  
Gibbs flipped open his phone and punched McGee's number knowing that they other two agents he might ignore their calls but he wouldn't dare ignore one from him.

 

Gibbs waited silently for McGee to answer and when he got his voice mail he just growled “ McGee when you get this you better call me back. Where the hell are you?”

“Get back to work you two. We have a child killer to catch and we don't have time for McGee's hurt feelings. I want this bastard and I don't care what we have to do to get him. Now get to work both of you and find me something to get this bastard on.” Gibbs yelled his anger showing. He know that McGee would never just up and run out on a case especially not one like this. The young agent felt as deeply about a child being hurt as Gibbs himself did. That's what was bothering him. He knew this wasn't like Tim but this case came above everything. Even McGee.   
Without Gibbs knowing it Tony and Ziva kept trying to get ahold of McGee without any luck. They continued to get his voice mail. The time passed slowly as the three agents continued to mull over the evidence. Finally Gibbs told them to pack it up and go home that he would see them in the morning. Tony grumbled he had a date tomorrow it being Saturday and all. He didn't relish the idea of spending his day at NCIS. Without a word him and Ziva picked up their things and headed for the elevator.  
“Night Boss. We'll see you in the morning.” Tony said.  
“ Night Gibbs. Aren't you going home?” Ziva asked  
“ I'll be right behind you. Now go before I change my mind.” Gibbs growled.  
He didn't want his two agents to see how worried he was about McGee or them to know that he had been calling him himself. Taking one last look at McGee's empty desk Gibbs picked up his things and headed to the elevator. Thinking to himself that he shouldn't have been so hard on the kid. It wasn't like they all hadn't screwed up on this case but he took it all out on McGee and he didn't deserve it. He knew that apologizing was a sign of weakness but he felt this time the kid really did deserve an apology. He couldn't get the look of hurt,pain, and horror on McGee's face out of his mind. He couldn't believe he had hurt the sensitive,kind,caring, young man like he did. When he looked into McGee's eyes there was something there that he didn't understand but he would talk to McGee about when he saw him in the morning.   
Gibbs left the parking lot thinking to himself that he would stop by McGee's place and make sure the young man was alright. Unbeknownst to him Tony and Ziva had the same idea.   
When Gibbs reached McGee's apartment he noticed that his car was missing. Without a thought he decided to check his apartment in case he had loaned his car to Sarah or had forgotten to mention that it was in the shop. Walking up the stairs he heard voices. Drawing his Sig he quietly approached McGee's door which was slightly ajar. Pushing it open he came face to face with Tony and Ziva.   
“What are you two doing here?” Gibbs asked his two agents.  
“ We were worried about Tim so we thought we would check on him but he doesn't appear to be here or have been here. Why are you here Gibbs?” Ziva asked.

 

“Well isn't it obvious. I'm worried about McGee as well. Something about this doesn't feel right. Its not like him to disappear. Let's wait till morning and see if he shows up. He maybe out with a friend or something.” Gibbs said his worry coloring his voice.   
“Now lets get out of here and lock Tim's apartment back up and I'll see you both e in the morning.” Gibbs said as he turned to leave.   
Tony and Ziva just looked at each other and without a word did what Gibbs had told them to do. Both hoping that the Boss was right and that McGee would show up in the morning with an explanation of what happened to him tonight. Both still had a bad feeling about it.   
“See you in the morning Tony.” Ziva said as they reached their cars.   
“Yea see you Ziva.”   
Gibbs drove home wondering what could have happened to McGee. He knew very little about the young agent just that he was quiet, reserve, and their was a lot of pain in the young man's eyes. He kept his private life private and yet he took all the shit that DiNozzo dished out with out a complaint. 

Reaching his home Gibbs headed straight for the basement and his bottle of bourbon. He didn't know how long he was down there working on the boat when exhaustion overcame him and he headed up to bed. His mind fogged by the booze he slipped his clothes off and slipped between the covers and was asleep almost instantly.  
His dreams recently were always the same. He was looking into bright green laughing eyes and suddenly kissing him. The kiss at first was soft and gently, as he returned it, it became more and more demanding. In the dreams he could almost feel that soft skin under his fingers as he caressed and explored the body under him. Gibbs clutched his pillow against him as the dream depend. His body could almost feel the arms of the younger man wrap themselves around him as he explored Gibbs body. Gibbs could feel their hard cocks as they moved against each other both leaking precum making them slippery. Gibbs moved from the eager mouth down the lean body to his chest where he explored and found the hard nubs of his nipples. Taking one into his mouth. He nibbled on it making it even harder than before. Sliding his tongue across it he elicited a moan from the younger man. Moving to the other nipple Gibbs repeated the actions he had just done. Moving on down the younger man's body Gibbs began to lick,bite, and nuzzle. He reached the younger man's private area and began to tease him with his mouth. He began to lick the younger mans balls, running his tongue over the sack and slipping them one by one into his mouth to suck on them. All the while his young lover was moaning and clawing the sheets.   
“Please Jethroe.Please take me. Suck my cock. Oh Please.” Gibbs grinned on hearing his lovers pleas. 

 

“Is that what you really want Timothy?” Gibbs said as he took the throbbing member into his warm hot mouth. Engulfing McGee's hard cock in just one fell swoop.   
Moaning McGee clawed at the bed sheets as he writhed under his lovers ministrations.   
“Oh God Jethroe that feels so good. Its been to long and I don't know if I can take much more of this.” Tim screamed as he felt Gibbs lubed finger slowly inserted into his hole.   
“Hold on Tim. Your not to cum yet. Just hold it a little longer. You taste so sweet and good Timothy.” Gibbs said sliding his fingers in and out of Tims most secret place.  
“I'll try but I don't know how much more of this I can take.” Tim moaned.  
Gibbs wasn't ready to let his young lover climax. There was more to come and before it was all said and done he know that he would finally have the prize he wanted so much. The prize of taking Tim and loving him. Making him, his and no one elses.   
“ Please Jethroe! Please take me!” Tim screamed. “ I want you inside of me. I want to feel you cum in me. To feel your hard cock in me. Please fuck me Jethroe.”   
That's all it took. Gibbs slowly removed his fingers and placed his cock head at the entrance to Tim's body. Slowly, agonizingly slow, he pushed into Tim. As the head pierced his body Tim gasped. Allowing Tim to get used to him. Gibbs rested and when he felt Tim was ready he pushed in another couple of inches. Tim moaned in pleasure and pain as Gibbs entered him. It was more than he could imagine. Never had he felt so full and yet Gibbs wasn't even in him completely.   
When Tim signaled that he was ready and his body was laxed,Gibbs pushed himself all the way into Tim's body, making the younger man scream in pain.   
Holding himself in, he leaned over and kissed his young lover. Brushing the tears from his eyes, he whispered into his ear, “ It's going to be all right Tim just relax. I won't hurt you. When your ready tell me.”   
“It hurts Jethroe. I didn't know it would hurt this much the first time.” Tim pleaded.  
“ The pain will ease as your body adjusts. Do you trust me Tim?” Gibbs whispered.  
“Yes I do.”   
“Then just relax.”Gibbs began to nuzzle Tim's neck and ear knowing that these were just some of Tim's erogenous zones. Hoping to make his young lover relax. As Gibbs worked on Tim's neck and ear his body relaxed and became more plaint. Gibbs feeling this began to kiss Tim as he slowly moved his hard member in and out of Tim's ass a little at a time. Tim's moans began to increase as Gibbs strokes became longer and stronger. It wasn't until Gibbs hit McGee's sweet spot that he ground his hips against Jethroe.   
“Fuck me Jethroe! Fuck me harder. Oh God this feels incredible” Tim screamed at the top of his lungs.

 

Gibbs felt Tim go over the edge as his cock began to spill its seed between the two men. McGee's ass contracting around and squeezing Gibbs raging cock sent him over the edge. He began spilling his cum into Tim's willing ass. Just as the first spurt hit Gibbs awoke drenched in sweat. Running his hands thru his hair, he sat there for a minute letting the dream leave his conscience. Dripping sweat he got out of bed and headed for the shower know that this dream had not only drenched him in sweat but also in his own cum. His shorts being sticky and the wet stain on the bedsheets told him the story. After he showered and changed the bedsheets he once again laid down and tried to sleep.   
Laying there he wondered to himself when he had fallen for the young agent. He knew it was wrong and against Rule12. Hell he didn't even know if McGee even thought of him that way. If he did then what he said to him today may have ruined it all. His eyes getting heavy he slowly drifted off to sleep.   
Gibbs awoke to the blaring of his alarm. Remembering the events of the night before, including the dream, he drug himself out of bed and downstairs to make coffee before he headed back upstairs to get ready for work.   
Something about this day told him they would break this case wide open and get that bastard that was killing kids. Getting a cup of coffee he headed back upstairs to get ready for work. After showering he dressed and headed into the office.   
His thoughts on the case as he drove into the naval yard. Taking the elevator up he noticed when the doors opened that McGee's stuff was there. Thinking that the young agent had beat him in to work he didn't give it a second thought. Sitting at his desk, with the cup of coffee he had picked up on the way in, he began to look through the evidence again. It wasn't until he heard the ding of the elevator that he looked up. Watching as Ziva and Tony stepped off.  
“Morning Boss.” Tony said setting his stuff down behind his desk and taking his gun and badge off putting them in his desk.   
“Morning Gibbs. Is McGee here already?” Ziva asked.  
“ Yea he beat me in this morning. This case must really be bothering him.” Gibbs said looking back down at the file in his hand.   
“Have you seen him Boss?” Tony quered.   
“ No I haven't. I think he is down in Abby's lab. Now will you two get to work and quiet worrying about McGee.” Gibbs said giving them both a hard stare.

They buried themselves in the case, until Tony exclaimed “ Boss I think I have something?”   
“What is it DiNozzo?”   
“ You remember that the little girl that got away said that the guy drove a red Datsun. Well that same color of car was spotted at several other crime scenes. We didn't notice it because it was parked about 2 blocks away. We never thought to check for it on the video.” 

“Bring the all the surveillance video up and lets see if we can spot that car on any of them.” Gibbs demanded as Tony put the video's up on the big screen.   
They all watched intently as scene after scene rolled by. Finally spotting the car on one of the scenes. Gibbs asked “ Can we blow up that license plate up so maybe we can find this son of a bitch.” Gibbs growled.   
“ Sure we can Gibbs” Abby said strolling in.  
“Just give me a couple of minutes.”   
“Abbs where's McGee?” Gibbs asked.  
“Honestly Gibbs. I'm not that boys keeper. Besides I thought he was up here with you” Abby said as she brought up the license plate on the car they wanted.   
“If he was with us Abb's I wouldn't have asked. Now what have you got.” Gibbs said as he forgot about McGee and focused on the case.  
“Here's the license plate you wanted Gibbs.”   
“Tony run that plate and lets see who it belongs. Let's see if we can get this bastard before he hurts another kid.”   
“ Got it Boss.” DiNozzo yelled. “ The address is 2112 East Potomac street.”   
“Grab your gear and lets get moving. I want this bastard and I want him bad” Gibbs said as he grabbed his gear and ran for the elevator. Not stopping to see if the others were following.  
Tony and Ziva ran to catch up to their boss as he entered the elevator. They all wanted this sick psycho. Getting there just as the doors were closing.   
“Boss what about McGee? Shouldn't we wait for him?” Ziva asked.  
“There is no sense on waiting on McGee. We don't even know where he is.” Gibbs yelled. The anger at his youngest agent evident in his voice. “I don't have time for people who can't do their jobs. We have to stop this bastard before he hurts another kid. Now drop it. I don't want to hear anymore about McGee. Now get your heads in the game people.” 

They exited the elevator in the garage and ran to their car. It seemed strange to not have McGee stumbling after them. The drive was quiet even though Tony was there. It took less time than DiNozzo or David thought it would to reach the target home.   
Screeching the tires to a stop the three agents lept from the car and raced to the door of the house. Gibbs signaled David to take the back while him and Tony took the front.

“Federal Agents open up Mr. Washington.” Gibbs announced.   
There was no response, looking at DiNozzo, Gibbs nodded.   
“ Go for it DiNozzo.” Gibbs said as Tony reared back and kicked the door in. 

 

They slipped into the house making sure to clear the house room by room. Silently they proceeded thru the house making their way thru till they got to the stairs. Moving silently and quickly. They cleared the upstairs as Ziva came thru the kitchen. As she passed thru she noticed a door that was slightly ajar. She didn't think to wait for backup she just slipped inside and quietly made her way down the stairs. What she say turned her blood cold. There before her was the bastard cutting up another child. There was no saving the little girl she was already dead. 

“Federal Agent!” Ziva shouted as he turned to look at her she took the opportunity to shoot him dead center in the head. She didn't hear Gibbs and Tony come up behind her. Before she could say a word Gibbs relieved her of her weapon and Tony checked to make sure that the bastard was dead.   
“Ziva are you all right.” Gibbs quietly asked. Seeing the look on her face told Gibbs that no matter what the words were she said she would never be alright. He knew she had seen some horrors in her life but nothing compared to what she witnessed here.   
Without a word Ziva turned and slowly walked up the stairs. Saying nothing to her team mates she walked silently out the back door. Leaning over the railing on the deck she threw up. Nothing in her Massad training had ever prepared her for this.   
Giving her time Gibbs made the call to Ducky himself.  
“Ducky your needed. We have two for you this time.” Gibbs voice cracked as he tried to keep his emotions in check. “We couldn't save the victim this time.”   
“On my way Jethroe. Me and Palmer will be there as soon as we can get there.”  
Ducky explained hearing the emotion in his old friends voice.   
“David you need to excuse yourself from this case pending an investigation.” Gibbs growled. Calling the Director he filled Vance in on the situation and asked for another team to take over. As much as Gibbs hated it to admit it he had to relinquish the case to another team. Just as Gibbs finished his call Ducky and Palmer arrived. 

“Gibbs where are my patients?” Ducky asked.  
“ Downstairs Ducky and please wait till the other team gets here.” Gibbs said as his voice cracked.   
“Other team Jethroe? I thought you were handling this one Jethroe what happened?”   
“ Ziva shot the bastard Ducky.” Gibbs explained. “We can't be involved in the rest of this case. Had to turn it over to Stephenson. He's a good man. It's over for us now except the reports.”   
Turning he left Ducky standing there lost in his thoughts. Gibbs called for the rest of his team and left.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 

The men gathered around McGee. He didn't know how many there were or who they were he just knew he was in trouble. They didn't say anything and all McGee heard was the sound of zippers being undone and clothes being removed. McGee's fears were about to come true and there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't believe that it was happening to him again. After all these years this couldn't be happening again. McGee's captors didn't see the tears as they fell from his eyes. He knew that no matter what these guys weren't going to let him live. Just as this thought crossed his mind he felt hands on his naked body. He trembled in terror at their touch. Hands began to roam over McGee's body touching him every where. He screamed in terror as a hand brushed his limp cock and caressed his balls. His screams could not be heard because of the gag in his mouth.   
“I wonder if this young buck is still a virgin?” One of them asked as he grouped McGee's ass.   
His body trembling as the men continued to touch, grope, lick, bite,pinch and abuse his body. This couldn't be happening McGee kept chanting, as his hope of rescue died. How could his team not know he was missing. Was he that unimportant that they didn't even notice he was gone. Were they even looking for him. Did they even care. They were supposed to be his family,his friends, his protectors. Where were they. McGee cried to himself. He withdrew into himself as much as he could.   
The men didn't notice as they continued to use McGee's body. Their hand moved over McGee's body. McGee didn't notice the hands stroking his cock to hardness or the fingers slipping inside his body. McGee had retreated into his mind to avoid dealing with what was happening to him. Suddenly he screamed as his back and ass were set afire. McGee heard them laughing at him. His screams and tears falling silently.   
McGee felt his ass being prepared by rough hands one hand on each cheek opening him to the invasion of his body. He felt rough hands caressing his cheeks. Just as he was relaxing into the tenderness of the caresses his body jerked in shock and pain as one of the men ruthlessly shoved his hard cock into McGee's tender hole. Screaming in shock and pain his eyes filled with tears. There was no tenderness in his brutalization of his body. Suddenly Tim felt the sting of a whip cross his body. His heart racing as his body became tortured and wracked with pain.   
The man fucking him emptied himself into McGee without hesitation. As soon as he was finished he was replaced by another cock this one bigger than the last and more brutal in his fucking. Slapping McGee's ass as he thrust in and out of his body and the more McGee tried to resist the more the bastard liked it. Suddenly McGee felt a hot mouth engulf his own hard cock as another strap was laid across his chest. This time he felt blood as its warmth slipped down his wounded chest. 

 

As soon as one was done the next one took his place. They whipped him till he bleed and past out. He didn't know how many men had used him he lost count at ten.   
Tim was woke up by a bucket of water to his face. The gag was taken out and he was given food and water.   
“Why are you doing this to me?”McGee croaked. His throat sore and damage from all his screaming.   
“ It's nothing personal. You just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time boy.” The voice said. “Now hurry up and finish I have to get back on duty.”  
McGee ate and drank in silence never once mentioning the fact he was a Federal Agent. He was afraid if they knew then they would most definitely kill him.   
Once he was done the gag was replaced and he was left alone in his nightmare. Wondering when they would come back and use him some more. He didn't wait long. When suddenly he felt hands stroking his cock back to hardness. Suddenly he felt something cool and soothing on his member. McGee moaned at the gentleness of the touch. Suddenly he realized that it was lubricant. His cock was suddenly engulfed in a hot moist tunnel and he found himself buried inside another mans body. He was fucking someone instead of being fucked. The feeling was extraordinary as the man rocked his ass back and forth fucking himself with McGee's turgid flesh. He didn't last long as his orgasm came rumbling up thru his balls and out his cock only to be deposited into that warm welcoming tunnel. To his surprise the man he just fucked turned and kissed him softly. Nuzziling his ear the man whispered “Thank you. I needed that. For what it's worth I am so sorry for what they are doing to you. I would help you but if they find out I'm gay they will rape and kill me. Is there anyone that I can try and contact for you? They won't kill you and they have almost sated themselves. They will probably let you go in a day or two. That's what they normally do. They will drug you and leave you naked in a field some where. Just give me a name and a way to contact them and I will make sure someone will pick you up. Hurry and tell me.” The stranger said.

“ Why should I trust you?” McGee croaked when his gag was removed.  
“You have no reason to trust me but if you don't then your going to be found by someone you don't know and then what they have done to you won't be contained. It will be all over the news and I don't think you want that.”  
“They are making a video of what they are doing to me and going to put it on the net for everyone to see. My family, my friends, my coworkers, for the whole world to see. Everyone I know, love and ever cared about will see my rape and humiliation. Killing me would be merciful to me.” McGee croaked.   
“If I let you see my face will you believe me and trust me to get you some help?”   
“How do you know I won't just turn you in?” 

 

“I don't but I am trusting you with my life,that you won't. But if you want me to help you we have to hurry before one of them comes back to use you again.”   
“I don't trust you but I have no choice. So I will tell you what you want to know. When you can I need you to get ahold of Special Agent Gibbs at NCIS and tell him and no one else where I can be found.”  
“ You're a Federal Agent?” He exclaimed. “Oh my God what the hell have they done! What the hell have I done! I've had sex with a federal agent. They raped a federal agent. ….You can't let them know or they will kill you! I will keep your secret. But now I have to go before anyone comes back and I have to put the gag back in.” He said as he put the gag back in and left. Before replacing the gag the young man lifted the blindfold and let McGee see his face, he kissed him lightly and then replace both the gag and blindfold. 

As the young man left McGee whispered “Thank you”. Even if he could only whisper it in his own mind. McGee didn't know how long after that the abuse,torture, and rape of his body continued. McGee once again crawled inside himself to hide from what was being done to his body. How long and it continued he had no idea. His body hurt from the abuse and torture. He could feel the blood dripping from his open wounds. His throat raw from his screams. His back,ass,chest,legs,and even his cock hurt from the constant whipping and torture. His ribs ached every time he tried to breath. He didn't know if they were just bruised, cracked, or one of them was broken. He passed out from the pain. When he awoke he was naked and in a field some where with medical personnel tending to his wounds. Looking around as best he could he didn't see Gibbs or any of his team.   
“I guess they really don't care about me. I guess no one really does. I guess that I really wasn't important or part of the team. ” McGee croaked just before he passed back out from the pain.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 

Gibbs walked into the bullpen and first thing he saw was McGee's backpack at his desk and his computer on. Sitting at his desk he buried himself in the reports of the case and trying to finish up the loose ends so Stephenson's team could do the rest of the work. Just as Tony and Ziva exited the elevator Gibbs phone rang.   
“Gibbs”  
“Is this Special Agent Gibbs of NCIS?” the mysterious caller asked.  
“ Yes it is. What can I help you with?”  
“ If you want to find your agent come alone to the field off of I-75 near the junction of Hwy 112. Gibbs please come alone for his sake.” the caller said as he hung up.  
Without a word to his agents, Gibbs grabbed his jacket, badge, and gun and running towards the stairs. Hitting the door without stopping Gibbs raced down the stairs and to his car. Driving like a madman Gibbs reached the field just as the ambulance left the scene. He stopped and ran to the officer that was standing next to his car.   
“Special Agent Gibbs. I was told one of my team was here. Was that him in the ambulance” Gibbs glared at the officer at the scene.  
“Did you say Special Agent?” The officer asked paling a little as he took in Gibbs glare.  
“Yes! I did. Now tell me where they are taking him?” Gibbs yelled.  
“ The local hospital about ten minutes away.”   
“What happened to him?” Gibbs queried.  
“From what we could determine Agent Gibbs he was raped,tortured, and beaten.”  
the officer said. A slight smirk touching his lips.   
Gibbs had been watching the young officer all the while they were speaking. He noticed the slight smirk and the contempt in his voice. He didn't like this man for some reason he had the gut feeling that this guy was involved somehow with what happened to McGee. Gibbs anger at what was done to McGee was rising and this guys attitude was not helping. This should never have happened to McGee. He didn't deserve this, no one deserved this. Especially not McGee he was to kind hearted for something like this to happen.  
“Any man that would get himself raped isn't a man in my book. Hell he must be some kinda fag. Didn't know that fags could be government agents...Hell I bet he even enjoyed it.” Laughing he didn't see Gibbs expression slightly change as instead of anger filling him rage took over. Without warning Gibbs decked the bastard.   
“That man is one hell of an agent and he deserves your respect not your contempt. If I ever hear you or anyone else say something like that again about my agent I won't hesitate to kill you. Do you understand me.” Gibbs yelled.

 

“What the hell!” The officer yelled.” Why did you hit me? You can't do that. I'm going to file charges against you with you boss.”   
“ You do that and when I tell him what you said about one of the best agents we have you'll be lucky he doesn't lock you up.” Gibbs snarled as he got back into his car and headed towards the hospital. Lucky that Gibbs didn't see the expression of satisfaction on the cops face. If he had of he might just have killed him then and there.  
“Well well well. Isn't that a kick in the pants. We got to have ourselves some fun with a fed. Now that's payback for all their interference with us.” He thought to himself.   
“That kid had one hell of a nice ass. Glad I got to get a piece of his ass. Man was he good. I can't wait to tell the other that this guy was a fed. They will get a kick out it. Can't wait to get that vid out on the net.”  
Gibbs drove like a maniac to get to the hospital and to McGee. Without hesitation he flipped open his phone and dialed Ducky. Just as Ducky answered Gibbs pulled into the emergency room entrance. “Duck I need you to come to the Willard Hospital. McGee's been seriously hurt. No questions asked and tell no one where your going or who is involved.” Gibbs said leaving no room for question as he hung up on his old friend.   
“That was a strange call.”Ducky thought as he picked up his bag and hurried out. Leaving Palmer astonished and full of questions. Ducky drove as quick as he could to the hospital.

Gibbs rushed in “Where is the young man they just brought in?” yelling at the startled nurse at the desk. Not waiting for an answer he just followed where she was pointing. Gibbs raced down the hall bursting thru the door to the room where McGee was being examined. The doctors and the nurses turned to look at the older man as he burst thru the door.   
“Sir you can't be in here.” The good looking young doctor said.  
“I'm his boss Special Agent Gibbs.”   
“I don't give a dam who you are your not allowed in here. Until we are finished. When were done then I might allow you to see this young man but until then leave. If you don't I won't hesitate to call security and have you removed.” The young doctor just glared right back at Gibbs his look telling Gibbs that he wasn't going to be detered.   
Just as Gibbs started to say something he felt a hand on his shoulder. “ Jethroe let's let the doctor and the nurses do their job.” Ducky said gently.   
As the doctor turned to go back to tend to McGee,Gibbs saw the young man curled up on the bed. Gasping “ My God what the hell happened to you McGee.” Gibbs asked softly. Gibbs glance over the doctors shoulder he saw McGee's bruised and battered body laying there. 

 

Gibbs soft gasp and words reached Ducky's ears. Looking past both he saw the shape the young agent was in.   
Taking Gibbs shoulder he steered his old friend friend out into the hallway and down to the visitors area.   
“Ducky did you see McGee? My God what happened to him. Who could have done this to him?” Gibbs asked.  
“ Yes I saw him but I don't know the rest of the answers to your questions. Let me talk to the doctors. I will be back as soon as I know something Jethroe.”  
Turning he left Gibbs sitting in the waiting room. Walking into McGee's room he was addressed by Stephenson.  
“I told you that your not allowed in here.” the doctor growled.   
“Dr.Stephenson, my name is Dr. Mallard. I am this young man's medical proxie as well as his friend and physician and I demand to know what his injuries and condition are?” Ducky glared at the young doctor.  
“Well excuse me Dr. Mallard but this young man has been seriously injured as well as being beaten, tortured and he also appears to have been raped multiple times. We have done a rape kit on him but who ever did this left no evidence behind. They cleaned him inside as well as out. He has two broken ribs, a punctured lung, severe lacerations all over his body, he is servirely beaten and bruised. His left hand was broken but can be repaired. But its his mind and spirit that has taken the worst beating and abused. We have him under heavy sedation and its going to take a lot of work on his part to even get thru this. For now we need to keep him isolated and let his injuries heal.” Stephenson told Ducky.   
“Thank you Doctor. I will let Agent Gibbs know. I know you will take good care of him. I do want to be appraised of his condition and kept informed. I will also be participating in his care as well.” Ducky's voice left no room for argument.   
Ducky left the room and returned to the waiting room to let Gibbs know what the doctor had told him. Walking down the hall he wondered how and how much to tell Jethroe. He knew the man cared a great deal about his team members yet he also knew that McGee being the youngest member was special to Jethroe. He just wasn't certain how special McGee had become or if his friend had acknowledged how special he was to Gibbs. They both were very private people. He know how much Timothy cared about Jethroe. He had watched the two men dance around each other in a dizzying waltz. They both cared a great deal about each other and yet neither man would admit it to himself or the other. He knew that the news he was about to give his friend would send him over the edge. For all his faults Jethroe blamed himself when something happened to someone he cares about especially his team. They are his family. This was going to devastate him. Steeling himself Ducky entered the waiting room. As ready as he could be to face Gibbs anger not only at himself but at the people that did this to Timothy.

 

“How is he Ducky? Is he going to be alright? He looks like someone beat the hell out of him? Who could have done this? Why would they do this to McGee? Was it revenge? Tell me why my youngest, brightest agent is laying in there looking like someones punching bag?” Gibbs demanded the anger and hurt coming thru his voice as he yelled at his oldest and dearest friend.

“Jethroe!” Ducky commanded his voice brokering no arguments. “Sit down and calm down and I will tell you what the doctors know. But first Jethroe look at me!” Ducky demanded. “ I don't want you going off half cocked right now. Timothy needs you more than ever and what I am going to tell you isn't easy!” Ducky said doing his best to control his voice.   
“Just tell me Duck.”  
“ First Jethroe he has two cracked ribs, numerous cuts and abrasions, his left hand was broken. He has multiple bruises covering his body. His throat was damaged and but he didn't suffer any permanent damage. He does have a punchered lung.”   
“Oh my.....” Ducky how did this happen was he in an accident he asked before Ducky could continue.   
“No Jethroe this was no accident. Everything that was done to that young man was done on purpose. Whoever did this was a sadistic animal.” Ducky stopped as he looked into Gibbs eyes and saw the man had murder in his eyes. Ducky hesitated until Gibbs said “ What is the rest of it Duck?” The look he gave his old friend told him that he already knew the worst. But that he had to hear Ducky say it. The glare he gave Ducky told him not to try and dodge the question.  
“Jethroe I am not sure how to say this but...”  
“Just say it Ducky” Gibbs yelled. “ That animal raped my agent didn't he?”  
At a loss for words. He just nodded. Looking into Gibbs eyes he knew that his friend was blaming himself for what happened to Timothy. He had no words of comfort for him this time. He had heard what Gibbs had said to the young agent just before he went missing. Try as he might he couldn't help but blame Gibbs for this. He couldn't help but feel a little responsibility at what happened. He didn't stand up for McGee when he had the chance. He didn't tell Jethroe to back off that what happened wasn't McGee's fault.   
“This is all my fault Ducky.” Gibbs croaked. “If I had just listened to my gut and went after him none of this would have happened. If I hadn't been so hard on him. If I hadn't said those things to him. How am I ever going to make this up to him, make it right. He's never going to forgive me. I didn't even try to find him when we all knew he wasn't home. I should have done more. He shouldn't be laying in there. This is all my fault. What am I going to do now?”  
“Well for starters you can stop blaming yourself and tell that young man exactly how you feel about him. Stop dancing around the subject Jethroe and tell him how you feel. Then be there for him thru this. Let him know it wasn't his fault. Don't let him blame himself for what happened. None of this was his fault or yours. I do suggest you contact Director Vance and let him know what happened but under no circumstances do not let anyone on the team know what has happened. Especially Tony and Abby. They will only make him feel worse.”

“ How am I going to look him in the eyes now. He's going to think I(we) abandoned him. Even if I tell him will he even want me after this. After all he has gone thru?” Gibbs voice cracked as he tried to control his emotions that threatened to break thru his walls.   
“You will never know unless you tell him now will you? You have to give him time but you must be there for him now. It will mean a lot to him for you to be there when he wakes up. They have him heavily sedated. Jethroe how did you know he was here?”   
“ I got an anonymous call that told me where to find him but the LEO's had already gotten there before I did. Why do you ask Ducky?” Gibbs queried.  
“Well either someone knew who Timothy was or he told them to call you and maybe we can use that to trace the call back to the source and find who did this to Timothy. If we can that means someone helped him and kept his identity hidden and they know who did this.”   
“Ducky I should have thought of that myself. I was just worried and relieved that I didn't think about it. But in order to do the trace I'm going to have to ask Abby to do it. If you don't want her involved I can't ask her to do it without her picking up on the fact that McGee might be involved. But if I ask Fornell to do it he wouldn't use Abby and he could help us catch this bastard without the whole team knowing and Fornell likes McGee and would help.” Gibbs said the last to himself not realizing that he had spoken outloud until he looked at Ducky's smiling face.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

McGee awoke with a start almost pulling the IV's out. Screaming out in pain as the pain rushed into his newly awakened nerves and battered body.   
Suddenly the door opened and the nurses and a kind looking doctor where there doing their best to calm him down. It wasn't until he heard a familiar voice that Tim calmed down and realized he was safe at last.   
“ It's ok Tim your safe. Your alright let the doctor and the nurses help you.” Gibbs said softly in Tim's ear calming the young man instantly. His frightened eyes searched for Gibbs immediately finding him on the side of the bed holding his hand.   
“B..B..Bo..Boss I'm sorry!” Tim said softly his throat hurting really bad, as a single tear fell from his eye. Gibbs heart ached to see the pain, sorrow, hurt, and disappointment in his young man's eyes.   
“Tim you have nothing to be sorry about. This wasn't your fault. If anyone is to blame its me. I should never have hurt you. I know that I told you that apologizing was a sign of weakness but its not when it comes to family. Your my family Tim. I will explain later but for now you need to rest and the doctor needs to examine you.” Gibbs let go of McGee's hand and turned to leave as the tears threatened to fall. It took all he had to keep from crying as his heart was torn asunder by what he saw in Tim's beautiful green eyes.   
“ Don't go please Gibb's. Please stay. I need you” Tim pleaded almost silently but the touch of his hand on Gibbs arm stopped the older man and he heard Tim's plea when he looked back into his eye.  
Without out a word Gibbs took McGee's hand in his and sat down next to the bed the doctor and nurses working around him and at last Tim drifted off into a deep sleep.  
“Special Agent Gibbs can I have a word with you in private?” Stephenson asked  
“ What ever you say to me you can say here I'm not leaving my agent is that clear doctor.” Gibbs glared at the young doctor who wasn't fazed at all by his look.  
“ Fine Agent Gibbs. I just thought you would want to know that this wasn't the work of one person. There was at least 6 people involved in this.”   
“ How do you know that Doctor?”   
“ Because your agent wasn't the first and unless these animals are stopped he won't be the last. I know of at least 6 other men that have been raped in the last couple of months. I don't know how long this has been going on but they are escalating and the next man they rape and brutalize may wind up in my morgue and I want to keep that from happening.”  
“What do the locals say about it?”  
“They either don't know or don't want to know. Maybe they are even in on it themselves. Because it keeps happening. You know the law. I have to report it to the authorities but in your agents case I don't have to report to the local authorities. You can take the case over. Or have another agency get involved. You asked how I know about the rapes. Its because I was one of the first victims I know about. I treated the other five men including your own now. I haven't been here but about six months when one night it was storming out and I was on my way home when my tire when flat out in the middle of nowhere and I was picked up by a stranger. Being new to town everyone was a stranger. He was going to take me home but we stopped for coffee and a bite to eat. That must have been when he drugged me. Because after that I don't remember anything. Next thing I know I woke up hung up in a dark room. I was blindfolded and gagged. I was naked and thats when the rape and beating started. I don't know how long I was raped and brutalized but when it was finally over I woke up naked and in a field. No one here knows about it. I never reported it. I was to humiliated to. I was afraid if I did they would find out and come back and finish the job. When the next man was brought in. I knew instantly what had happened to him. His beating was worse than mine. I don't know how many men raped me or the others but I know how your agent is feeling. I just wanted you to know that I am here if you or him need to talk. I still have all the rape kits that I did on the other victims including my own. If you need then to help your investigation just ask.” Stephenson said quietly as his own tears stained his face. The pain and horror of what happened hitting the young man hard.   
Gibbs felt for this young handsome man to have been brutalized like that and to go thru it over and over as more victims came to be known. Suddenly Gibbs stood and wrapped his arms around the young doctor as he comforted him. Gibbs didn't know how long they stayed there locked in that embrace but when they parted he looked down into Tim's green eyes and saw the tears staining his pale skin.   
“It's ok Tim. I'm not going anywhere.” Gibbs said taking McGee's hand not realizing he had let go of it when he was comforting the Doctor.   
“It's ok Boss. I heard what you said doctor. I know how much admitting to what was done to you hurt. Seeing me here like this brings back memories doesn't it?” McGee said letting the compassion he felt for the Doctor be heard in his voice.   
Surprising both men Stephenson bent down and kissed Tim's bruised lips and upon releasing the kiss he turned and kissed Gibbs. Both kisses held in them a little passion. Turning and rushing from the room,Stephenson didn't see the look of surprise and shock between the two men.   
“That was a surprise.” Gibbs said.  
“ Yes but it was nice. I've never been kissed like that before.”   
Just as the words left Tim's mouth he found Gibbs looking at him with a look on his face and in his eyes that he had never seen before. He didn't understand what he saw there maybe it was his imagination or the medication making him see things. It was there and a second later it was gone. Tim was still baffled by Gibbs expression as he fell back into much needed and deep sleep.   
When he was sure that McGee was deep in sleep, Gibbs got up and silently left the room. Moving to a more private space, since his office wasn't available, the stairwell closest to McGee's room so he could watch the door and still remain invisible. 

 

When Gibbs was satisfied he pulled out his phone dialed Fornell's number and told him the situation.   
“My God Gibbs, that boy of yours is a tough one. I will have an agent I trust come get the kit and evidence and make sure only a tech I trust will handle everything. That kid has been in some bad situations but this has got to be the worst. I'll make sure that no one knows whose case this is. McGee doesn't need people knowing what happened to him.” Fornell told Gibbs anger coloring the man's voice.   
“Thanks Fornell. I know McGee will appreciate it and so do I. I owe you one. I need one more thing from you.”  
“Ask Gibbs whatever you need. Anything for that young man.”   
“ I need three undercover feds here at all times. One posing as a nurse, one inside McGee's room at all times and one outside the door. They are to let no one except the doctor and the nurses in that room. I will be here and Ducky will be checking up on him till we can get him moved to Bethesda. I don't want to take a chance that those animals will come after him when they find out that he is a federal agent. Also any changes to his meds are to be cleared with Ducky before they are given to him. Also I will have a list of the nurses and the doctor with photo's in case they try to get to him that way. “ Gibbs said letting his anger color his voice.   
“Not a problem Jethroe I have the perfect people. They all owe McGee and your team. I'll brief them and have them at the hospital within the hour.”   
Gibbs gave Fornell the address and name of the hospital, then returned to McGee's room. Checking on his agent, Gibbs dialed the last person he would inform. Of McGee's condition.   
“Director Vance?”  
“This is Vance. Gibbs is that you?”  
“Yes Leon its me. I need you to listen and don't stop me till I am done. This is very important. Do you understand Leon.” Gibbs growled.  
“Yes I understand what is this all about?” Vance asked anger coloring his voice at being spoken to like this and being told what to do.   
“First is this a secure line?”  
“Yes but I don't see what that has to do with anything.”   
“ You know McGee has been out of touch the last couple of days. Well we all thought he was there somewhere. It wasn't until this morning that I found out what happened to him. I got a call from someone telling me if I wanted to find one of my agents to go to I-75 and the junction of Hwy112. I did and just as I got there an ambulance was pulling out. I stopped and talked to an officer there Joshua Wilson and asked him what had happened he told me they found a man out in this field naked and beaten he was taken to the local hospital. Then he made some crack about how he didn't know fags could be federal agents. He said that any man that got raped wasn't a man at all. I clocked the bastard. 

 

I found out when I got to the hospital I found out McGee was in intensive care and that he indeed had been raped multiple times by a bunch of animals. They beat him tortured him and I don't know what else those bastards to one of my agents but I swear Leon I'm going to kill them. I need you to give both me and McGee some time off so he can recover. I don't want the rest of the team knowing what has happened to him. It would kill him if they knew. I also want him to talk to someone we can trust, that can help him through this. He already blames himself for letting this happen to him. I can't lose him Leon.” Gibbs almost pleaded. His heart full of anguish at what had happened.   
Leon heard the hurt and pain in Gibbs voice. It touched him in a way that most things never did. He knew that Gibbs was still dealing with this latest case of a child being hurt. Now dealing with what happened to McGee. He knew that Gibbs considered his team his surrogate family and someone hurting them especially McGee really hit him hard.   
“I know the perfect person to help McGee with his mental recovery of this. This young man had almost the same thing happen to him a couple of years ago. He is very trustworthy in this type of situation. He helps men both gay and straight or bi get through being raped. I'll give him a call as soon as we get done talking. Now what else do you need Jethroe?”  
Gibbs heard the anger in Vance's voice as he continued, “ I have already let Fornell know the situation him and his people will handle the investigation and they are on their way to guard McGee so there is someone with him at all times. Also they will be collecting the evidence. Also the young Doctor taking care of McGee has been through this same experience and so have some other men. He has collected evidence from them and himself. I am going to have Fornell's people take a look at it and see what they can come up with. We can't let them get away with this Leon.” Gibbs said.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Tim laid there after Gibbs had left his eyes closed just listening. He was able to hear most of the conversation with Director Vance and he wondered how long it would take for the rest of the team to know. He knew that he was in a way relieved but in another he was horrified to know that the people he trusted and cared about would know about his humiliation. What would they think of him. They would know how weak he was. Hell he couldn't even take care of himself. He let his emotions get the better of him and he wound up raped,tortured, beaten, and completely humiliated. His father was right. He was weak, no good, hell he even deserved this. If he couldn't protect himself then how was he supposed to protect others. In the middle of a big important case he had run away all because he couldn't handle the truth. Did they save that little girl or did the bastard get away once again? Did they find him or did they spend time trying to find him instead of that bastard that hurt kids. He couldn't live with himself if another child got hurt because of him. These thoughts haunted him even while he slept. He knew that if another child had died because of him he would resign NCIS no matter how much it meant to him. He couldn't take another failure in his life. He know that they would all blame him if that had happened. He knew he could never look Gibbs in the eyes again. Just the thought of how that man suffered when a child was lost hurt or killed made McGee realize he didn't belong there if he couldn't help them save another child. I always wanted to be part of something to do someone good with his life. Heaven knows he's screwed up his life enough. All his life he felt alone and worthless. Being part of NCIS he felt like he had a chance at being part of something bigger than himself and a computer. Now this. I know that after this I will never be part of the team again. As soon as I am well enough I am going to resign. Gibbs doesn't need someone useless on his team. I'm going to be nothing but a hindrance to the team. Gibbs wont even notice I'm gone none of them will. If it hadn't been for that kid at the place they were holding me Gibbs wouldn't even know where I was or if I was alive. Not that he really cares. Not that any of them really care. Why should they, I'm clumsy, worthless, practically useless to them. I ran out on them when they needed me most. Why would they want me back. I don't even know why Gibbs chose me for his team. He could have picked anyone so why me?   
McGee was so lost in his own thoughts he didn't notice Gibbs watching his face and seeing what he was thinking. What he saw on Tim's face broke his heart. He knew McGee was beating himself up over what happened he just didn't realize how bad it was going to be. Gibbs realized that it was going to take a lot of work to help Tim get over this and to feel a part of the team again. He just wasn't sure how he would convince his youngest agent that he was worth something and wasn't useless or worthless to the team.

 

 

Gibbs watched silently as the tears fell from McGee's eyes. He knew how much he was hurting and yet was helpless to do anything to comfort him. Instead he just squeezed his hand. McGee hadn't realized Gibbs was there at his side until he felt him squeeze his hand. Turning his eyes to him “I'm sorry Boss I didn't mean to run out on you and the team. Did you get the guy before he hurt another child?” he croaked.  
Even before Gibbs could answer Tim saw it in his eyes. “I'm sorry Boss I screwed up bad this time. I know it. I don't even know why your bothering with me. That kid died because of me.” Tim whispered as the tears he had tried to hold back fell even harder. He couldn't even look at Gibbs now. Turning his head he didn't see the look of horror on Gibbs face at McGee's statement. Gibbs new he had to do something and quick before he lost Tim all together. He was going to a dark place and Gibbs didn't know if he would be able to bring him back or keep him from going there. He desperately needed to talk to Ducky without Tim knowing what they were talking about. It would only hurt the young man more. He didn't know what to say to comfort McGee. The words failed Gibbs as he sat and listened to McGee's soft sobs.   
His body wracked with pain and his mind scarred from the abuse. All he could think about was the child's family and the fact that he may have caused the child's death. How can I face the family? What can I say to make amends? There is nothing I can do to bring the child back. My God what have I done...? Tim thought as he laid there slowly crying himself to sleep. His last thought was “ Why did I live and that child die?”   
Gibbs sat holding his hand seeing the anguish on his face. Not knowing what else to do he leaned down and gently kissed his forehead. “It's all right Tim. You didn't cause that child's death in fact if it wasn't for you we might not have found him and her. You did nothing wrong.” Gibbs watched as McGee slowly cried himself to sleep. He knew that Tim wasn't the kind of man that could just brush this off. Like so many people thought he could and did. Every time a case involving a child came up it just reminded him of what he lost. It hurt more and more and seeing Tim tear himself apart just made this one hurt all the more. 

McGee fell asleep leaving Gibbs alone with his thoughts when suddenly his phone rang.  
“Gibbs”  
“ It's me Jethroe, I have my people in place and the evidence is on it way to my guy at Quentico. I just thought I would give you a heads up. Is there anything else I can do for you?” Fornell asked.  
“There is one more thing you can do for me. I need to talk to Vance and Ducky and this is something I don't want to do here.”   
“ Whats the room number?”

 

Gibbs gave him the room number and it was only a couple of minutes before Fornell walked thru the door.   
“Thanks Fornell. I wanted someone with him in case he wakes up that he knows. The poor kid is tearing himself apart about this and the case we just closed the child killer. He seems to think he is responsible for the last child's death.”  
“I'll stay with him Gibbs.”  
“Thanks and if anything changes before I get back call me.”  
“ I will. That boy of yours is one hell of a fighter. He's a good man and a good agent. When they were looking to throw me under the bus, the kid really came threw for me. I appreciate all he's done.”

Gibbs left without another word. Silently closing the door, he walked to the elevator doing his best to keep his emotions in check. When the doors opened he stepped in and waited for them to shut. For just a couple of minutes he needed and wanted to be alone. For the first time since Shannon and Kelly's deaths he was uncertain of himself. He knew how he felt about Tim, but after all that had happened to him would he even want him to touch him let alone be intimate with him. Then there's Stephenson. What was going threw that young Doctors mind. Sure he was handsome and a successful Doctor but what interest did he have in his agent or himself for that matter. Did he know something that the two of them didn't know or hadn't realized yet?   
As his mind raced, he fought to control his anger and rage. He wanted nothing more than to hurt whoever did this to McGee. He also knew that when Tony and Ziva found out about this that there would be no stopping the Masad agent. She thought of McGee as a little brother and the world be dammed if someone hurt him. Tony felt the same but not as protective as Ziva. Then theirs Abby she would come apart when she found out. The longer he kept it from them the harder it would be when they found out and he knew they would find out somehow someway. For now he had to come up with a reason why McGee and himself would be out of action for awhile while Tim healed and started the recovery process. He knew that this was going to take a long time for Tim to feel safe again and not fear being touched even by the men in his life that really truly cared for him. Especially himself. He just hoped that it didn't destroy McGee.   
The dinging of the elevator announcing his arrival at his destination brought Gibbs out of his thoughts. So lost in his thoughts Gibbs didn't notice the two pairs of eyes watching him. They didn't notice each other. One pair belonged to Stephenson and the other to the officer from earlier. Stephenson stayed in the shadows watching Gibbs departure, just as he was about to turn and leave thats when the local deputy moved catching his eye. Staying hidden in the shadows Stephenson watched as the deputy moved into the light and into his car to leave. Watching the deputy leave Stephenson got a sudden chill up and down his spine. “Could the deputy have something to do with the rapes and what happened to the agent. I better let Gibbs know about this maybe it will help or he will tell me to mind my own business. Either way its suspicious. Stephenson thought, turning to go back in and check on his patient.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Something about this bothered Vance. He wasn't quiet sure but it seemed to be something about McGee's past. His background check was clean. Vance had gotten McGee's personnel file after the phone call from Gibbs. Something nagged at the Director so he was going threw McGee's personnel file. Every thing seemed in order till he came to a sudden stop. There it was. There was an incident when McGee was fifteen, there was a police report filed, charges brought, then dropped. Everything was sealed because McGee was a minor. It all happened around the time when McGee was in the accident that broke his leg. Vance picked up the telephone and had his secretary get the officer in charge of the case on the phone. He hoped the man was still there. After several minutes his phone rang and it was the officer in charge of McGee's case. He was still in the police department but now was a sergeant.   
“ This is Sergeant Davis, how can I help you Director Vance and NCIS?”   
“I just had a couple of questions for you about an old case that you handled. It involved a young man named Timothy McGee. He is one of my agents and he has been hurt and I found your name and a record of incident in his personnel file. I wanted to know if there was something in his past that made him doubt himself.”   
“ I don't know if I can help you but I will try. You said Timothy McGee?”  
“Yes Sergeant.”  
“ I seem to remember that case. The kid was only fifteen I think or there abouts. His dad was in the Navy or something. What is it Ican help you with?”  
“Can you give me some insight as to what the case was about and who dropped the charges? Were they against agent McGee?”  
“ Director those records were sealed but I can give you what I know. Don't know how much help I will be. Is he in some kind of trouble?”  
“No! No trouble at all. I would appreciate any help you can give me.”  
“ Well the boy 'McGee' came into the station one day and asked to talk to a detective. When he was asked what it was about he said he would only talk to a detective and no one else that it was personal. They called me and I went into talk to him. That's when he told me he had been raped by a couple of men. Back then most cops were of the assumption that a man couldn't be raped and that if a man said he was he was a queer and was trying to get back at someone. But I knew better. I could see that by the look in his eyes that something really traumatic had happened to this boy. I listened to his story and he told me in detail what was done to him. When I asked him if he had told his father he said he had but his dad had beat the living hell out of him, called him all kinds of names, told him how worthless he was and that he wasn't a man if couldn't even protect himself. He then told me that his father disowned him and threw him out of the house. 

 

 

My heart broke for the kid. He seemed really nice and descent. I asked him if I could see what they did to his body so I could see for myself the horror these men put him through. He told me he would show me but we had to go to the restroom and he wanted no one to walk in on us. I assured him no one would and lead him to the head. When we entered I locked the door and when I turned around He had his shirt off and he showed me the burns on his back, arms and chest, not to mention the welts that had been left by them and his dad. He told me that when he told his dad, the man had beat him severely using whatever was at hand including his fists. He said his dad made the rape seem almost gentle he then told me he had a couple of busted ribs. I asked if he wanted to go to the hospital and he told me that he couldn't because real men didn't need hospitals they should just live with the pain and go on. I could see the hurt and anguish in his eyes and my heart ached for him. He told me that if his dad found out he had talked to the cops he might as well dig his own grave. He made me promise that I wouldn't contact his dad or even let him know that what happened to him was being investigated. He said his dad would kill him if he found out. The poor kid was terrified of his father. I told him I wouldn't and would keep it as quiet as possible. He gave me the description of the men that raped him as best as he could remember and I took it from there.”  
“Why were the charges dropped?”  
“Well when we found the guys, and the kid identified them we filed the charges and then a couple of days later his dad comes storming in demanding we drop the charges. Yelling that these men did nothing wrong and that his son was a liar and that he had propositioned them. Saying that his son was a dirty,lousy, rotten queer that when he had found out about him having sex with men he lied to him and said he was raped. That men couldn't be raped and his son was nothing but a lieing piece of trash. He wouldn't have his name dragged through the mud just because his son wouldn't own up to the fact he was queer and that he had disowned him. Because it was his father and he was legal guardian we had to drop the charges. At that time the poor kid had no rights or protection. Now do you want to tell me what this all about?”  
“I needed to know detective because I just found out that special agent McGee was found in a field naked and covered in all kinds of bruises and that he had been raped again. I needed to be able to tell the councilor his full background so he could help him. Thank you very much for your help. I know you will keep this in the strictest of confidence.”  
“ I will Director and I sure hope that agent of yours gets better. He was a good kid and I know he is a fine agent.”  
“He is and thank you again detective.” Vance said as he hung up and Gibbs stormed into his office.

 

“Before you say anything Gibbs sit down and listen. Then we can decide where to go from there?” Leon said before Gibbs could utter a word. He knew how hard this had hit him but right now McGee needed him to have a full picture of what was going to happen and had happened to him in the past if the man was going to help his agent.   
Gibbs just took a seat and shut up, glaring at Vance.   
“ You need to know Jethroe that this isn't the first time this has happened to your boy. When he was 15 he was raped beaten and tortured. Not only by the men that raped him but what happened to him after that was even worse and it was his own father that did it to him. What he needs now is to know we aren't going to abandon him that he is safe from reprisal, and that he still has a place here at NCIS and more importantly on your team Gibbs.”   
“Is there a problem with McGee staying on your team Gibbs? If there is tell me now and I will get him transferred.” Vance asked seeing the seething anger on Gibbs face he was worried about what his answer was going to be.  
“Are you telling me Leon his own father beat him after he was raped the first time? How could he do that to his own son? What kind of man is he that would do that after what Tim had gone thru? I always wondered why McGee didn't talk about his family much. Just his sister. Now I know. Is that the reason he was thrown out of the house? McGee doesn't and didn't deserve this. He's a good man and a great agent. I don't know what we would do without him Leon. I....we can't lose him.” Gibbs said controlling his emotions as best as he could. His heart aching even more now he knew about McGee.   
“The next thing we have to do is build a cover for you and McGee. I know that you will want to be there for him while he recovers. I know how you feel. I will keep the rest of the team busy. I have a man I meant a few years ago that will be able to help with McGee's recovery. His psychological recovery. He is a male rape counselor and will keep every thing in strictest confidence. He is a rape survivor himself.” 

When Gibbs heard about the councilor he felt a glimmer of hope for McGee. He knew it was going to be a really tough road for him but he hoped that this guy would help where he himself couldn't. “What are we going to do about Tony and his insaitable need to know what is going on in others lives? Not to mention Abby. When McGee doesn't show up for work they are going to know something is wrong and I don't want them finding out about this. When and if Tim is ready then it's his call to tell them. I know that they are going to be mad and hurt but we will have to deal with that when it comes. Also instead of moving him to Bethesda when he is well enough to be moved I want him to stay with me. I don't want this to go beyond those of us that already know and Bethesda is to public. Someone might find out and start asking the wrong questions.”

 

“That sounds like a good idea. That way Dr. Mallard can check on him and you and if he needs something he can be there in a few minutes and no one the wiser. Who is watching McGee at the hospital now?”  
“Fornell has some men in place and a nurse. He really likes McGee. He kinda saved his ass when they were trying to frame him for murder. He feels like he owes McGee and me. He has someone going thru the evidence that he trusts. I left strict orders that no one but the doc.,the nurses and me and Ducky were allowed into his room no matter what and if something happens I am to be notified immediately.” Gibbs said sadly.   
“Gibbs you need to get some rest yourself your not going to do that young man any good if you wind up in the hospital. Let me take care of the rest of this and I will be getting Hodges out to see him as soon as its ok and I know that it will take time for McGee to trust him after all that young man has been through.”  
“ I need to get back Leon. I don't really want him waking up without me being there.” Gibbs said concern evident in his voice. “Oh and when you talk to Hodges let him know that there are two victims. The other one is the doctor that is taking care of McGee he was one of their victims. I think It would do him good to talk to Hodges and his name is Stephenson. When he gets there I will make the introductions. Stephenson already cares for McGee. He also know most of the other victims. We really need to get these bastards Leon.”  
“We will Gibbs you just take care of that young man.”   
As Gibbs walked out the door, Leon grinned to himself. The man didn't even know how much McGee meant to him. Yet he was willing to go the extra mile for him. Then there was the matter of him switching from calling McGee by his last name to Tim. When he talked about McGee, Gibbs eyes softened and there was something there that Vance hadn't seen in his eyes for a very long time. The hard case had a soft spot in his heart for a certain young agent. This was going to be very interesting to watch. He would most definitely be talking to Ducky about this situation. Now it was time to get to work and get things set up and going.   
Vance reached for his phone when it rang, it was Hodges.   
“Vance here what can I do for you Dr. Hodges?”  
“Leon I was calling to find out when I can see my new patient?”  
“Jeff it might be a couple of days, but we have had a development. There is more than one victim. Special Agent Gibbs thinks you need to talk to the other victim. He happens to be Agent McGee's doctor and his name is Stephenson. When can you get out to the hospital to talk to him?”  
“ I can go see him tomorrow if thats ok Leon.”  
“I will call Gibbs and let him know he will make the introductions.”   
“Great I look forward to talking to them both.”  
“Thanks Jeff this means a lot to me and the agency.”

“He must be one hell of a special agent for you to go through all this trouble Leon.”  
“You have no idea. But you will once you meet McGee he really is special to us all here at NCIS. Without him we wouldn't solve as many cases as we have. Not to mention I do believe that Gibbs has taken a fancy to the young man and if I am right he returns the affection but neither of them have admitted it to themselves. He is very special so take good care of him will you Jeff?”  
“You bet Leon and I will keep you updated. Bye for now and I look forward to meeting both these men, as well as this Doctor Stephenson.”  
“Thanks again Jeff and have a good day. I look forward to your progress reports.”  
Vance said as he hung up. One down now 4 to go. It was time to talk to the rest of the team.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

When Gibbs got back to the hospital he found Fornell's man on the door and Fornell waiting quietly inside.   
“ How did it go Jethroe?” Fornell asked.   
“ Better than I thought but worse than I expected. Lets talk outside and somewhere more private. There is something I need to tell you. Have your nurse stay and watch him. This is just between you, me the director and McGee. It can go no further.”  
“ You know me better than that Jethroe. I saw what they did to his body and thats only the begging I know that what they did to his mind and soul was worse.” Fornell said quietly as they left the room.   
Gibbs waited while Fornell get his girl to stay with Tim. Gibbs got lost in his thoughts as he waited for Fornell. He had caught the smirk on Vance's face as he closed the door and wondered what that was all about. He thought of the softness of Stephenson's kiss and the feel of his lips on his own, and wondered if Tim's would feel the same or better. He wondered how it would feel to hold him in his arms and comfort him when the nightmares took him. He knew they would. Would Tim want him now that this had happened? Did he think that he would think him less of a man because of it? Did Tim think that he wouldn't want him because of it? Would he hate him for even wanting him that way? I know that Tim's self confidence and esteem is low and this is going to make it worse. I know he is going to think that I won't want him and he doesn't deserve me, because he feels like he is damaged goods but that isn't true. I have to make him understand that I love him no matter what. Did I just say that? Just then Fornell shook his shoulder bringing him back to his sense's. 

 

“What did you want to tell me Jethroe?”   
“Let's go down here.” Gibbs said walking past the nurses station he spotted Stephenson. “Doctor will you come with us please. I have some information that might be helpful.”  
“Just a minute special agent Gibbs.”  
Gibbs and Fornell waited until the doctor was done and he joined them. “Is there someplace private we can go to talk Doc. What I need to tell you both I don't want others to hear.”  
“I have a small office just down the hall. Gentlemen if you would be so kind as to follow me.” Stephenson said as he lead them down the hall. Winking at Gibbs when he brushed passed the older man.  
They entered the small office and closed the door.   
“I want you both to know that there is more going on with McGee than just this incident. When he was 15 he was raped,beaten and then abused by his own father. The man beat him almost to death. Then when he filed charges against his attackers his father went down to the station and had the charges dropped telling them that no faggot was going to drag his good name through the mud when he was out asking for it. He was thrown out of his parents house, disowned and told how worthless, and useless he was and that he would never amount to anything. That what happened to him was his fault and that if he wasn't a queer this wouldn't have happened. His father also told him that real men would have fought and a real man doesn't get raped, unless he wants it and asks for it. This isn't the first time that this has happened to Tim. Vance has a male counselor on his way to talk to him and you as well doctor. I want you both to see him and talk to him. Vance assures me that this young man not only is competent but he himself is a rape survivor. I am not asking you to do this for yourself doctor but for McGee he is going to need someone he can truly trust with him in the beginning and I really think you could use the help. I know how much you already care for Tim, Paul and I think he would prefer you to be rather than me. Right now I am not sure I can keep my emotions in check. He would pick up on that rather quickly and he would blame himself for it. He would think my anger and rage would be directed towards him and think that I thought he was weak, and didn't want him on my team anymore. I just think it would be for the best. Unless he asks me to be there then I will be there to support him and you all the way. When you think he is ready Paul to see the councilor I will let Vance know.” Gibbs concluded. Without another word Gibbs left before either man could stop him.   
“Is he always like this agent Fornell?”  
“Actually he is worse now,but its only because he truly cares for that young man in there. Its been a long time since that man has cared for someone so much. Not even his ex-wives could touch him where McGee has. After his first wife and child were murdered he shut his heart to every one. That is until McGee came along.

 

I watched as the two of them fell in love and they didn't realize until now. In fact Gibbs just realized just before we came in here. Or at least that's when he finally admitted to himself that he loved McGee. That man is so full of hurt and pain, not to mention rage, that its a wonder a gentle soul like McGee could get through all that without even realizing it. He has Gibbs heart in his hands and doesn't even know it. Tim is a very special young man to us all but more so to Gibbs. When that young man is around most people wouldn't notice it but Gibbs changes if only for a second and if you look closely you can see the love in his eyes every so often when he looks at that young man. I have known him for 30yrs and ever since Shannon and Kelly I have never seen him like this. You take really good care of them Paul, cause if you don't and anything happens to either one of them the FBI will be crawling all over your ass.”   
“ I will take good care of them agent Fornell.” Paul smirked as Tobias turned to walk out the door.  
“Doc. Earlier what was that wink all about that you gave Gibbs on the way past him in the hall.”  
“Not much really. I had just kissed him and Timothy earlier. I was really flirting with him... I didn't think you noticed.”  
“Oh I noticed all right. I think he only has eyes for Tim though.”   
“I can see that. Its strange that a man like him who has never been with another man can love one so openly and yet not realize it himself. They are truly remarkable men. Now I have to get back to my patient and then my rounds. I will talk to you later agent Fornell.”  
“I look forward to it Paul.”  
They went their separate ways. Paul headed to McGee's room to check on him and to make sure Gibbs was alright. Fornell went to check on his people then leave. He wanted to check on how the evidence processing was going he wanted to be able to give Gibbs an update later. 

Paul walked quietly into the room and just stood in the shadows watching Gibbs talk to McGee. He couldn't hear what the man was saying but he knew it was one of two things. One he was apologizing which didn't seem to fit the man's character, or two he was encouraging him and letting him know how he felt about him. He was seeing a different side of the man. Soft and gentle, kind and loving. This hard as nails man was so loving with McGee. I envied McGee, for having such a loving caring man as Gibbs to fall in love with him. I wished I could find someone to love me the way Gibbs seems to love McGee. I haven't felt close to a man since the rape. I hadn't even been with a man but seeing these two men like this I know its time to try again and maybe this councilor will help me.   
He watched the two men for how long he didn't know. He was lost in his own thoughts and it wasn't until Gibbs shook his shoulder that he realized that he had been caught and brought out of his thoughts. Just looking into those pale blue eyes he could see how much Gibbs loved McGee. It was just so easy to see. Without thinking Paul pulled Gibbs into a hug and before he could stop himself he was sobbing against Gibbs shoulder. He felt the older man tighten his hold on him as he let the tears flow. What he had never told anyone was that when he was raped so was his lover and that his lover had committed suicide two weeks after the incident and he always blamed Paul for the rape. Seeing the look in Gibbs eyes brought back all that pain and heartache. I really love Sam. Even after everything he said and did to me after the rape. His pushing me away and not wanting me to touch him. Him blaming me for the whole mess. After all this time I thought I would be over this and his death but seeing the love Gibbs has for McGee just brought it all back. I pushed all to the back of my mind and now I have to deal with it all over again. I don't even remember holding onto Gibbs or just how long I did but I know it felt good to be there in his arms. Suddenly I realized what I was doing and with whom I was doing it with, I broke the embrace but not before Gibbs soft lips meant mine and moved from mine to my ear where he whispered, “It's going to be alright. No one will hurt you again like that.” Then I was looking into his eyes and seeing him smile. That was worth it. Just seeing him smile instead of the worried angry look he had before.   
“Are you alright now?” Gibbs asked his voice betraying his concern.  
“Yes I think so. I was just overcome by my emotions.” Paul said. Gibbs got the words but Paul's eyes betrayed what he was feeling. Gibbs didn't want to push the young doctor so he let it go.  
“ I will leave you two alone. Paul if you ever want to just talk let me know. I know that sometimes the pain can be overwhelming.” Gibbs said as he quietly left the room, leaving the Paul to do what he needed to do.  
The young doctor puzzled and intrigued Gibbs. Much like Tim did. He knew in his gut that Paul was hiding something he just didn't know what. Maybe he should have Abb's run a background check on him. Without thinking about it more he speed dialed Abby.   
“Hey Abbs it me. I need you to pull out the stops and run a background check for me. The name is Doctor Paul Stephenson. I need it ASAP.” Gibbs growled.  
“Sure Gibbs whats it for?”  
“No questions Abby just do it. I need that information like yesterday.”  
“Okay Boss I will get it to you as soon as I have it.” Abby said.  
Gibbs hung up just as Paul came out of McGee's room.   
“How is he Paul?”  
“He is going to be fine he just needs a lot of rest.”  
“When do you think we will be able to move him?”  
“ Just as soon as his ribs and lung heal maybe a week or two at the most. Why are you in such a hurry to get him out of here Gibbs?”

 

“We want to make sure these animals don't and can't get to him. If they find out he is a federal agent they might try to kill him. We can't take that chance.”  
“Do you really think they will? Don't they already know he is a federal agent? After all they took his clothes. I assumed his wallet and badge were with him.”  
“His badge and gun were in the car he wrecked and your right they may already know. I got a call this morning telling me where to find him. The only way that person would have known who and where to call was if Tim told them. Glad I got the guards posted when I did.” Gibbs sighed.   
“ He is healing faster than I thought he would. That's good. Where are you going to move him to Bethesda?” Paul asked.  
“No when we move him it will be to my home. Where I can watch over him and Dr. Mallard will check on him daily. Why do you ask?”  
“I thought if you didn't mind I would check on him and keep up to date on how he is doing.”  
“I think Tim would like that Paul. I would like to make sure your okay. Your a good man Paul and I know that you will find that someone special just like I have.”  
“I thought I had Gibbs. I wanted you to know that when I was raped so was my lover. We had been together since high school and we loved each other very much. After the rape he fell apart. He blamed me, and two weeks later I came home and found him in the bathtub with his wrists cut. He was my first true love and I still miss him to this day. I carry the guilt of that inside me day after day. They say we only get one chance at true love and he was mine. I couldn't handle it if I lost another man I loved and cared about. Besides who wants damaged goods and I am that if nothing else.” Paul admitted as a tear slid down his cheek.  
Gibbs grabbed him by the chin, looked him in the eyes, then proceeded to kiss him gently. “That's what Tim thinks. I won't tolerate it from him and I certainly am not going to tolerate it from you. Do you understand me?” Gibbs growled.   
“Yes Sir! Agent Gibbs.” Paul said with a smirk on his face.   
Gibbs leaned forward and kissed him gently again, wiping the smirk off his face. “Paul you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. I know the loneliness can kill you and the pain and hurt can overcome you, but you have to hold on. It's taken me years to let someone into my heart, and I never in a million years would have that that it would be another man let alone that sweet,kind,caring,man lying in that bed over there with a heart of gold that would never hurt another living soul unless he had to. When he has had to it almost destroyed him. He is the most loving person I know and when he loves its with all his heart and soul. I would give my life for that young man and he has taken bullets for me. I wouldn't hurt him for the world and yet I have and I did it without thinking. I have said some really mean hurtful things to him and he took them without complaining without saying a word. He kept all that pain buried inside him. Look at what it cost him. If anyone is not worth the other its me that's not worth his love. 

It almost cost me the man I love and I didn't even know it until now. Seems like I blinded myself to how I felt. Some people saw it before I realized it. I think you saw it as well. That's why you kissed us both isn't it? You saw the love we hid from ourselves. Your a very special man Paul and there is someone out there for you.”   
Paul grinned and his eyes lit up as he said, “ I kissed you both because I am highly attracted to you both. I just hope that I do find someone. Since Steve's death I have thrown myself into my work and now that I meant you two I realized I need more in my life.”   
The two men stood looking into each others eyes for a long time, until a soft moan escaped from Tim. Both looked to the bed to see McGee thrashing around. Gibbs reached him first and immediately took his hand and brushed the hair back on his forehead. Quieting McGee's moans. After checking McGee over Paul silently left leaving the two men alone and Gibbs holding McGee's hand talking softly to the sleeping young man.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Paul was walking to the nurses station when he heard his name mentioned.   
“Dr. Stephenson this gentleman would like to have a word with you.”  
“I'm Paul Stephenson. What can I do for you?”  
“Dr. Stephenson is there a private place we can talk.”   
Paul was momentarily lost in the emerald green eyes of the handsome stranger in front of him. Paul was lost in taking in the handsome man's features. His hair is jet black, he has a strong chin with a cleft, when he smiles he has beautiful dimples. Paul's eyes roved over his body he took in the strong chest, I noticed the hair reaching over the top of the t-shirt. The strong arms. “Paul, Paul. Is everything okay?”  
“Yes. I'm sorry I was momentarily lost in thought. Yes there is. I have an office just down the hall.” Paul said a smile momentarily touching his lips. He knew the handsome stranger couldn't have helped but notice that I had checked him out.  
Jeff followed the handsome young Dr. down the hall to the office, all the while checking his ass out. He had noticed that the Dr. had checked him out as well. I wonder if he liked what he saw I know I sure as hell like what I see. Both front and back.  
After Jeff entered the office Paul quickly checked his ass out as well.   
“Now sir what can I do for you?”  
“Well Dr. Stephenson my name is Jeff Hodges. I'm the rape councilor that Agent Gibbs told you would be coming by to talk to you and Agent McGee. I hope this isn't an inopportune time. I can come back if it is.”   
“No Jeff! Is it all right if I call you Jeff?” 

 

“Jeff is fine as long as I can call you Paul.”  
“ I would like that Jeff.”  
“No that that's settled. I will get down to business. Agent Gibbs told me about your being one of these animals victims. I wanted to know if you would like to talk about it. If it would make you more comfortable I will tell you about my experience first.”  
“I think I would like that Jeff. That is if it's not to painful.” 

“ It started late one night. I was out walking in the park and at the time I had never been with a man. I was not paying attention to what was going on. When suddenly I was grabbed from behind and drug into a van where I was blindfolded and knocked out. When I woke up I was hung up by my arms my legs were spread I was naked. I was blindfolded still and I heard men all around me. Then they began to touch me all over whispering to me what they were going to do to me. They told me they were going to rape me, fuck me as much as I they wanted to, they were going to use my body for what ever pleasures they wanted and I could scream all I wanted to because no one would ever hear me. They burned me, fucked me, beat and abused me, they pissed on me, they gagged me, they did things to me that I never knew the human body could survive and they didn't plan on me surviving. I cried screamed and the more I did the more they liked it. Before the first man entered me I begged them not to that I was a virgin. They said that they didn't care they wanted some man ass and some fucking cocksucker like me was going to give it to me. When I told them that I wasn't gay they laughed. Just as soon as I said that one of them shoved his cock inside me no lube no warning no nothing I screamed at the violation and they just laughed as the tears fell from my eyes. They used and abused me for a week. I lost my job, my home, my girlfriend because I couldn't stand to be touched, I have nightmares about it to this day, I lost everything because of these guys. When I was found and taken to the hospital they found semen from 50 men inside me. The cops came and took their reports. When the detective came he was very understanding and patient. They finally caught some of the guys but then when it came time for the trial the detective, his name was Dan Simmons, was there and supported me. As I relived that nightmare. We had spent two months working together on this and in the meantime we fell in love. He was the most gentle, caring, kind man I had ever known and when we made love the first time it was unbelievable. When it was over we moved in together and were lovers for five years until he was killed last March by a gunman holding a child hostage. I have never recovered or loved another human being like I did him. He showed me what it meant to be loved unconditionally. Now I just live day to day.” Jeff said as the tears fell from his eyes.   
Before Paul realized what he was doing he wrapped Jeff in his arms and pulled him against his chest. Jeff accepted the embrace and wrapped his arms around Paul. 

 

The two men held each other close both silently weeping for the men that they had lost. They had lost themselves in their own thoughts. Suddenly Jeff released the embrace and pulled back looking up into Paul's hazel eyes, he reached up and gently wiped the tears from his cheeks. Jeff knew that Paul was at that moment in time someone very special. Looking down in to Jeff's eyes Paul repeated the motion that Jeff had done. Then he leaned down and gently kissed Jeff's lips soft and gentle. That simple touch sent an electric shock through both men's bodies. Causing both their cock to stiffen noticeably. They reluctantly broke the kiss both looking into each others eyes and for the first time saw a spark of something that had not been there before.   
The held each other until Jeff finally asked, “ Well I told you mine do you want to tell me yours Paul?”  
“ I think I will. We had a fight me and Mason. We were driving down the highway when our tire blew. We pulled over and a bit later this truck came by and this really handsome man got out and asked us if he could help us. We told him our spare was flat and he asked if we wanted a ride to town he then told us that the garage was closed but there was a diner where we could get some coffee. We stopped and got coffee and the next thing we know we are bound and blindfolded and naked. We were raped, tortured, burned, beaten and threatened for how long I am still not sure. When we were released we couldn't even comfort the other, we couldn't stand to be touched even by each other. After we got out of the hospital Mason could do nothing but blame me. He tore into me every chance he could. His words hurt but him pushing me away was even worse. I loved him so much and I didn't understand why he was hurting me so much. He wouldn't even let me comfort him. Hug him, kiss him, we couldn't even make love, when I would touch him he would scream and curl up in a corner the horror more evident and it broke my heart. Then one day I came home to a quiet house and I found him naked in the bathtub with his wrists slit. He had killed himself because of me. If we hadn't fought we never would have been raped and he would still be in my life. I miss him so much Jeff. Every time I think about him my heart breaks even more than it already is. The tears fall like rain and the pain is more than I can bear. Sometimes at night when I am alone I can almost feel him in the bed next to me. I can smell his cologne, and feel his touch. I want him back and miss him so much at the same time. The guilt is overwhelming.” Paul confessed as his tears started again and Jeff took him in his arms. Holding on to Paul he wrapped his arms around him and stroked his back doing what he could to comfort him while taking comfort from him. When they both were ready they let go. They looked long and hard at each other trying to decide what the next move would be.   
Before they had a chance the door opened and Gibbs walked in. Dr. Stephenson was a little surprised to see him there.   
“Is there something wrong with Tim, agent Gibbs?”  
“No I was just going to let you know I was going to go home and get a shower and some food then I will be back in a couple of hours.”

 

“Thank you for letting me know Agent Gibbs.”   
Gibbs stood there looking at the two young men who didn't realize they were still holding each other. Gibbs raised an eyebrow. Suddenly they looked at each other and dropped their arms. Gibbs laughed at the look on their faces at being caught embracing.  
“It's not what you think Gibbs.” Paul started to explain.  
“ And just what is it that you think I am thinking about what I saw?” Gibbs smirked.   
“ Ah...Ah... its just that Jeff was a...a..?” Paul stammered.  
“What Paul is trying to say is that we were just telling each other about what happened to us. We were comforting each other.” Jeff said smiling.  
“Oh is that what you call it.” Gibbs smirked as he glanced at both their erections.   
They all busted out laughing when they realized he was looking at their erections.   
“ Well somebody got a little excited about that comforting?” Gibbs said laughing till tears streamed from his eyes.   
After all was said and done Gibbs left, the two men looking at each other. Jeff stands and pulls Paul to him softly kissing his lips. Breaking the gentle kiss he moves his lips to Pauls ear and whispers, “Thank you, Its been a long time since I thought of him and I needed that. I think we both lost good men. But I think we found someone else. Someone to love. We can never replace them and never want to but if your willing I would like to see you outside of our sessions.”  
“ I would like that Jeff.” 

Gibbs left and went home. When he came back there was another bed in the room right beside Tim's. So he could be near the young man. Be there when the nightmares began and could be there to comfort him.   
“I will definitely need to thank Paul for this.” Gibbs said as he laid down on the bed and before his head hit the pillow he was out. Before he slept he took Tim's hand in his and kissed his lips. “Good night my love. Sweet dreams.”  
Tim woke screaming, “ Please don't please. Don't do this to me again. Not again. Why me?” Gibbs was right there wrapping his arms around him, gently rubbing his back he whispered, “ Your alright Tim. Your in the hospital they can't hurt you anymore. Just relax. Its going to be alright. I'm here with you. Its me Jethroe. I love you Tim and I want you with me always.” Gibbs new this would be the first of many. He swore to himself then and there that he would be there for Tim no matter what. When he felt Tim was ready he knew he would tell him how he felt. Tim needed to know how he felt and that he wasn't going to go anywhere or abandon him. He needed Tim to know that he was worth something to someone and that he was valuable to the team. He needed him and Tim needed to be needed. 

 

He knew that Tim's self confidence was broken. All the hard work Tim had done to build his confidence had been shattered. It would take a lot of work by everyone. He knew that Tony would have to be careful when it came to picking on McGee. He knew Abby couldn't pry into this and neither could the rest of the team. All that would have to wait. He needed to concentrate on helping get Tim well and getting him out of here. Tim was the most important thing right now and he wanted him home so he could take care of him. Gibbs didn't realize how tired he was, he fell asleep holding Tim in his arms. It wasn't until the morning sunlight streamed thru the blinds that he realized it was morning and that he had slept good in a long time. He woke up to emerald green eyes full of love staring at him. Tim softly kissed him. The kiss as far as they were concerned lasted for an eternity. Both men had their eyes closed and didn't notice Paul come in.   
Touching Gibbs shoulder, startling the older man, didn't Gibbs realize that someone else was in the room with them.   
“Now that is a beautiful sight to see first thing in the morning.” Paul announced just as Jeff put his arms around him. It was clear to see that the two men had also spent the night together and from the looks of it it was just as good for them as well. They both smiled as they took in the sight of Gibbs holding Tim in his arms and the shared kiss between them. The same look was on their faces that was on Gibbs and McGee's.   
“LOL now who is robbing the cradle Gibbs's” Paul said smiling that the two men.  
“ I don't now what the hell your talking about?” Gibbs retorted.   
“Sure Gibbs just keep telling yourself that. How are you Timothy?” Paul asked. Laughing at the look on Gibbs face. The older man was blushing much like Tim was.   
Catching the humor in Paul's face he new that the doctor was kidding him. Then looking at Tim's blushing face he new the doctor had been right on the money. Gibbs stopped and thought about what Paul said. He loved Tim but he was literally robbing the cradle. Paul and Jeff caught the look that crossed Gibbs face. They new what he was thinking.   
“Gibbs can I speak to you outside please?” Jeff asked.  
“Yes”.  
Gibbs followed Jeff out closing the door as they walked out.   
“ Now what can I do for you Jeff?”  
“ Gibbs. We saw what you were thinking. Your not to old for Tim. He loves you and you love him. Do not sell him or yourself short. Your not to old for him and he loves you no matter what are you going to throw that away? Are you going to throw him away? Are you going to tell him that you can't be with him because of your age? Do you think he really cares about that? If you think that then you need to walk away because your only going to hurt him and destroy him. You can't do that to him. I know you Gibbs you won't and can't hurt him. You love him and you know it. If your age matters so much to him. Then ask him what he wants? If it means that much to you then walk away now and tell him why you are? DAMMIT GIBBS don't you dare hurt that beautiful man any more than he has already been hurt.” Jeff almost screamed at Gibbs, tears flowing down the young mans face.   
Gibbs heart broke at the truth of Jeff's words. He knew that doubting himself was doubting McGee. It would kill Tim to know that Gibbs doubted himself just because of his age. In return McGee would blame himself. Tearing himself apart thinking he wasn't good enough for him, that he wasn't a man anymore. He couldn't do that to Tim not after all the young man had been through. He loved him more than life itself. He knew in his heart of hearts that Jeff was right. Age after all was a number, not a matter of the heart.   
Gibbs lowered his head in shame, how could he think that Tim didn't want him just because of his age. He saw the love in his eyes how could he be so cold as to doubt him and his love for him. Gibbs shame colored his face and his eyes. Jeff knew that he had gotten through to the older man. Gibbs needed to make his own decision.   
Jeff walked down the hall leaving him alone with his thoughts. Knowing that he needed to think about what he had said. 

Paul saw the look of horror on Tim's face when Gibbs left with Jeff. He knew what the young man was thinking. “Tim don't worry Gibbs isn't going anyplace he just needs a little time to think. I know your worried about the age difference but he loves you more than you know even more than he knows. Just give him a little time. That man would give his life for you and no not because your one of his team but because he loves you. Don't start doubting that love now. Don't doubt him or yourself, the love that you have kept hidden and in your hearts all these years is stronger than this. My first love was 20yrs older than me. Age is just a number that your heart doesn't care about. Take it from me this is a small hurdle.” 

“But I can't help but think that he doesn't want me. Our age difference is so much. I don't think I can take it if he walks out on me not now not after everything I have been through. He's never even been with a man and neither have I. We don't know what two men do together in bed. My whole life I have wanted and waited for someone to love me and someone to love and now I don't know what to do. I never thought it would be another man. After I was raped the first time. I never had thoughts of being with another man, not that I had them before I was raped. My father's reaction to my being raped was horrific. What the hell would he say or do if he found out I was in love with another man. If he finds out he might try to kill me or Jethroe. I can't ask him to put himself in danger for me. Its not fair. To me,to him, to us. My dad is crazy, he can't stand me yet he doesn't want me to be happy either. I can't do this as much as I care and love Jethroe I can't endanger him. I have to stop this now! I can't let someone else get hurt because of me. My family has been hurt enough because of me. Then the kid that was murdered because of me and now Gibbs being put in danger because of me this is just to much. My dad was right he should have killed me then. Nobody would have to suffer because of me. If it hadn't been for me that child would still be alive. My family wouldn't be split apart. Gibbs life wouldn't be endanger.” Tim sobbed.

 

Paul pulled him into an embrace and let the man cry. His world was coming apart at the seems and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Paul didn't know what else to do, how could he help. Being afraid of making things worse, there wasn't much he could do. I have to tell Jeff and Gibbs about this. I can't let him suffer anymore. He's suffered enough, he is not going to go through this alone. Tim can't live his life in fear. Paul continued to hold Tim close. He didn't notice that Gibbs had entered the room and overheard what Tim had said.   
Gibbs was shocked and angry at the McGee's words. He wasn't going to let Tim sacrifice everything just because of one man. Not after all they have been through and will be going through. The hurt and pain in his voice weighed heavy on Gibbs.   
A small noise alerted Paul to Gibbs presence in the room. Gibbs moved farther into the room and took McGee from Paul.   
“Tim it's going to be all right. I'm not going to let that bastard hurt either one of us. You don't have to worry and as for the child that died, that wasn't your fault as a matter of fact it was your work that caught that animal. Your not being there made us think for ourselves instead of relying on you. Because of your work and you not being there we looked again at what we had and found it. Don't ever think that your not part of the team because your a very special and important part of it. Your loved here Tim and don't ever think that your not. I love you and the whole team loves you. You have a family here Tim, we won't hurt you. Don't leave please. Don't let him force you from another family one that cares and loves you, no matter what.”  
Tim took in Gibbs words knowing that they were true. Yet deep down he hated himself for putting the people he loved the most in danger. He needed to know that not only Gibbs but the rest of the team wouldn't hate him. That they wouldn't care about the danger or that it could cost them more than they imagined. McGee knew what could happen and didn't want to put his friends in danger yet he knew that no matter what they would stand behind him. Yet Tim had been betrayed,hurt and thrown out because he wasn't what other people wanted. The only one in his family that cared about him was his sister and he didn't want to lose her, yet he couldn't bear to lose Gibbs either. They both had his heart. I don't know how she is going to take this. What if she turns her back on me the way dad did. How am I going to live without her in my life. Tim's thoughts turned inward and dark. How am I going to get thru this? What if this thing with Gibbs doesn't work out? What will I do then? I will really be all alone then. He says he loves me, but then so did mom and dad and look what happened there. How do I know he wont leave like they did? How do I know he wont get tired of me like his ex-wives and throw me away like a piece of garbage? With all I've been through can I really take that chance? Maybe I really should quit NCIS and take one of those private sector jobs. I'm just so confused and I just want to be happy and to stop hurting like this. 

 

Seems like all my life I have had to deal with pain. Why can't God just let me be happy, with no worries, just take Jethroes love and wrap it around me. Let it heal me and flow through me. Why for once in my life can't I have something i've always wanted and needed. Is it to much to ask for me to have a happy loving relationship, no matter who its with? Why is that so much to ask for? Why am I always the one to suffer? What makes me so bad? Why does God and everyone hate me so much? I'm a good person, at least I think I am. So why can't I be happy and have a loving relationship? 

McGee didn't notice that everyone in the room was looking at him, reading his emotions, his questions, his self doubt, all on his face and eyes.   
Gibbs just held the young man in his arms seeing the anguish in his eyes and reading it on his face.   
“Tim you don't have to worry about me leaving. I am not going anywhere. You don't have to doubt me about this. I know your full of self doubt, loathing, and that your worried about me leaving like my ex-wives. This is different I didn't feel for my ex-wives what I feel for you. I loved them but not in the same way I love you. Your the first person who has gotten to my heart. I love you the way I loved Shannon and Kelly. You opened my heart completely. You gave your love to me without me asking or knowing it and I did the same to you. I have my doubts as well. If your willing to talk and work on this then so am I. We have nothing to lose but ourselves in each other.” Gibbs told the younger man breaking the silence and clearing away some of his doubts. Gibbs tilted Tim's chin up and gently kisses his soft lips, gently biting his bottom lip causing McGee to moan and pull him tighter against him feeling Gibbs raging hardon in his dress slacks.   
When they broke the kiss both men looked around and found Paul and Jeff smiling at them both, noticing the sizable erections on both men. Jeff had come in silently when he saw that Gibbs wasn't in the hall. He hoped that the older man had figured out for himself that McGee is the person he wanted in his life. Just looking at the two of them Jeff knew that McGee's recovery was going to be swift. He has a man who loves him unconditionally and that he trusts and loves equally. This is going to be a very interesting recovery process. He knew that the four of them were going to become very close friends. He already knew he loved Paul and he was falling quickly for Gibbs and McGee. He had never known to men so right for each other and yet so opposite. Jeff wrapped Paul in his arms and just watched the two men. “This is something really beautiful. I have only seen this in a few gay couples and a few straight couples and it still amazes me how much love a person is capable of even in the face of so much hurt, pain, and tragedy in their lives. These two men are a credit the mankind.” Jeff thought. 

“Hey don't you two guys have something better to do than be pepping tom's on the two of us?” Gibbs said laughing.

 

“As a matter of fact Jethroe we do. You take care of that young man and I will be back later to check on him.” Paul announced as he steered Jeff towards the door. Jeff leaned over and whispered something in Paul's ear making both men laugh. 

“Tim you need to rest. I will be here so lay back and rest. You've been through a lot. You need to get your strength back and to heal so you can come home with me when they get ready to release you. This is not open for debate your staying with me till you are fully recovered and even after if you want. I know I am not a good catch and that your younger than me Tim. That doesn't matter to me. I love you and I can see in your eyes you love me. Lets take this time while your recovering to get to know each other and let things happen naturally. I won't rush you into anything. I expect you to let me know when your ready. I know that its going to take a long time before we can be intimate. I can wait. I have waited this long I can wait a little longer. Now close your eyes and get some rest. I'm going to be here with you.” Gibbs gently laid McGee back down on the bed squeezing his throbbing cock as he did so. Bringing a smile to the young mans face. Kissing his lips once again, he sat down next to him and held his hand while McGee drifted off to sleep.   
Even though he didn't want anyone to touch him, Gibbs touching his cock felt good. Gibbs touching him felt right. This was going to be something new and he knew he was going to like it already. He said a silent prayer as his drifted off to sleep, thanking God he had such a loving wonderful man in his life and had such good friends like Paul and Jeff. He would wait to hold judgment on the team until they all found out about what had happened to him and gauged their reactions. He loved them all like the family he never knew he just hoped and prayed they felt the same way. Sleep finally over came him as he took one last look into Jethroes icy blue eyes and felt himself falling into them. 

Gibbs sat there for awhile listening to Tim's steady even breathing, thanking whomever had brought this wonderful,loving man into his life. I don't deserve you Tim but I love you more than you can possibly imagine. Gibbs became lost in his own thoughts.   
“Gibbs....Gibbs...” Fornell said quietly shaking his old friends shoulder.  
“Wh...What? Oh Tobias what is it?”  
“ I need to talk to you outside.”  
“ Give me a minute will you Tobias.?”  
“Sure make it quick.”  
Gibbs leaned down and whispered in McGee's ear “ I going to be right outside i'm not leaving you Tim. I will be right back.”


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter10

 

2 weeks later.

Gibbs drove McGee to his house. The arraignments had all been made and Tim seemed to make a lot of progress with Gibbs help. His ribs and lungs had healed and his bruises and scars had either vanished completely or were almost gone. He was acting like his old self. Gibbs pulled up into his driveway, he was finally home with his young lover. They had spent every day and night together since Tim's rape. Now they were home. Gibbs hoped McGee would want to stay with him even after Jeff and Paul as well as Ducky said he was okay to be on his own. The more he was around McGee the more he loved the young man. Gibbs helped Tim get settled in the master bedroom as he was about to leave he stopped and asked, his hope soaring, “ Do you want me to stay in here with you Tim or would you be more comfortable with me in the other room?”   
“I would really like it if you slept with me. Since you have been staying with me I haven't had any nightmares. Besides I really like the feel of you next to me not to mention the other benefits....” Tim said as he blushed and grinned like a Cheshire cat.  
“ That's good cause I wasn't planning on leaving my lover alone in my big ole bed anyway.” Gibbs said teasingly as he kissed Tim.   
Both men laughed as Gibbs went downstairs to start dinner. “Gibbs what's for dinner? I am starved that hospital food was bad.” Tim yelled just as Gibbs reached the bottom of the stairs.  
“ How about steak, baked potatoes, and salad. Don't forget the beer to wash it all down with?” Gibbs yelled back as he stepped into the kitchen.  
A few minutes later McGee appeared in the kitchen. “Is there anything I can do to help?”   
“ You just take it easy I have this McGee.”   
“ It smells wonderful. My mouth is watering just from the smells.”  
Just as Gibbs turned the steaks he found himself wrapped in his young lovers arms and he relaxed into him.   
“Jeff and Paul are supposed to come over in a bit. Ducky also said he would be by to check up on you. I was hoping that you would make the desert and the salad for tonight. Unless you want to be the desert?” Gibbs said grining at the last part as he watched his young lovers face turn red. Just as McGee was about to answer the doorbell rang. Since bringing Tim home Jethroe had started locking the door. The team had been over a couple of times since Tim came home but a stern look from Gibbs told them not to ask to many questions. 

 

Gibbs opened the door and was shocked to see Jeff, Paul, Tony, Ziva and Ducky all on his front porch.   
“Are you going to let us in Jethroe or just stand there gaping at us like were dead fish.” Ducky smirked.  
“Yea come on in. I just wasn't expecting all of you tonight. I just hope we have enough food.” Gibbs said opening the door and stepping back so they could all come in.   
“Boss we have enough for everybody. Hi Tony,Ziva its really good to see you guys. What brings you here?”  
“We just wanted to make sure that your ok Tim. Since Gibbs wouldn't tell us whats going on here.” Ziva said.  
“ Nothing's going on Ziva. I just needed some recovery time since my accident on the assignment for the Director. Gibbs told me I could stay with him so if I needed anything he would be here to help me. That's all Ziva.” Tim said with certainty in his voice. The doctors took turns with Tim making sure he was doing good while the others helped finish preparing dinner. Questions raced through Tony and Ziva's minds as the other 3 men moved up and down the stairs.   
“ Boss I don't understand what happened to McProbie? Why are they making such a fuss over him. He looks fine to me.” Tony asked.   
“Yea Gibbs whats up with McGee? What exactly was that special assignment and why the shrink?” Ziva chimed in.  
“How do you know one of them is a shrink Ziva? If the director wants you two to know about the assignment he will be the one to tell you. Now lets eat dinner is ready.” Gibbs said setting the platter of steaks on the table just as Jeff and Tim came into the room. Ducky and Paul followed soon after. The conversation was kept light and there were no problems. That is until they were all leaving. Jeff, Paul, Ducky and Ziva hugged Tim goodbye but when Tony went to hug McGee and just as he put his arms around him,   
McGee screamed “ Don't touch me Tony, please don't touch me.” as tears fell from the young mans eye's, he ran from the room.   
The horrific look on McGee's face crushed Tony. “ What did I do Boss?” the hurt coloring his voice. Before Gibbs could answer Ducky began ushering him out the door.   
“ I have to go see to McGee. I will talk to you later Tony. Jeff would you please help me.” Gibbs asked as Jeff came back threw the door as him and Paul had heard McGee's scream.  
“I will go talk to him Gibbs. It might be best for you to stay down here for a while I will call you when it's safe to come up?” Jeff said gently.   
“Okay.” I will stay down here till you say its safe. The tone and look on Gibbs face telling the young doctor that he didn't like not being there for Tim but that he would do as he was asked. 

Gibbs started into the living room “ DiNozzo, David, with me.” he growled as he sat in his easy chair. 

Both agents sat in anticipation of what Gibbs would say. Gibbs sat there thinking for awhile until Tony finally broke the silence.  
“Boss whats up with Probie? Why did he react that way when I tried to hug him?What the hell happened to my Probie?”   
“The answer isn't a very simple on DiNozzo. The mission we were on was a joint operation between us and the FBI. They needed some information and asked if McGee could get it for them and in the process he was caught and tortured for three days. When we got him out he was like just what you saw. Its taken Jeff a long time to help him get through this. You reminded him of one of the men that tortured him. Even though the guy is dead he see's him when someone but the four of us try to touch him. It took him a long time to let me help him, or even touch him. That's why he is staying here. He can't stand to be left alone for more than a couple of minutes and he can't stay at his place because they know where he lives and is afraid that they will come after him. Hence the locking of the doors. This is very hard on Tim. So please don't question him about it, just for once in your life Tony let this go and never bring it up again.” Gibbs spoke softly but the meaning of his words left no room for argument or for breaching the insight.   
“If you can't handle this either of you I will transfer you off the team so tell me know?”   
“I will not mention it Gibbs.” Ziva said.   
“ I promise I won't mention it or tease him about ever Boss. He just looked terrified and it hurt to see him like that. I think of him as my little brother and I can't stand the thought of him being hurt.”   
“ I know Tony you and Ziva both think of him as a brother. But this is something that will take time for him to get over. We have to make it as easy as possible.” Gibbs said.  
“Gibbs will you come up here. Tim wants to see you?”  
Gibbs hurried up the stairs leaving his other two agents downstairs wondering what really was going on and what happened to their friend.

“We need to leave them alone. McGee is in good hands. Tony, Ziva I think we should go now.” Ducky said motioning to the door. They stood to leave when another scream split the silence. Both turned looking up at the closed door. Questions still dancing in their heads.  
After finally getting McGee calmed down and into bed Gibbs and Jeff stepped out of the room and down the stairs. Gibbs went into the kitchen to get the three of them a drink, beer wouldn't do for this tonight. He poured them three glasses of bourbon straight. As he entered the living room both men were sitting on the couch where Paul had been sitting since the others left. Hanging his head he sat in his chair. Quietly he asked “ What are we going to do Jeff? I don't understand what brought that on. He is so shattered its like the first time. It breaks my heart. He is such a loving man. How do I deal with this?”

“It's going to take time. He is fragile and for some reason Tony reminded him of one of his attackers. You have to be strong and patient for him Gibbs. I know its hard. When my lover was killed after I was raped I had no one and it tore me apart. I had to be strong and I hurt all the time. If Tim loses you now he won't recover. He will wind up killing himself one way or another or he will lose his sanity all together. Its going to take a lot for him to trust Tony again and most men. Its going to be hard on Tony. I know I could see the love he has for Tim.” Jeff said as he wrapped his arms aroung Gibbs knowing how much the man needed the comfort himself . He wanted to be strong for Tim but he needed strength himself and Jeff's comforting arms gave him the strength he needed right now.   
“Thank you Jeff. I needed that and its not easy for me to admit that I hope you know.” Gibbs said.  
“ Paul I think it might be best if you and I stay here tonight incase Tim has another incident. What do you think?”  
“I think its a good idea and Gibbs there is no arguing. We can sleep in the guest bedroom you need to be close to Tim in case it happens again.” Paul said putting a final note on the conversation. They sat there in silence for a time, when Jeff took Pauls hand and led him to the guest bedroom leaving Gibbs lost in his own thoughts.   
“ Jeff do you think Gibbs will be okay? Do you think he can handle it?”   
“ I think he has more strength than anyone gives him. He even lost his wife and daughter and survived that. He loves Tim so much this is just overwhelming him a little. He doesn't realize how strong Tim is and how much that young man loves him. It's going to take time. But it will happen.” Jeff said as he kissed his own new lover.

Gibbs sat there for he didn't know how long. He loved Tim so much, he just didn't know how he would get them through this. Finally he got up and went upstairs to bed to be with his lover. Gibbs undressed and slid into bed next to his sleeping young love. He carefully wrapped his arms around him and snuggled close and quickly fell asleep listening to Tim's breathing.   
Gibbs didn't know how long he slept when the night was shattered by McGee's ungodly screaming. Gibbs woke to find the young man in the corner naked and screaming his head off.   
Just as Gibbs got out of bed the door was thrown open and Jeff and Paul entered naked as well.   
“Jethroe don't touch him stay just where you are his is still in the grips of the nightmare. I will need to get through to him. His is seeing his attackers and he can't be woke up by just shaking him or saying his name. If we don't wake him up right it could hurt him. You have heard never wake a sleep walker where there are reasons for that.” Jeff said calmly. 

 

Gibbs watched as the young man gently took McGee in his arms and started whispering in his ear. It took a few minutes but McGee collapsed in Jeff's arms the tears falling uncontrollable. After a few minutes Gibbs was able to take him in his arms and hold him. Finally they managed to get him back into bed and he fell asleep almost instantly. Jeff and Paul went back to bed talking quietly. Gibbs slipped in besides McGee and held him close taking his time to watch the young man sleep. Finally Gibbs fell asleep.

Screams split the night once again. Bringing Gibbs awake and reaching for the empty space were McGee had been. Instead he found him in the corner once again screaming. The horror on his face was heart wrenching. It was a look that would haunt Gibbs for the rest of his life. Jeff and Paul rushed in, Jeff moved over to Tim and his screams increased.   
“This is getting worse. He is tearing himself apart.” Jeff thought to himself.   
“ Paul get me a sedative and quick before he completely loses it.” Jeff almost screamed to be heard over Tim.  
Paul raced out and returned just as quickly with a syringe filled with the sedative.  
Paul handed it to Jeff and he quickly jabbed it into McGee's arm. Soon the young man quieted and then the helped him back to bed.   
“ Gibbs you need to stay close. This one was bad. I have never seen someone like this. I hate to give him a sedative but he and us need to get some rest.”  
“Thank you Jeff.”  
Both men left as Jethroe slipped back into bed and wrapped himself around McGee. Jeff threw a look backwards and saw the tears slipping from Gibbs eyes. He knew how much the older mans heart was hurting at seeing his young lover like this. It hurt both of them to see McGee and Gibbs being torn apart like this. When they got to there room Paul turned and took Jeff in his arms seeing his own lovers hurt for the two men. “ I don't know what to do Paul. Tim is tearing himself apart and I can't stop it. Gibbs is hurting so much and I hate to see him hurting like this. He is afraid of losing Tim. Tim is afraid of losing himself and Gibbs. I don't know how much more he can take before his mind shatters.” Jeff said into Paul's ear as they held each other.   
“ I think I know someone who can help and they both trust him. Let me call him in the morning. That sedative should keep him sleeping in the more.” Paul explained.  
The rest of the night went without a hitch. Gibbs was the first up as usual and had coffee ready for the guest as well as started on breakfast when they cam up for their first cups of coffee.   
“I see you slept well Gibbs after it was all over. By the way how was Tim when you got up?” Jeff asked concern in his voice.  
“ Jeff he was fine and still sleeping. Thank you both for what you've done for us. I don't know what you gave him last night but at least the nightmares didn't reoccur. 

 

I was able to get some sleep and so was he. He did toss and turn a lot though. I hope you guys were able to get some sleep?” Gibbs said placing their coffee in front of them.  
“Gibbs are you alright? Are you starting to second guess this situation? I saw the look on your face last night and it worried me.” Jeff asked.  
“ I'm alright just hate to see Tim tearing himself apart and I can't do anything about it. It just hurts to not be able to help him when I want to so bad.”   
“ I know I see the hurt in your eyes every time I look at you and you look at him. He is a tough young man. You need to understand that and just have patience and be there for him.” Jeff said.  
“I know it's just that I feel so helpless and I am not used to feeling like this. I want to do more I just don't know what to do.” Gibbs almost pleaded.  
“ We may have the answer. I need to make a couple of calls and then we will know. I thought I would wait to see how he is doing before I make them though.” Paul interjected.   
Gibbs was about to say something when McGee walked into the room.  
“He who? What are you guys plotting this early in the morning. Boss can I have a cup of that coffee?” McGee said as he yawned.  
“We were talking about you Tim. How are you doing this morning.” Paul asked as McGee took a seat and a cup of coffeee.   
“I slept great last night. Why do you ask?” Tim said glancing at the worried looks on their faces.   
“ What do you remember about last night?” Jeff asked.  
“ Nothing I slept fine. Why what happened.”   
“Nothing happened. Just thought I would ask.” Jeff said.  
“Paul can I see you in the bedroom for a minute?”   
“Sure be there in a second.”  
Paul got up and followed Jeff out of the room. Gibbs glanced at Tim's face. The young man was always easy to read but this morning he showed no emotion just like he didn't remember the nightmares.   
“Tim are your really alright?”  
“ Yea Boss. I'm fine. Just need a shower and a shave. When do I get to go back to work anyway? I miss everybody. I'm tired of doing nothing I want to work.” Tim whined.  
Gibbs had to smile at the young man. “ Tim why are you calling me Boss here. You haven't done that in a long time. Why now? Did you sleep okay last night.”  
“ I slept fine. Did you Boss? Did something happen last night I don't remember? Why wouldn't I call you Boss anyway? Its not like we are sleeping together is it?”  
Gibbs felt his heart sink and his face fall. “ No Tim were not sleeping together and you don't have to call me Boss in my own home. You can call me Jethroe. No nothing happened out of the ordinary.” Gibbs tried hard to control his emotions as a single tear slid down his cheek.   
“Tim can you go see Jeff in the bedroom for a couple of minutes. He needs to talk to you.” Paul asked entering the room.  
“ Sure Paul is something wrong?”  
“No he just wants to talk to you in private.”   
“Okay.” Tim said as he left the room.  
Paul saw the look on Gibbs face and came around the table and hugged Gibbs. Whispering in his ear he asked, “What is it Jethroe? Whats happened?”  
“He doesnt even remember that we are together and that we have been sharing my bed. He doesn't remember that he calls me Gibbs or Jethroe. I've lost him Paul what am I going to do now?” Gibbs cried as he held onto the younger man. They held onto each other till they heard McGee enter the room.   
“ Is everything alright Jethroe? Why are you crying?” Tim asked worry tinging his voice.  
Gibbs pulled the younger man into an embrace and nuzzled his ear. “ It's because I love you Tim and I don't want to lose you. I thought I had lost you there for a minute.”   
“Why would you think that Jethroe?”   
“Because you didn't remember that we share a bed and have been sharing our lives for almost a month now. That you call me Jethroe or Gibbs when we are at home, not Boss.”   
“Why would I not remember sleeping with you Jethroe much less the fact that I love you more than life?”  
“I don't know. I am just glad your back, Tim.”  
“Jethroe you should know I am never going to leave you.”   
Gibbs broke the embrace just enough to kiss his young lover ever so gently.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11. 

It's been three months and still the nightmares plague McGee. They don't happen every night but when they do its hard for McGee or Gibbs to get back to sleep. Paul and Jeff have moved in together and are living as lovers. Tony and Ziva even Abb's has come to visit. They all have seen how the relationship between Gibbs and McGee has changed. Its a surprise to Tony and Abby but Ziva had seen this growing between the two men for a long time. She was happy to see the love Gibbs has for Tim and the return of it in Tim's eyes. They both deserved to be happy and yet there was a great sadness weighing on both men. She didn't know what it was but when they were ready they would tell her and hopefully the entire team. She had watched over the years how Gibbs had opened his heart to McGee even though the tough as nails Gibbs wouldn't admit it to himself or anyone else. She had seen the love and admiration of Tim's grow and be nurtured and she saw the happiness in his face and eyes. She knew he longed for Gibbs approval and he needed it now. He had that and a whole lot more. She wanted more than anything to see her little brother happy. She had known about his family life except for the reason he was not welcome in his parents home any more. She knew he loved his sister almost as much as he loved Gibbs. She could see it in his eyes and when his face lit up when either one of them walked into the room.   
Whatever happened to Tim had almost killed the young mans spirit and it had cost Gibbs a lot as well. It saddened her to see the spirit almost gone out of his eyes. She knew that whomever did this to her Tim better hope she doesn't find them before or after Gibbs. They were dead meat in either instance and one would not be any kinder than the other. They would both put them out of Tim's misery the only difference is how much they will suffer when it happens.   
Feeling a hand on her shoulder she looked up into Tim's green eyes. “I was wondering Ziva if we could talk outside?”   
“Sure Tim.”  
McGee led her outside to the far corner of the backyard where Gibbs had placed a bench so they could sit and talk. Sitting with their backs to the house, McGee started. “ Ziva when you were captured and being tortured and the aftermath there of how did you cope with it? What did you do?”   
“First Tim I buried it deep down but it began to poison me so Gibbs in all his infinite wisdom made me see a shrink and she has really been helping me. What's this all about Tim?”  
“ I know this is a hard question Ziva but I need to , and have to ask. Did they rape you?”   
“Yes Tim they did.” Ziva answered looking Tim in the eyes. Before Tim could say another word it dawned on Ziva. “ Oh my God Tim!!! Were you raped?”   
“ Yes they raped, tortured and brutalized me. Your the only one I can talk to about this because you've been threw this. How did you cope with it? How do you stop the nightmares? How do you stop being frightened every day of your life? How do you stop the fear that being intimate with someone will leave you screaming and huddled in a corner? Please Ziva help me to stop this nightmare. I'm begging you please before I go insane or worse kill myself.” Tim said as the tears flowed down his cheeks. Ziva took him in her arms and pulled him close. Her heart broke seeing him like this. How could anyone do this to such a sweet,kind, loving man? Tears fell from her own eyes in compassion for her brother. “ How can I make this hurt go away for him like he did me? How can I show him a part of me only he knows and can touch? How can I tell him that the nightmares and the fear never go away, at least for me they haven't. But you Tim have someone who loves you so much and cares so much about and for you.” 

 

 

Ziva was snapped out of her thoughts by a gentle hand on her shoulder. “ Just tell him the truth Ziva. Tell him that no matter what we will be here for him. That we will help him through this no matter what it takes. Tell him how much you love him. He doesn't think he is worthy of our love and we have to make sure everyday that he knows it and that we are there for him. Tell him how you feel and while your at it tell Tony how you feel as well.” Before Ziva could say anything Gibbs left leaving the two of them alone once more.   
Ziva quietly held him while gathering her thoughts. “Tim I want you to look at me.”  
“I want you to know that the nightmares and the fear have never left me. I still feel them at the back of my mind. I don't have someone like Gibbs to love me the way that you do. I know he loves you Timothy because I can see it in the way he looks at you and you look at him. I love you as well Tim. So does every one on the team. Your not alone in this now or ever. Your one of a kind and we love you for it and because of it. Don't let the animals that did this to you win. If you do then you went through this all for nothing. I won't lose another brother Tim. So I want you to fight and when you need and want to talk you say so and I will be there for you. Your not alone now or ever. Your part of this team and your going to stay part if it no matter what. Do you hear me Timothy McGee” Tim smiled at her. Reaching over he wiped the tears from here eyes and cheeks. “ I hear you big sister and thank you. What you said and did for me has met a lot to me.” Tim hugged her close and got up and reached for her hand to help her up.   
“Shall we rejoin the party Madame?” Tim asked giving her a goofy grin.  
“Yes we shall Sir!” she said taking his hand and wrapping an arm around his waist as they headed back inside to join the party. Just before they got to the door she asked “ By the way what is up with Paul and Jeff? Who are they?”  
“Jeff is a male rape survivor and counselor that Director Vance knows. He has helped me a lot. Paul is the doctor that examined me when I got to the hospital. He also is a rape survivor. They met and fell head over heels in love.” Tim acknowledged with a big grin on his face. Gibbs watched as they came back inside. Tim's laughter rang through the house filling it with a joy it hadn't known in a long time. Gibbs knew he had made the right decision to have this party. Tim's laughter filled his heart with a joy he hadn't felt since Shannon and Kelly. For the first time in a long time he felt the world was right and that both men had finally found what they were looking for. Gibbs did his best to hide the smile that covered his face from ear to ear but Ziva noticed and gave him a hug as she whispered in his ear, “ Thank you Gibbs. This is the happiest I have seen Tim in a long time. You two are good for each other. It's also the first time I have ever seen you truly happy and relaxed. Don't let him go. He loves you and you love him.”  
Ziva didn't see the silent tear that fell down Gibbs cheek as he heard the love in her voice and saw the smile on his young lovers face. “Thank you Ziva that means a lot to us both. I just hope the others are as understanding as you are?”

 

“Don't worry about them Gibbs its your happiness and Tim's that matters. I will deal with them. You just take care of yourself and McGee.”  
Gibbs hugged her tighter then leaned back and kissed her forehead. Her understanding touched his heart. Ziva left Gibbs to do what ever Gibbs was going to do. Joining the party they both watched as McGee fell into a nice relaxed state and enjoyed the company of his team and other guests.   
The team helped Gibbs clean up before departing, while Tim was ushered upstairs to be checked out by all three doctors even though Jeff wasn't really a doctor.   
“Gibbs that boy of yours seems to be doing really fine. When do you think the two of you can come back to work. We really need you both?” Vance asked as Gibbs was putting the dishes in the dishwasher.   
“We it all depends on what happens tonight. He did fine at the party but how he will do at the office is another story. I think that maybe if the doctors all agree we can hopefully come in tomorrow for a couple of hours.” Gibbs said.  
“That would be great and I know it will help McGee out just to be around other people so he can start getting back into work and not be terrified at someones touch. That kid of yours one hell of an agent and I would hate to lose you both because of this.”   
Leon said.

Just as Gibbs was going to respond in walks Ducky, Jeff and Paul, all three with big smiles on their faces.   
“Whats up with you guys? You all look like the cat that ate the canary.” Gibbs asked.  
“Well its just that we all have agreed that Tim can go back to work only for a couple of hours a day. We thought that maybe he could start tomorrow or the next day.”  
“Wow that is great news. I know that Tim will be excited.” Gibbs announced.  
“Well Leon I guess you have your answer. I will give it one more day and then we both will be back on Tuesday. I do want to make sure that Tim has a good shadow still until we are all agreed he is going to be safe.” Gibbs said.   
“Good Gibbs then I expect to see the both of you on Tuesday morning bright and early.”   
“We will be there Leon and I know Tim is going to be so excited.”   
“Good night Jethroe and take care of that boy of yours.”  
“Goodnight to you all as well.” Gibbs said opening the door and letting the men out.   
Gibbs locked up and checked all the windows and doors then headed upstairs to find Tim in bed already asleep. The night must have worn him out. Gibbs undressed and slipped naked into bed next to Tim. The younger man snuggled up against Gibbs as he wrapped his arms around the slim waist. 

 

“Are they all gone?” Tim asked sleep heavy in his voice.  
“Yes they are. I thought you were asleep?”   
“ I was waiting for you to come to bed so we could snuggle.”  
“I'm here now so you can rest and get some sleep and in the morning I have some good news for you.”  
“ Good. I love having you next to me in bed. I know we haven't been intimate yet and I really want to feel you inside me Jethroe.”  
“Tim that will take some time still but when you are ready then it will happen. By the way I want to feel you inside me as well.”   
It was the first time Gibbs had even thought about having McGee inside him. They had always talked about him inside Tim but the more that Gibbs thought about it, the more he wanted and needed that special connection with Tim. He thought that it might also help Tim and he would do anything for Tim.   
They fell asleep in each others arms that night. No nightmares no tossing and turning. When the alarm went off Tim woke to the smell of fresh coffee. He didn't even bother to dress as he made his way downstairs to the coffee pot and his lovers arms.   
Entering the kitchen Tim slipped his arms around Jethroes slim waist and nibbled on his ear, eliciting a moan from the older man that caused his cock to rise to attention.  
“So what is the good news you have for me?” Tim cooed in Gibbs ear.  
“Well you will be happy to know that you and I will be going back to work in the morning.” Gibbs turned in his lovers arms. The smile on Tim's face lit up the whole house. It was wonderful seeing the young man so happy. Gibbs kissed him tenderly feeling both their hard cocks rubbing against each other.   
“But we are going to take things slow so you are restricted to only a couple of hours a day, for now so we can see how things go with so many strangers around. Is that clear McGee.” Gibbs admonished breaking the kiss. 

“Yes Boss thats clear” McGee said chuckling.  
“Okay now lets eat and then get dressed. I think we need to go for a walk and then come back and fix lunch. What do you say?” Gibbs said as he playfully squeezed McGee's firm ass.   
“Sounds good Boss. I would like to go for a walk.”   
They ate in silence showered and dressed and then headed out for a nice long walk. McGee started down the street when Gibbs whistled catching his attention.  
“Where are you going McGee? Get in the car. I didn't say anything about walking around here. I know a nice little secluded spot. Its quiet and I think you will like it.”  
“Boss I …..” McGee stuttered before reaching the car and climbing inside.   
“Where are we going Boss?”  
“It's a secret McGee. You do know how to keep those don't you?” Gibbs smirked.

 

“Yes Boss I do know how to keep them.”   
Gibbs pulled Tim close and kissed him. Releasing him he started the car and off they went.   
A few hours later, they pulled back into the drive way. Both men starving and Tim drained of energy. Pulling the grocery bags out they headed up the stairs and into the house. When Tim noticed that the front door was open. Pointing to the door McGee brought it to Gibbs attention as he set his bags down quietly and reached for his gun. Just as Gibbs was setting his down, the door opened and there stood Tobias.  
“About time you two got home. Jethroe we need to talk now.” Tobias said glancing in Tim's direction.  
“Sure Tobias just let us put these in the kitchen and McGee can start lunch, while we talk.”   
Tobias stepped out of the way and let Gibbs and McGee in. They took the bags into the kitchen and set them down. Gibbs kissed Tim quickly and went back to the living room to find Tobias standing there waiting on him. Fornell motioned with his head that they needed to talk outside out of ear shot of McGee.   
Fornell led the way.  
“Tobias what is this all about. What the hell is so important that you had to break into our home?” Gibbs growled.  
“We found some disturbing evidence in all the rape kits Jethroe. We have a lead on one of the men that did this to McGee and Paul. There is only one problem. He's a Cop.”   
“What! You mean to tell me that a cop helped to do this to those two men and who knows how many others! We have to get this animal off the streets. Who is this Bastard Tobias!”  
“Thats the problem Jethroe. We know who he is but the problem is we can't touch the son of a bitch because he is a Senators son.” “ We are going to have to figure away to get to him so he can't use his Daddy's clout to get out of it. I suspect that he has done this before and that he has gotten away with it for years.”   
“Dam. This is a kink. I will talk to Vance tomorrow and maybe the SecNav. Can help get the bastard. If they do we have to guarantee them that the case will stand up in court and not be swept under the floor to keep the Senators good name out of the papers.  
Will the evidence support the case? Will it be airtight?” Gibbs growled his anger growing by the second.   
“My people assured me that it will and that their reputations are spotless. Let me know and I will present them both with the case we have and they can decide if we need more evidence or not.”

“ I will call you in the morning Tobias and thank you for this. I owe you one for all this hard work and your people.”

 

“Just remember that that young man in there is the reason we are all doing this. He means a lot to us all. He has helped us out of a lot of jams over the years. He is worth it. He's a dam good agent and a brilliant young man.”   
Fornell took his leave. Gibbs stood in front of the house thinking could this get any worse, when the door opened and McGee came out.   
“Lunch is ready Jethroe. Did Tobias leave already? I made enough for him to.”   
“Yes he left. He had some things to do before tomorrow. He has a meeting with Vance. Let's go eat. I'm starving.”  
The rest of the day past quickly. The next morning Gibbs awoke to an empty bed and the smell of fresh brewing coffee. He took a quick shower and then went downstairs to find McGee had just finished making breakfast and set a cup of coffee in front of Gibbs. Gibbs was startled to see McGee already dressed and ready to go to work.   
“ I didn't want you having to wait on me Boss, so I went ahead and showered and dressed before the alarm went off. Hope you didn't mind waking up alone.”  
“No I was just a little worried. Are you ok this Morning Tim?” Gibbs asked.   
“Yes I am find Boss. I just wanted to be ready when you were.”   
They ate in silence even though Gibbs kept watching McGee out of the corner of his eye.   
When they got to the office they were greeted by a big banner that said “Welcome back McGee and Gibbs?” The whole office cheered as they walked off the elevator. Making both Gibbs and McGee blush. They shook hands and got pats on the back as they settled into the job. The day began without a hitch, then the call came in a petty officer was found murdered in the park. Gibbs called for them to grab their gear and let's go. When they arrived McGee pictures, Ziva evidence, Tony talk to the witness's who found the body.   
At the end of the day they all went home and everything was fine. It all went great at least for the next three months when they got a call.   
“Grab your gear people and lets go! All but you McGee you need to sit this one out.”   
“But Boss I'm fine. What ever it is I can handle it.” Tim whined.  
“ Not this time McGee and that's an order. You stay here and we will send you what we have at the moment. There is no arguing on this one Tim. Stay put.” Gibbs saw the hurt in McGee's eyes. Tim complied and set his gear back down. Hanging his head in shame and defeat he simply sat in front of his computer and waited.   
Gibbs new that Tim was hurt by being left out. This is one case he couldn't have his agent on. Because this was a rape case and if it came out McGee was raped it could call into question the evidence and the chain of custody not to mention the fact that it could bias the case against them and this was a case they weren't about to lose because of it. 

 

“Boss isn't McGeek coming with us?” Tony asked.  
“No DiNozzo and don't bring this case up in front of him at all. This case is off limits to him and he cannot be any where near it. Is that understood DiNozzo?” Gibbs glared at him.   
“Yea Boss I understand and I promise I won't say a word about it?”   
They drove to the sight in silence. When they arrived and went about their assignments. When they were alone Tony asked “Ziva whats going on with Gibbs? I've never seen him act like this. Why did he not let McGeek come with us?”   
“Tony this is one time you need to just shut up and do your job. Gibbs has his reasons and personally I think that he is just looking out for McGee's best interests. Don't question him on this.”   
“Alright I will let it drop. Have you noticed a change in Gibbs and McGee's relationship? They seem to be more like lovers than Boss and Probie. Or am I just reading into it something that's not there?”  
“Tony their relationship is of no concern of ours now drop it?”   
Tony went back to work. He had never been to a rape case at least not when the victim was another man. The petty officer was about his age, goodlooking,handsome, and strong and yet he was raped, beaten, and tortured to death and it was all on video for some sick freak to enjoy over and over again. Who ever had done this to this petty officer knew his way around a military base. The sick freak also left a message in blood on the walls.   
“To view this video go to RapeAMan.com. You will see the whole thing. He was a good fuck and all 25 of us enjoyed raping his virgin ass.”   
“ These animals need to be caught Ziva. If they have done this to one military man think of what they will do to the next man or women they catch. This is wrong just plain wrong Ziva. I mean men don't get raped?” Tony announced.  
“Your wrong Tony. A lot of men get raped they are just to embarrassed to admit it or report it. I know several men that are rape survivors and so do you? Just because society tells us that men can't be raped doesn't make it so. Not all men who are victims of rape are gay. I know several married men that have been raped. They can't even have a normal sex life now because of it. Being raped ruins a man Tony. Don't take what has happened to the petty officer as something that never happens to men but only happens to gay men.” Ziva told him in a matter of fact tone and then left him to think of what she said.  
Tony continued working but became lost in his thoughts. He couldn't understand how a military man could let himself be raped nor any man at that. How can a man be raped anyway?   
“DiNozzo if your finished then lets go?” Gibbs yelled bringing Tony out of his thoughts. 

 

“Sure Boss on my way.” Tony said taking one last look at the crime scene before leaving.   
“I am going to have to look into this. I never thought a man could be raped. I wonder if I can google it and see.” Tony thought to himself.

The ride back to NCIS was filled with silence. No one daring to speak. Gibbs mood was not only foul but he was ready to tear heads off. When they got back no one spoke to McGee they all just went about their business. Gibbs headed up to talk to the Director and Ziva took a detour down to Abby to see if maybe she would take a look at the web site. Maybe she could back track it and find out where it originated from, maybe even who owns it and who put up the video of the petty officers rape and murder.   
Abby was listening to her usual music when Ziva walked in.   
“Hey Abby, We found a website address and we need you to check it out. This is a rush okay Abby?”   
“Sure Ziva. Anything for you. But why don't you have Timmy do it he's a lot better at this than I am?”  
“Gibbs asked me to have you do it. I don't know why he didn't want McGee to do it but he specifically asked me to have you do it.”  
“ I will get right on it and will let Gibbs know when I have something?”   
“Thanks Abby.”  
Ziva left without thinking that Abby might ask McGee for help. A few hours later Ziva and Tony made a lunch run. When they came back Abby was standing at McGee's desk talking.   
“Here you go Tim.” Ziva said handing Tim his lunch and drink.   
“Thanks Ziva.” Tim said taking his order from her.   
They all sat down to eat when suddenly a loud wail and scream where heard. Ziva and Tony looked around only to find Tim racing out of the bull pen and down the hall to who knows where.   
“What the was that all about Abby?” Ziva asked.  
“ I don't know I had asked Timmy for some help and when he broke through that websites firewalls that you gave me he just jumped up, panic in his eyes, and then raced off down the hall screaming “NO, NO,NO, this can't be happening. Not here, Not now.”  
“Move Abby I want to see what he saw.” Ziva said moving Abby out of the way to look at McGee's monitor. Tony right behind her. Ziva went white.   
“Tony go get Gibbs now!!!” She screamed.  
“ Why Ziva whats the big deal...?” The question died in his throat as he recognized the young man being raped on the screen. It was McGee.   
“Tony tell Gibbs I am going to find Tim and he needs to call Ducky right away. No go.” Ziva yelled as she raced down the hallway looking for McGee.

 

“Tony what's going on? Whats wrong with our Timmy?” Abby squealed as tears poured down her face.  
“ Abby I don't.....” Tony started to say but was cut short by Gibbs yelling.  
“What the hell happened to McGee and where is Ziva? DiNozzo”   
“Ziva told me to tell you to call Ducky now and she went to find McGee.” Tony said his voice cracking as he continued to watch his Probie being raped and tortured.   
“DiNozzo what the hell are you …...” Gibbs went silent when he saw what was on McGee's monitor.   
It took a few seconds then Gibbs barked “ DiNozzo turn that off and call Ducky tell him we need Paul and Jeff here now. Abby I want you to start tracing this now and get cyber crimes on it to help ASAP. Now move it Abby.”   
Abby still didn't understand why everyone was so upset but she did as she was asked. Abby raced to her lab to start the trace. After starting the trace she raced to cybercrimes and yelled at Lee the one over cyber crimes. She told him what Gibbs wanted and the help she needed.   
“There's no time to waste Lee we need that information as soon as possible it may be life and death.”  
“We will do our best but why don't you ask McGee for the help?” Lee queried.  
“ I would if I could but something about this website has really gotten to him. Gibbs and Ziva are both trying to find him. We need this now.”  
“Ok Abbs what is the name of the site and we will start our own trace from here.”  
“It's called www.RapeAMan.com” Abby told him.  
“Thats a strange name for a web site. Whats this got to do with NCIS?”  
“We caught a case today and a petty officer was raped and tortured. Somehow this website is connected. Thats why we are trying to find out about it. That and something about it set McGee off.” Abby explained.  
They talked for a few more minutes and then Abby excused herself and went back to her lab.  
A couple hours later Gibbs came bursting into the lab.  
“What were you thinking Abby? Asking McGee to help you with the trace on that site. Didn't Ziva tell you not to bother him? Well Abbs?” Gibbs yelled his fury evident in his eyes and on his face.   
“ Do you know what you've done? Do you? How could you be so thoughtless as to expose him to that.? Just how cruel are you? You almost destroyed Tim with that little stunt. He almost killed himself because of what you did to him. If it weren't for Ziva finding him in time he would have succeed. Is that what you want. To see him dead? Is that the only thing that will satisfy you? All these years he waited for you, loved you, was you whipping boy and now you do this to him. Why? Is it because he doesn't love you anymore and he loves me? Do you really hate him that much for loving me Abby?

 

Why can't you just be happy for him? Why can't you just let us be happy? We both finally found someone who loves us and just because we are both men you have to try and destroy him for it? He loved you like a sister and this is how you repay his kindness, his love, with treachery and deceit. What did he do to make you hate him so much that you would hurt him like this. To make him relive his worst nightmare. To make him relive the rapes. How many times does he have to be punished for something not his fault. He didn't ask to be raped. He begged them not to and now you put it on display for every one to see. Why Abbs?” Gibbs yelled as the tears fell.   
Abby was shocked by Gibbs rage and anger. She had never heard him like this before. Then he tells her that McGee and him are lovers and that Timmy was raped more than once. She couldn't say anything she just watched Gibbs leave a broken man. Her heart was torn apart thinking that she had hurt the two men she loved more than anything. How could she have been so stupid?  
Abby sat in the lab for a long time just crying and thinking. She knew now that there was no fixing this. She got up walked to her computer and began typing an email to Vance. Since she couldn't fix this the only alternative was to resign.   
So caught up in her resignation that she didn't hear or see Ziva walk in.  
“Abby what are you doing?”  
“I'm resigning. It's the only thing I can do now. Gibbs hates me. Tim will probably never forgive me or speak to me again. I really screwed up and this is the only thing I can think of to fix it. What else can I do Ziva?”  
“Well for starters you can get off your ass and out of the pool of pity and help us catch the animals that did this to our Timothy. Unless you would rather I beat your butt.”  
Drying her eyes the lab rat got up and started to work on finding the animals that did this to her Timmy.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Flash back.

“Hey Abby what can I do for you?” McGee asked smiling.  
“Hey McGee. Gibbs asked me to put a trace on this website to see if we can find out where it comes from, who owns it, and who put a certain video up. I can't seem to get through their firewalls and was wondering if you could help me. I already have it running in the lab and thought we could patch it in up here if thats okay.”  
“Sure thing Abbs.” Tim said as he patched into the site from his computer and started working on getting through their firewalls. As soon as he broke through he stared in disbelief. There on the screen was him being raped and tortured. Jumping up he screamed “OH NO! OH NO! Not this, not here.” I didn't know where to go to hide, so I just ran and ran. I finally found a small dark room I could hide in. “Why would they do this to me? How could they? Now everyone will know what was done to me how am I supposed to live like this? They will know how I was humiliated. After he sees this Gibbs won't want me. He'll hate me just like my father did. Him and the rest of the team will turn their backs on me. I'd be better off dead. I can't take it anymore. Now I've lost the only man I have ever loved and I won't be alone anymore. Why did this happen to me? I don't have the strength to do this anymore.” Tim cried as he took out his knife the one Gibbs insisted that they all carry at all times. Tim's hand shook as he opened the knife and placed it against his wrist. He carefully slid the blade down his arm opening the arteries. He was careful not to cut the tendons. Just as he was taking the knife in his other hand he heard his name being called.   
“I just want the pain to end. I want it all to end. It hurts so much and now i've lost it all.” Tim sobbed as the brought the knife down his other arm.   
Just then the door flew open and there stood Ziva.   
“OH MY! Tim what have you done? Gibbs I found him get Ducky NOW!” Ziva yelled. “ Tim's slit his wrists and we need to stop the bleeding.”   
“Please Ziva just let me die. I'm nothing anymore. I'm worthless. Please just let me end it all and take away the pain.” Tim pleaded and begged his friend as his tears began again.  
“Don't you die on me McGee you hear me don't you die. I love you Tim. Please stay with us. Gibbs where's Ducky?” She screamed as she watched the light fade from Tim's green eyes.  
“Please tell Jethroe I LOVE HIM. I just can't go on anymore.” McGee whispered.  
“Tell him yourself McGee.” Ziva demanded.

 

“Tell me what Tim?” Gibbs said as he arrived with Ducky in tow.   
“Tell him Tim?” Ziva encouraged.  
“I LOVE YOU LEROY JETHROE GIBBS!” McGee whispered as his eyes closed.  
“Do something Ducky. I can't lose him. Please help him” Gibbs pleaded.   
“ I will do what I can be someone needs to call an ambulance right away. He doesn't seem to have lost much blood but shock could be setting in.” Ducky announced.  
Just then Tony came up. “ I have an ambulance on its way. Is he going to be okay Ducky?”  
“I don't know and if you all don't let me work we will never know. The poor has passed out from shock and emotional trauma.”   
The clock ticked slowly as Ducky worked to get Tim ready for the ambulance. As they got McGee loaded into the ambulance and headed for Bethesda. Gibbs had the for thought to call and let Paul and Jeff know where they were going. Gibbs joined McGee in the back of the ambulance so the young man would have someone familiar in case he woke up.   
Ziva called to let McGee's sister know what had happened to her brother and to let her know that he would be in Bethesda. They arrived at the same time as the ambulance and they got Tim into ICU. Only Gibbs,Ducky, Paul, and Jeff were allowed in.   
The whole team was in the waiting room all except Abby. She couldn't bring herself to be there after what she had done. She wasn't supposed to ask Tim for help on this one but she couldn't do it on her own and she didn't understand what the big deal was or why McGee took off like he had. 

A couple hours ago back at the lab:

Abby went back down to the lab after they left with Tim. She still didn't understand or realize what had happened and why Tim had reacted the way he did.   
“I just don't get why McGee was so upset by this site?” Abby said to herself as she sat back down in front of her computer to take a look at what McGee had seen and found on the website.   
She brought up the website and started to look thru the videos plastered there. She ran through several until she came upon the one with the petty officer in it. She watched in horror at what the petty officer went through.  
“My God how can someone do this to another human being much less a man doing it to another man?” She asked herself. As she watched closely she started to see things that she never saw before. She started noticing that there were men in the background that were in uniform. The good thing about it was the sound. With that she might be able to find at least some of the animals that did this to the petty officer. 

 

As Abby continued to watch her horror grew at what these men did to the petty officer. She continued to pick details out about the men raping the petty officer as she watched. Abby noticed that a couple of the men had really odd and strange tattoo's. One man even had his dick tattooed. More and more became clear as she became engrossed in what was going on in the video. Then she heard something really strange.   
One of the men said, “ Hell this guy is better than that fed. we raped last week. That guy was even a virgin and this ones ass is so much tighter. Maybe we should kidnapped that agent again and see if his ass has gotten any tighter since we fucked the hell out of him. He was a good piece of ass, especially when he was begging us not to fuck him. He was a good cocksucker as well. I sure wouldn't mind having a go at him again. He screamed so beautifully when I rammed my 11” cock in his tight hole though.   
Man did you guys see his face when I did. He was fucking crying like a little pussy bitch. That was no fucking man we raped it was a fucking girl.” The guy laughed with that and so did the rest of them.   
The statement about the federal agent being raped got Abby thinking. So she began to search into the videos posted to find the one that the man was talking about.   
It didn't take her long to find it. There weren't very many videos on this site. Maybe they had just started. She started watching the video with renewed interest. As she sat staring at the screen she watched as the men in this video were almost the same in the last the only difference in this one was little to no sound. Her horror only grew as she watched as the man claiming to have an 11” cock slammed it into the young man's ass without lube or any preparation. The man seemed to enjoy the pain he was causing his victim. She continued to watch as the men did as much damage as they could to their victim. They beat him, raped him, burned him in places no one would see, they tortured him, and more. When they got to the end of the video they revealed their victims face and then it hit home with Abby.   
“OH MY GOD!!!” Abby screamed as she recognized the face of not only their victim but that of her friend. There on here screen was McGee's shame and humiliation for all the world to see. Now she knew why it had affected McGee so much and why she was told not to get his help on this.   
“What have I done. I need to fix this and hope that we can shut this site down.”   
Abby ran down to cyber crimes to talk to Lee. When she got there she found everyone huddled around one monitor. As Abby walked up she heard one of the guys say, “ No wonder Gibbs wants these bastards and I for one will do everything in my power to make sure he get them or Ziva does. What he must have went through. I don't think if I survived I wouldn't kill myself.”   
Abby rounded on the group. “ Then we all need to get these animals and take them down. For McGee's sake. I want this site blocked with the best encryption we can put together I don't want anyone inside or outside this building to see this ever again.

 

McGee has been through enough and he doesn't need to go through more. These bastards are going to pay and pay dearly for what they did to our Tim. Let's get to work on catching these guys.” Abby said the fury in her voice was startling.   
“ I think I can speak for everyone here that we are going to do our best to shut this thing down and not let anyone have access to it. We can even put a trace on it so if someone does try we can back trace it and get their information and location. It may give us a clue to the perps.” Lee announced.   
“ Good I will let you guys handle that and if you need my help I will be in my lab. I have some research of my own to do.” Abby said as she left.  
When she got back to her lab she took a look at some of the other video's. As she was going through them she noticed one that was a little different this one was about two men being raped at the same time. She watched a bit of it when it dawned on her that one of the two men she knew she just couldn't place him. She continued to watch for awhile but still couldn't place the man.

 

Back at the hospital. 

Gibbs sat next to McGee's bed holding his young lover's hand in his. He didn't care who knew now and he didn't care that his tears were not stopping. He had almost lost the man he loved and he didn't care what people thought or said now. He just wanted Tim alive and well. That's all he cared about now. That and catching the animals that did this to McGee.   
The others left him alone with his grief. Knowing what a private man he was no one dared to disturb him or Tim till they had to. 

Ziva and Tony where quietly arguing out in the waiting room.   
“Tony how can you say that?” Ziva demanded.  
“ Because I don't see how a trained federal agent could let this happen to him. Men just don't get raped. Unless they are gay then they ask for it.” DiNozzo argued.  
“ No Tony. It doesn't matter if a man is gay or not. Men get raped more than you think. No one askes to get raped. Rape is not about sex, it's about violence and domination making the victim less than human. What your spouting is nonsense and myths.” Ziva told him. Looking him in the eyes. “ I suppose you don't think men in the military don't get raped either. Let me tell you there were men in my group that told of the horrible things done to them by their own men. They weren't gay. They had families Tony. It ruined their lives. So don't ever tell me that what happened to McGee he deserved or that its because he is gay, by the way he isn't and neither is Gibbs. They just happen to be two men who fell in love. So unless you want me or Gibbs to teach you about how a man can be raped or worse. I suggest you keep your mouth shut and never   
mention it again. Do I make my self clear DiNozzo. Before you start spouting off at the mouth again you should do the research and get those myths out of your head.” Ziva said as she glared at Tony.   
“Ziva I'm sorry. I didn't know and your right I should have kept my mouth shut. What happened to McGee was not his fault and he didn't ask for it. I let my mouth overload my brain and I didn't think about what I was saying or how it would affect Tim.   
He's the first man I have ever known that was raped. It's hard on me and I know its killing Tim.” Tony said apologetically.  
“Tony, Tim isn't the first man that you have know that was raped. He is just the first to be a little open about it. Both Paul and Jeff are rape survivors. I also happen to know of a man you admire very much who was raped and not just once. They came back and raped him 10 times before he finally was able to get the courage up to kill the bastards. Don't ask me who it is because what is said in my group stays in my group. What you could have said in front of Tim could have really hurt him and Gibbs. Don't think that just because two men or women love each other that they are gay. That is not always the case. Just be careful with your words Tony and think before you speak. The one your hurting could be someone you care a great deal about.”Ziva said quietly.  
“ I think I've hurt McGee enough. If Gibbs doesn't kiss me first. Knowing this I don't know how to talk to him anymore. It's like this has not only affected him but all of us. I feel like I am walking on eggshells now and seeing him like this just makes it hurt all the more.”   
“Tony the last thing McGee needs is for you to start treating him differently. He needs to know that your not going to change just because of this. This is something that he will never get over. He will always have the nightmares and the terror. It just doesn't go away because we want it to. His very being has been called into question not only by his rapist but by everyone he know and most importantly himself. If we and him let this continue to change our relationship with him then the rapist won. We have to be there for him. Not constantly asking him if he is ok not walking on eggshells, but by treating him no different than before. He needs your jokes and your teasing. That is what makes him feel loved and wanted. If you stop that then he starts to question himself. Just be mindful of what you say. We cannot protect him from the world and if we try that just makes him think he is weak and a failure. Rape is a horrible crime but it affects men differently than women. With men it calls into question their very being. Their sexuality, their manliness, how they think and perceive themselves. Just because a man has an erection during the rape and ejaculates during it or after it doesn't mean he is gay, liked it, or wanted it. That is just a natural reaction to stimulation.” Ziva explained. 

“I always thought that if a guy got an erection during something like that that he was gay or at least liked what was happening to him. I never thought about it like that Ziva. Its just a natural reaction. How do you know all of this?”

 

“Because I not only talked to Paul and Jeff but also the men in my group.”

Just as Tony was about to say something he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning to look it was Paul.   
“Tony you have nothing to be ashamed of. Most men that are raped never think that it can happen to them. I didn't neither did Jeff. Its a crime that goes unreported for the most part. Men think that if a man is raped he isn't a man and thus we perceive this as survivors as well. We think I had to of done something to lead that person on to make them think I was gay. But the truth of the matter is that rape is a crime of violence. The perpetrator dehumanizes the victim, telling them they wanted it, that they are not a man. We believe that because society has told us that men cannot be raped. If your raped then you must be gay or wanted it. The legal system is even worse. The cops make jokes about you in front of you demoralizing you even further. Humiliating you. They don't treat men the same way they treat women survivor's. They make us relive it over and over just for their sick humor. McGee will get through this but we all have to help him. Tony all you need is a little more education.” Paul said looking into Tony's tear filled eyes. He knew the man was hurting and that he was doing his best to forgive himself for some imagined wrong against Tim. Paul did what came naturally. He pulled Tony into a hug and let him know that it was okay to let his emotions out. 

 

Gibbs sat holding Tim's hand letting all the years of pent up emotions out. No one but Shannon and Kelly had ever seen him cry and now after all these years he was finally able to let it out. Laying his head on Tim's chest he listened to his breathing as his sobs wracked his body. No one had touched him, in all these years, the way Tim had. Now he might lose him. Laying there letting his thoughts and emotions run wild he soon fell into a deep restful sleep.   
Tim didn't know how long either one of them slept but he found Jethroe laying his head on his chest and for some reason his chest was wet. Tim didn't remember much of what happened except that horrible scene on his monitor of his rape and humiliation. He looked around the room and realized he was in the hospital but didn't remember what had happened. He lifted his hand and thats when he saw the bandages wrapping his wrist. “What have I done? What happened to me? Why am I here? Did I really try to kill myself? Oh my.....How could I have done this to Jethroe?” he thought to himself. As the tears began to fall once again he softly stroked the hair of the man he loved.   
“What the hell is wrong with me? This isn't me. I would never hurt Jethroe for anything. This can't be happening, not after all I/we have gone thru. I thought the nightmares were over that maybe I could get on with my life. That maybe Jethroe and I could start new. Then this happened what ever this is. 

 

What's he going to think now? Surely he won't want me after this. He won't want me on the team either anymore not if I am going to do this again. He won't have someone as weak as me on his team. He is strong and I don't blame him for not wanting me anymore. Why did I let this happen to me again? Why didn't I stop it? Why didn't I fight back? This has to be my fault. Maybe Tony was right and I am gay? Maybe in some unknown way I asked to be raped again because I enjoyed it so much the first time. I was hard all the time the used me. That must mean that I liked what they did to me. Fucking me in the ass. Raping my body and mind. That must be it I really must have wanted this to happen to me again. I must have liked it. After all men don't get raped unless they are faggots. That's what dad said after the first time. That I had to be a fag in order to get raped. Now my relationship with Gibbs. That proves i'm a fag doesn't it. What have I done I somehow turned Gibbs into a queer? How though we never slept together until this? What did I do to turn him into this? How can I change him back? My dad was right I am better off dead. I ruined not only my life but Gibbs as well. Even my own family disowned me all but Sarah. I just hope she never finds out her brother is some kind of sick freak that turns strong straight men into queers. What is she going to think of me when she finds out. She's going to hate me just like dad does. I wish now that I had succeeded in killing myself it would save every one a whole lot of heartache and misery. Now what am I going to do? I'm useless. It's no wonder all my relationships have failed. Try as hard as I might still there is always something wrong with me. I don't deserve Gibbs or anyone. I will only hurt him, just like I did my father and every one else I have ever loved. All I ever wanted in my life was to love and be loved. To be a part of something. To maybe have a family, someone to spend the rest of my life with. Now look what I have done. Destroyed it all. When I finally get out of here I am going to resign and then disappear. With any luck maybe I can hide. Live my life alone like I was ment to do. I can't put anyone through this. I have to just leave and if I am lucky maybe I got some disease that will kill me quickly because its obvious that I can't do it right myself. What if they gave me HIV? Oh no! This is killing me. Why didn't they just let me die? Why didn't the men who did this kill me? It would have been so much kinder to have just slit my throat and tossed me in a dump like the piece of garbage that I am than to put me through this. I'm not even a man, i'm just garbage and should be treated like it. No one wants garbage around. Dad was right he should have killed me. Maybe I should just go see him and let him finish the job after I get out of here. I know he wouldn't hesitate to put me out of his misery. That's what I will do then. Gibbs and the team don't deserve to be shackled with a piece of worthless garbage like me.” Tim's last thoughts before sleep finally took him. His own self hatred and loathing feeding on each other till finally he slept and dreamed of the rape and even dreamed that they killed him in many ways. His mind tormented beyond belief. This was a nightmare that would never end.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 

Gibbs didn't know how long he slept but when he awoke he found Tim thrashing on the bed threatening to pull out the iv's and the monitoring equipment. Gibbs leaned over and began to whisper into McGee's ear. “I'm here Tim. Your safe and I am here for you. Take it easy or your going to hurt yourself. Please calm down.” Gibbs softly stroked Tim's hair and leaned down and kissed his lips tenderly. That seemed to calm the young man down. Just then the doctor rushed in.   
“What happened agent Gibbs?” The doctor asked.   
“ I think Tim was having a nightmare. This one was worse than any before doctor. I'm worried about him. His mind is having problems dealing with what happened to him. Is there anything we can do to ease his mind and maybe make the nightmares go away?” Gibbs asked worry in his voice evident.   
“ All I can do is give him a sedative agent Gibbs.”   
“Then by all means do it. He can't go on like this his mind is going to shatter. I just found him I can't lose him because of this.” Gibbs said the pleading evident in his voice.   
“All right I will send the nurse in with a sedative right away.” The doctor said as he left to get the sedative.  
When the doctor was gone Gibbs pulled out his cell phone and dialed Paul and Jeff's number. It seemed like forever before they answered.   
“ Gibbs whats wrong? Whats happened to Tim?” Jeff asked worry evident in his voice.  
“ McGee had a nightmare a really bad one this time. He almost pulled his IV's out and the monitoring equipment. I think he is losing it Jeff. I don't know what to do or say. I can't lose him. He is my life. My heart and soul. I don't know what I will do if I lose him but I can't seem to get through to him. He thinks I don't want him because of this and that the team and me would be better off with out him. He wants to die Jeff. I can't let that happen. He thinks that he would be better off if he had never been born or if his father had killed him after the first time this happened. What am I going to do? I need your help Jeff?” Gibbs cried. The pain inside him was tearing him apart. It hurt him to think that McGee didn't want him or that McGee thought that Gibbs didn't want him and that the team didn't want him.   
“Gibbs calm down me and Paul are on our way to the hospital. We will be there shortly and we can talk some more. Just keep him calm and quiet. Let him know that your there. Let him know that you still love him and want him.” Jeff said as he hung up and the two men bolted for the door. 

 

“This is not good Paul. Tim is reverting back to what he was just after the rape. The last time one of my patients did this he wound up killing himself and the man he loved. I am not going to let this happen again.” Jeff said. Punching the dashboard for emphasis.  
“ We are not going to let this happen. We're not going to let Tim self destruct. We need to make him understand that no matter what he is important to us all.”  
They arrived at the hospital and Jeff ran in while Paul parked the care. They were both directed to McGee's room and when they got their they found Gibbs standing outside the door, his head in his hands, his shoulders wracked with sobs.   
“Gibbs what happened whats going on? Why aren't you with Tim?” Jeff asked.  
“ He's gone Jeff. There was nothing I could do he just slipped away?” Gibbs sobbed.   
“What do you mean he's gone? He can't be gone?” Jeff screamed as Paul approached.   
“ He's slipped into a coma. They don't know if or when he will come out of it. They said his mind is trying to cope with whats happened to him and is shutting down to protect itself.” Gibbs said looking up into Jeff's and Paul's eye's. The tears flowing heavily down his cheeks. Gibbs never cried not even at Shannon and Kelly's funerals. That is until now. Gibbs pent up emotions were now coming out and the dam had burst.   
Paul led Gibbs and Jeff back into the room for a little privacy. As soon as they were inside the closed door Paul went to McGee's bedside and began to check him while Jeff wrapped his arms around a now frail looking Gibbs. The mans heart was torn out and there wasn't anything they could do. The only one that could heal him was now gone for the time being. Paul leaned down and whispered in Tim's ear, “ Tim it's me Paul. We need you. Gibbs needs you. Please come back to us. Your loved and wanted Tim. Please don't leave us. We love you Timothy McGee.” Paul softly kissed Tim's lips and then went back to Gibbs.   
“ Gibbs what we need to do know is talk to him. Even though he is in a coma he can still hear us. We need to make him know that we all love and care for him. Thats what he needs the most from us all including the team. But most of all he needs to hear it from you Gibbs.”   
“I'll do my best to get through to him. I can't lose him Paul.”  
“ I know Jethroe. But he is the one that needs to be convinced not me. Your going to have to spend a lot of time here letting him know how much you want and need him. You will get through to him that much I am certain of.”   
The three men talked some more and made plans so that there would be someone with McGee at all times. Talking to him, reading to him, just being there in case he should wake up. Gibbs excused himself to get some coffee and make a much needed phone call. 

 

“Vance its Gibbs. I wanted to let you know that McGee has slipped into a coma. We don't know for how long but I was hoping you could post a guard outside his door.” Gibbs said his voice thick with emotion.   
“I will do that Gibbs and Gibbs that boy of yours will get better. Thank you for letting me know.”   
“Your welcome and I will be letting the rest of the team know in the morning.”  
“Your coming into work Gibbs?” Vance asked.  
“Yes sir I think that they all need to hear this from me and I want you to know that Paul and Jeff will be staying with him while I am at work or when one of the team can't be here for him.” Gibbs told the Director.  
“ Ok then I will see you in the morning and Gibbs get some sleep.”   
“Yes sir I will.” Gibbs said as he hung up.  
I just pray I can sleep after all of this, Gibbs thought.  
Gibbs returned with not just one cup of coffee but three one for each of the men.   
Paul and Jeff both thanked him as they watched him settle in the chair next to the bed. Gibbs took Tim's hand in his and began to slowly stroke his hair. Gibbs started talking to his lover as the two men departed without being noticed.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Two months later:

Gibbs and the team still visited McGee's bedside daily. Mainly Gibbs, he still held out hope that McGee would return to him. That he could one day take the man he loved into his arms and make love to him. The way he wanted to and the way McGee deserved to be made love to. Each day Gibbs heart broke a little more and yet at the same time was filled more and more with his love for Tim. He sat talking to the young man, telling him of the teams cases and how much they missed him. He read to McGee anything and everything. That was something he would have never done for anyone else only Kelly would and did he do that for. He cried and cried. He went home late at night and dreamed of McGee beside him in bed holding him and he cried some more. He hugged a pillow tight each and every night and prayed that McGee would soon wake up. Gibbs worked on his boat only this time he named it after McGee. He wanted to take Tim out on it when he woke up. Gibbs barely rested and it was beginning to show. Even Leon had commented on him looking bad the other day. Told him that if he didn't get some rest he was going to have Ducky sedate him so he would sleep. Said “ Gibbs your no good to me if your exhausted and your mind is some where else.”  
Good to his word Leon did have Ducky sedate him so he would sleep. He knew that there was something going on between McGee and Gibbs and he knew how worried Gibbs was about him.   
“Leon I can't just sedate the man.” Ducky said horrified that Vance would even suggest it.  
“Dr. Mallard I know its not usual to do this but the man refuses to sleep and I don't need him collapsing from exhaustion. Since we are on the subject what is going on between Gibbs and McGee? Why is Gibbs there every night? Is he in love with McGee? Are they lovers Dr. Mallard?” Vance asked concern coloring his voice.   
Ducky's face betrayed him at Vance's last couple of questions. “ Alright Leon I will do as you ask. As for the rest of what you asked that is something that you need to ask Jethroe. I cannot and will not answer that.”   
“Thank you Dr. Mallard what you didn't say told me what I needed to know. Their secret is safe with me. I just want the poor man to get some rest. That's all. Now that I know the situation for myself I can help him and McGee. They are both good men and agents and I don't want to lose either one. Lets keep this between us.”   
“Thank you Leon. I will most certainly keep this between us.”  
“Dr. Mallard I have an idea. Why don't you give me the sedative in the correct dose and I will invite Gibbs to my home for dinner and I will slip it into his drink and that way he will never know that you had anything to do with it.” Leon suggested.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea Leon. I will let him know that I will stay with Timothy tonight and that he should go and have a good home cooked meal. He will trust me to stay with Timothy. Let me get it for you and we will put this plan in motion.” Ducky said with a smile on his face. He was worried about his friend as well and this would insure that Jethroe got a good nights sleep.   
What Ducky didn't realize was that Gibbs was so exhausted that the sedative was going to put him out for 3 days.   
Vance left to make the arraignments for that evening and to make sure Gibbs would have someplace to sleep. Walking through the bullpen Vance came up short when he saw how tired and worn Gibbs was looking. Shaking his head Leon quickly went up the stairs to make the arraignments.   
Gibbs had caught Vance watching him and wondered to himself, what was that all about. Gibbs went back to work on their latest case and lost himself in it. His phone ringing made him jump. Settling down he answered it, “ Gibbs!” he said a little tersely.  
“Gibbs I want you in my office in five minutes.” Leon said.  
Gibbs didn't answer just glared and walked up the stairs to Vance's office. Without stopping he just opened the door and walked in glaring the whole time.   
“Jethroe sit down we need to talk.”   
“Talk Leon.”  
“I want you to know that your secret is safe with me.”  
“What are you talking about Leon?”  
“I am talking about your relationship with McGee. I know all about it. Before you go off half cocked no one told me I figured it out. You've been miserable since that young man went into the coma. I have watched you struggle day after day to carry on like nothing has happened and that its not affecting you but we have all seen it. You wont do that young man any good if your dead on your feet and you wont do me any good either. I know how much you love him. I think we all do. I have never seen you worry so much about anyone since Shannon and Kelly. But you need to get some rest and my wife wanted me to invite you over for a good hot home cooked meal. Dr. Mallard said that it would do you good and that he would watch over young McGee himself tonight so you could get some hot good food in you. So what do you say. Will you come to my house for dinner tonight? You know my wife she will make me drag you if you say no.” Leon laughed.   
At first Gibbs was shocked that Leon knew about him and Tim but relaxed at the thought of a good hot home cooked meal. He did know Leon's wife and knew the woman would not take no for an answer so he agreed.   
“Good then its settled we leave from here and go to my place and you can tell me and the misses about your young man.”   
“Thank you Leon for understanding. Your right I do love Tim and I am no good to him like this. I could use a good meal after eating that dam hospital food for the past two months and more.” 

 

The day was finally finished and Gibbs was pleasantly surprised that he was famished and really looking forward to that home cooked meal. Before he left he went down and thanked Ducky for watching over Tim that night. He knew that his friend cared a great deal about McGee and would broke no arguments about him taking care of him this night. After thanking Ducky, Gibbs returned upstairs to find Leon waiting for him and the rest of the team already gone.   
Unbeknownst to Gibbs, Leon's plan was now in full swing. Leon asked Gibbs about how his and McGee's relationship had come about. They talked about work and other things as well as they rode to Vance's home. Upon arriving there Leon led the way into the house where he was greeted by his wife Leona. Leon poured drinks and they sat in the living room talking while they waited for dinner to be done. They talked some more during dinner. Gibbs told them about his and Tim's relationship and how it had happened that they both admitted their love for one another. Leona and Leon were both very supportive and comforting at the same time. Gibbs helped clear the table, but Leona wouldn't let him help with the dishes. Instead she shooed him back into the living room where Leon handed him another drink and they began to talk. Little did Gibbs know that his drink was laced with the sedative that Ducky had given Vance. It only took a few minutes before it set in and Gibbs was sound asleep. Leon pulled Gibbs feet up on the couch and covered him in a blanket. Smiling he went to help his wife with the dishes.   
“How is he?” Leona asked as Leon entered the kitchen.  
“ He is sleeping like a baby. I think he will sleep all night long. He really needed this and thank you.” Leon said as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her warmly.   
“Wow if this is the thanks I get I should do this more often.” She said kissing him back feeling his hardness against her.  
“Well maybe that can be arraigned.” Leon laughed.   
“ I was thinking how nice it is that Leroy finally found someone to love and to love him. At the same time how tragic its all been for them both.” She said sorrow creeping into her voice as she tried to contain the tears that threatened to spill. Her heart ached for the two tragic lovers. Hearts full of love and yet fate keeps them apart. Reminding her of a Shakespeare tragedy. Leon held her close as they lost themselves in thought. Finally Leon broke the embrace.   
“Why don't we go to bed honey?”   
“I think I would like that. But I want to check on Leroy before we go up and make sure he is okay.”   
“Fine I will meet you upstairs.” Leon kissed her one more time and left to go upstairs.   
Leona walked out to the living room and knelt down and brushed the hair from Jethroe's forehead. Leaning down to kiss his forehead she whispered “ It's going to be alright Jethroe. He's going to come back to you and soon. I just know it. He loves you and he cant stand to be away from you for to long. His heart and soul are pure and filled with his love for you. Just have faith and hope he will be back with you soon. Rest easy for tonight. For tomorrow is full of hope,love, and surprises. Good night Jethroe and dream sweet dreams of the man you love and that loves you.” Leona quietly rose and headed upstairs to the man she loved with all her heart. That night they made love like they hadn't made love since they were first married. Sated they both fell asleep.  
The next morning Leon got up expecting Gibbs to be up and angry, but what he found was a Gibbs still passed out. Laughing he entered the kitchen to grab the cup of coffee from Leona.   
“What's so funny Leon?”  
“Gibbs. I thought he would be up by now and madder than a hornet. But he is still asleep. He must have been more exhausted than we thought. I will have Dr. Mallard come by and check on him this evening.”   
“ You better Leon I don't want that poor man dying because of this.” She grinned.  
They both burst out laughing. After awhile Leon finished breakfast and headed out the door to work. Wondering how he was going to tell Gibbs team that they man was out like a light.   
Stepping to the door he turned and kissed his wife and as a last thought he said, “ Will he be okay on the couch till he wakes up?”  
“He will be fine. Now get your but to work.” She chided.  
Vance left and drove to the office. Once he got there he went to his office and called Tony and Ziva up to his office.  
“DiNozzo and David. I wanted to let you know personally that agent Gibbs will not be in today and that if you both like you can take some personal time and take the day off as well. Maybe go and visit McGee?” Vance said a grin coming to his lips.   
“Director Vance is something wrong with Gibbs?” Ziva asked.  
“ No agent David there is nothing wrong with Gibbs he is just asleep on my couch at home.” Vance said his grin getting wider by the second.  
“ I don't mean to be rude Director Vance, but what is he doing sleeping on your couch?” Tony asked worried.   
“DiNozzo if you must know me and Dr. Mallard decided that Gibbs needed some much needed rest so I invited him over for dinner and I spiked his drink?” Leon said grinning from ear to ear as he looked at the two agents shocked faces. It was all Leon could do to keep from laughing out loud.  
“You did what!!!!?” They both said in unison.  
“I spiked his drink. He needed the rest and we both knew he would and wasn't getting any so I gave him some help. He is sleeping like a baby.” Leon laughed.   
Ziva was the first to regain her composure. “ We all knew he wasn't sleeping and that he spent almost every night at McGee's bedside. He's been grumpy and irritable, he doesn't eat. He's been really upset. I have never seen him like this. Not even when a woman was involved. I don't understand.....” Just as she was about to finish it dawned on her why Gibbs was acting the way he was and why he had been so protective of McGee.   
She stopped in mid sentence and just stood there gaping at Vance.

 

“Ziva what were you going to say. What don't you understand about Gibbs behavior?” Tony asked.   
Finally Ziva snapped out of it and looked at Tony. “DiNozzo are you really that thick that you can't figure it out for yourself?” Ziva asked watching as Tony shook his head.  
“ I don't get it what are you guys talking about?”   
“Well Tony if you can't get it I will have to explain it to you over that lunch you were going to buy me.” Ziva said.   
Tony still looked lost as Ziva took him by the arm and lead him away.   
They heard Vance laughing as they headed down the stairs on their way out the door for a pleasant day of leisure. After they left Vance called down and asked Ducky to come to his office. Arriving at Vance's office Ducky was waved in.  
“Dr. Mallard I have need of your services tonight at my home.”Vance said as he shook Ducky's hand.  
“Why on earth do you need my services at your home Sir. Do you have a dead body there or something.”   
“Well you might say that I do at least dead to the world. That sedative you gave me for agent Gibbs worked a little to well he was still asleep when I left for work this morning?” Vance said grinning.   
“Oh My! I guess I will stop by. You don't think Jethroe will still be sleeping when I get there do you?”   
“He might just be Dr. Mallard besides my wife would love to have you for dinner. Even if it is to make sure Gibbs didn't die on our couch.” Vance said laughing.   
“Before you go. I wanted to thank you for letting me know about Gibbs and McGee's situation. My wife thinks they will make the cutest couple. Any way thank you for looking out for them both. I know that they mean a lot to you.”   
“That they do Director and I know that even though he may not say it but Jethroe does appreciate all that you have done for him and for Timothy. I take it their relationship won't be a problem then?”   
“Not for me or the agency cause what the agency don't know won't hurt it. Now the team that could be another story?”  
“I get it you mean Anthony.”  
“Well him and Abby. I am not sure how they will react. Ziva is going to tell DiNozzo over lunch. I just have to find a way to tell Abby.”  
“Director let me tell her. I think it would soften the blow and I think she would take it better from me.” Ducky said.  
“Dr.Mallard I think thats a brilliant idea.” Vance said as Ducky was turning to leave. 

 

Ziva and Tony arrived at the restaurant and were seated as a secluded table.   
“Okay Ziva spill it. What the hell is going on with Gibbs and McGook?” Tony asked.  
“Well Tony if you must know they are in love. Gibbs loves Tim very much.” Ziva said as a matter of fact.   
Tony sat there with his mouth hanging open and his jaw on the floor. Suddenly he started grinning. “You got me Ziva. I almost fell for that one. Gibbs in love with McGeek. Now thats funny.” Tony said laughing. He laughed until he saw the look of anger on Ziva's face.   
“Tony I do not think it's funny, that the man Gibbs' loves is laying in a coma and your here making jokes about it. I don't know what you find funny but to me its not. I think of Tim as the brother I wish I had but didn't.” Ziva said the anger in her voice evident.   
“I'm sorry Ziva but I thought you were pulling a prank on me. You mean that Gibbs, our Gibbs, straight as an arrow is in love with McGee?”  
“I am afraid so Tony and if you can't handle it and live with it and their relationship without making problems then I suggest you pack your bags and go to another team.”   
“ I can't believe it right under my nose. Gibbs and McGee lovers. When the hell did this happen?” Tony asked no one but himself.   
“Tony your a good investigator. I am sure you can figure it out.”   
“This all happened after McGee's …..well you know. That's why Gibbs was so protective of the Probie. I can't believe I missed it.”  
“Tony it started long before that. They have loved each other probably since the first time they met. They just were to afraid to show it to each other and to let the other know how they felt. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. Didn't you notice the way Gibbs watched over Tim. How he did his best to make him feel like he was part of the team?”   
“Now that you mention it, I guess I did. I just didn't think anything of it.”   
“That's how Gibbs wants it. He doesn't want to treat Tim any different than he treats either of us. But he also doesn't want us to treat them different them either. It would hurt them both if we did. For Gibbs we are the only family besides Tim that he has. Tim is pretty much the same as well. So promise me here and now that your not going to treat either one of them differently. I just don't want you harassing Tim about their sex life or anything to do with their private lives. They mustn't know that we know. When they are ready to tell us they will. So you have to promise me you won't let on that you know.” Ziva asked.  
“I promise Ziva I won't.” Tony conceded. “ I just can't get over it straight as an arrow Gibbs in love with plain ole McGee. Me I could understand but McGoo I just can't figure that one out.” 

 

They continued to eat only this time in silence. Each one lost in his or her thoughts. 

Back at NCIS headquarters a similar scene was taking place. 

“Abigail I need to have a word with you if you don't mind.” Ducky said as he entered the lab.  
“Sure Duckman what can I do for you?” Abby said grinning.   
“ I want you to sit down I have some news I need to tell you and I don't want to have to try and pick you up off the floor.”   
Abby pulled up a chair and sat down. “ Okay I'm sitting what is it that you wanted to tell me Ducky?”  
“Abigail you know that Timothy is in the hospital and what has happened to him right?”   
“Yes I know he was raped, sodomized, tortured beaten and left for dead. I know that he also tried to kill himself when that he saw that video on the net.” Abby replied concern in her voice.  
“ Well Abigail there is a little more to it than that, I'm afraid. You know that Jethroe has been taking care of Timothy since the accident but do you know why?”  
“Sure Ducky I know why. It's because he loves him, just like we all do. There is nothing special about that is there?”  
“Well Abby its a bit more complicated than that. Your right Jethroe does love him just not in the same way we do. Do you understand what I am trying to say to you?” Ducky quizzed.  
“Yea I do but like I said Gibbs loves Tim...........” just as she was about to finish that statement it hit her. “ You mean that Gibbs is in love with my Timmy?”   
“Yes Abigail he is and Timothy loves him just as much.”  
“NO! He can't love McGee. Gibbs isn't gay and neither is Tim. I should know” She screamed.  
“Abby,” Ducky said wrapping his arms around the young woman, “ Just because they love each other doesn't mean their homosexuals. It means that they love each other and they just happen to both be men. There is nothing wrong with that. They don't lust after other men just lust and love each other. They don't want another man, they just want each other.”   
“But Gibbs and McGee!”   
“Abby your going to have to accept the fact that they love whom they love.”   
“But they should have told me. Why is it I am the last to know?” She scolded.  
“Abby my dear no one but me knew up until Tim's rape. Even they themselves didn't know and wouldn't accept it till I forced them to. Otherwise they would have been dancing around each other and their chance for love would have been gone. Lost forever.” 

They continued to talk some more until finally Abby admitted “ I guess I do have to accept the fact they love each other and there is nothing I can do about it.”   
“That's my girl. Also Abby we can't treat them any different. When they are ready to tell us they will tell us but until then no questions about their private lives. No joking or hinting. Gibbs and McGee are very private men but when they tell us I plan on throwing them a big surprise coming out party. What do you say you and me plan it?”   
“I think I can handle that and I would love to give them a surprise party.” Abby giggled. 

Later that same day at the hospital:

 

Paul walked in to check on his favorite patient. When he entered the room their was silence and as he approached the bed he did a double take. He immediately pulled out his phone and dialed Jeff. Jeff rushed to the hospital and burst through the door.  
All it took was one look and Jeff was on the phone. He tried and tried Gibbs and then he tried Vances' number. It rang a few times before Leon answered.   
“Vance here what can I do for you Jeff?” Leon asked.  
“Leon you need to come to the hospital right away there is a problem with McGee. I can't and won't discuss this over the phone. Just please hurry and if you can find him you need to bring Gibbs.” Jeff's voice was urgent as he hung up on Leon.  
Leon couldn't figure out what was going on but he raced out of the office and headed for his place to see if Gibbs was awake yet and if he was take him to the hospital.   
Next Jeff called Ducky “ Dr. Mallard I need you to come to the hospital as fast as possible there is a problem with Tim. Come quick and don't ask questions till you get here.”   
Ducky grabbed his coat and his phone and headed out the door. He knew he had to call Tony and Ziva. Pulling on his coat he quickly dialed Ziva's number.   
“Ziva this is Ducky. Don't ask questions just listen there is something wrong with Timothy I am headed to the hospital and I think you and Tony should join me there I am bringing Abby and Palmer with me. Just hurry.” He said slamming the phone shut as he entered the lab to get Abby and Palmer.  
“Abby and Mr. Palmer grab your coats and come with me. Something is terribly wrong with our Timothy and we are needed at the hospital. Don't argue or question just come along” Ducky said hurrying them along.   
The three of them raced out of the building behind Vance and headed for the hospital.   
They all arrived just minutes after each other and headed to McGee's room. The only one not present was Gibbs.   
“Director Vance where is Gibbs?” Jeff asked blocking entrance to McGee's room.  
“Unfortunately he is still out cold from the sedative I gave him. Now whats going on in there?” Vance asked the question they were all wondering.

“Before you all go in I have to warn you that what your about to see is not very pretty. But I need you all to remain calm and quiet. Can you all do that for me?” Jeff asked the expression on his face serious.  
They all nodded in agreement. Jeff moved aside and they all quietly entered McGees room. Each one having very different expectations, and yet not knowing what to expect. 

 

Two days later: 

Gibbs finally woke up on Vances couch to the smell of the best smelling coffee he had ever had the pleasure of smelling. Walking into the kitchen he saw Leona and Leon standing there kissing.   
They both suddenly felt as if they were being watched and turned to see Gibbs standing there in his rumpled clothes.   
“Good morning sunshine. Can I get you a cup of coffee?” Vance asked chuckling.   
“You look like hell Gibbs.”  
“ I feel like hell at least I will till I have some of the wonderful coffee I smell. How long did I sleep?” Gibbs grumbled.  
“You have been asleep for three whole glorious days Gibbs.” Vance chuckled.  
“Stop teasing the man.” Leona said.  
“After I finish this I need to go home and shower before I head to work.” Gibbs said to no one in particular.  
“ I will drive you home Gibbs. We have to go to the hospital afterward. And I can't trust you to be able to drive once we get there.” Vance said in all seriousness.  
“Fine but why do we need to go to the hospital? Has something happened to Tim? What aren't you telling me Leon?” Gibbs voice starting to show the anger he was begging to feel.  
“ Look Gibbs you need to calm down. Let me take you to your place and then I will take you to the hospital. Finish your coffee and lets get going.” Vance said barely able to hid a stupid grin.  
“Fine” Gibbs said downing the last of his coffee. “Thank you for your hospitality and your couch Mrs. Vance.” Gibbs said a little stiffly.  
The two men left for Gibbs home and rode in silence all the way there.   
Gibbs raced up the stairs and stripped once he got to the bedroom. Jumping in the shower he quickly showered, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and dressed. Practically pulling Leon with him out the door to head to the hospital.  
Leon drove as fast as he dared, while Gibbs stared out the window. They pulled up to the hospital and before Leon could stop the car Gibbs was out the door and racing to Tim's room.

As Gibbs approached Tim's room his heart sank as he saw them removing the monitoring equipment as well as the rest of the equipment. He knew in his heart that Tim was gone and he didn't even get to tell the man he loved goodbye. As he approached the door to Tim's room the tears began to fall and Gibbs heart broke even more than it already had. He vowed to himself that when he caught these bastards he was going to make them pay and pay dearly. He prayed that he would be able to live long enough to avenge his lover. As he got to Tim's door and stood inside of it his knee's buckled and his tears flowed like never before. His heart on the floor shattered and torn apart he screamed at the top of his lungs “ NO! NO! He cant be gone. My God why did he have to die? ” he cried and fell into a sobbing mass as the nurses and doctors ran to help him.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

 

Flashback:

 

Gibbs raced down the hall to McGee's room. As he approached he noticed they were removing all the life support equipment, the heart monitor, and the brain activity monitors.   
“He's awake!!!!” Gibbs thought to himself. Rushing to the door he saw a sheet covered body laying were McGee should have been . Gibbs wail of anguish could be heard all over the hospital. Sinking to his knees he screamed, “ NO!NO! He cant be gone. God No not now not after all we have been through. I just found him. I can't lose him. He can't be dead. He didn't have permission to die!”   
His eyes filled with unshed tears. They began to fall as his emotions got the better of him. All his strength gone now realizing the man he loved was gone. Sitting there in the doorway just inside McGee's room, tears flowing down his face he whispered quietly “ I can't go on without him. What am I supposed to do now? I never thought that I would ever hurt this much or feel this kind of pain again. After Shannon and Kelly I thought I could never hurt like this again.. Why? Why? Why did he have to die and leave me alone in this world with nothing left but a shattered and broken heart. I have nothing left to live for now he is gone.”   
An orderly who was standing in the shadows heard Gibbs quiet proclamation and slipped past him to get the doctor.   
When they returned they found Gibbs curled up on the floor not moving and non- responsive. 

The orderly had told the doctor what Gibbs had said. Fearing for the man's life and sanity he decided to put him in the Psyc. Ward to keep an I on him and make sure he didn't try to hurt himself. The doctor left and called for help and got a sedative to make sure Gibbs didn't fight them. Little did they know that all the fight had gone out of the man. Heading back to Gibbs, armed with a sedative the doctor leaned down and spoke to Gibbs once again when he didn't respond the doctor gave him the sedative and as the drug took effect Gibbs just laid there and went to sleep. The people from the psyc unit came and took him away.

 

END OF FLASHBACK: 

When they all arrived at the hospital they all heard the news. As they were talking amongst themselves they heard Gibbs cry of anguish. A nurse was passing by and Vance stopped him.  
“What the hell was that?” Vance asked him.  
“ That was a relative of a man who died upstairs. He took it hard. Real hard. He threatened to kill himself so they sedated him and took him to the psyc. Ward for observation.” the young man said as he continued on his way.  
They continued to talk, while they waited on Gibbs so they could break the news to him about McGee. Just how they were going to do that they didn't know yet.   
“Director Vance I thought you said Gibbs was on his way here? Shouldn't he be here by now?” Ziva asked.  
“Yes he should be. I wonder where he is and what is taking him so long?” Vance asked.  
“Let me try and call him.” Ducky volunteered.  
Ducky dialed Gibbs number and got no answer. “Huh thats strange. I've never known Gibbs to not pick up when I have called him.”  
They all began to worry about him and wondered if he had done something really totally out of character. It wasn't like him to not be here at a time like this. They all knew that after all the two men went through this was going to be a really knockout blow. They knew how much the two men meant to each other. The pain and hurt that Gibbs was going through was like nothing any of them had ever felt.   
Vance walked down the hall and called his wife.   
“Honey I was wondering if Gibbs had come back to the house after I left?”   
“No, Leon he hasn't been back and why are you asking me that? I thought he was at the hospital with you and the rest of the agents and team?”   
“We did to but we can't find him and he isn't answering his phone. I just thought maybe he had forgotten something and come back to the house to get it is all.”   
“No, but if he does show up for some reason I will let you know and make sure he gets to the hospital.” 

 

“Thanks honey. I love you and will see you in a bit.” Vance said hanging up the phone.  
Walking back the rest of the team Vance shook his head. Suddenly an idea popped into his head.   
“Ziva and Tony I want you to take Abby and go to Gibbs house. Make sure he isn't there and if he is get his ass to the hospital. I want you to make sure he didn't go back to his place and fall asleep again. While your doing that I will check with the local LEO's and make sure he wasn't picked up or in an accident. Doctor Mallard I would like you to call the hospitals and make sure he isn't in one of them as a patient. Now go.”   
Paul and Jeff stood watching and noticing how these people, Gibbs and McGee's friends and co-workers pulled together to get Gibbs back here. They both were a little perplexed as to why Gibbs wasn't here. They began to make calls of their own to try and help find him.   
Mean while upstairs in the ward. Gibbs was sleeping the best sleep he had ever had. He dreamed that McGee was still alive and that they lived together. That they made love every night. Gibbs tears fell from his eyes and he never knew it. His heart ached, but when he slept and dreamed of his lost love, his heart was filled with love. He wanted and dreamed of nothing more than holding Tim in his arms. Feeling the younger mans lips pressed against his own. Loving the feeling of Tim's arms around him. He longed to feel Tim inside of him and himself inside of Tim. To Gibbs there was no greater love than that.   
Gibbs dreamed of a time when he would be with him again, to hold him, to love him, to make love to him, like he has never been made love to and never would be again. To wash the slate clean and to know and let Tim know he was loved and wanted more than anything. He wanted to feel and have all the love that Tim could show and give. He knew that he wasn't worthy of Tim's love but thats all he wanted and now he couldn't have it, wouldn't have it. All that love gone. His beautiful Timothy gone. He would never again know his touch, his kiss, his love, his strength, his understanding. He would never again see his smile, his beautiful green eyes, his lean body that made Gibbs drool every time he saw his young lover. He would never again know his touch, never know what it was like to make love to him, to touch him, to hold him, to be made love to by him, to kiss him again, to feel him inside of him or be inside of Tim.   
Just like Shannon and Kelly he was gone in an instant. He dreamed of the three of them waiting for him. Knowing that they all loved him and missed him. He cried as he slept his tears flowing down his cheeks as his body was wracked with sobs. Sobs his lover would never hear, never be able to comfort him again for. “Why did the only man he ever truly loved have to die? Leaving him alone to suffer like never before. Why?”

Gibbs agony was almost palatable. It drifted off of him like waves hitting the beach. His cries could be heard through the door. No one came. That is until a certain 

orderly walked by. Walking up to the desk Jonas asked the nurse, “Who is doing all that moaning and crying? It feels like death is walking the halls.”  
“It's a new patient they brought up from ICU. They said his lover died today and that when he found out he just collapsed. One of the orderly's there had heard him threaten to kill himself so he could be with his lover.” the nurse smirked. “ Fags, go figure. I think they should all just die. That way there would be more room for decent people in this world.”   
Reaching across the desk, Jason grabbed her by her shirt and brought his face close to hers and said, “ If I ever hear you say something like that again about any one I will personally snap you neck do you hear me!”   
“ I hear you I won't say that or anything like it again Jason. I'm sorry. I didn't know you were gay.”, she said her face as white as sheet.  
“I'm not but my brother was and he died of AIDS and I have and had a deep respect for my brother and his sacrifice to this country. It was his commanding officer that gave it to him. Before you ask no they weren't lovers. He raped my brother repeatedly one night. His commander had been out fucking prostitutes and one had given it to him so he decided to give to my brother since he was a fag. I …. well let's say he will never do that again.” Jason said rage coloring his face. Turning on his heel he walked back to Gibbs room and went in to check on the man. Walking in the door he saw how Gibbs was struggling in the bed even though he was asleep.   
Jason walked over and began to brush the hair from Gibbs forehead and began to talk to him in a soothing voice. Jason sat next to Gibb's bed and stroked his hair which seemed to calm the older man down.  
“Tim is that you, Tim.” Gibbs mumbled in his sleep.   
“It me, I'm here for you.”   
“Tim don't leave me again please don't leave me. I couldn't take it if you left me again. Please don't go Tim.” Gibbs pleaded in his dream.   
“I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere.” Jason whispered trying to comfort the sleeping man. The more he looked at Gibbs the more he realized how handsome the older man was. He had told the nurse he wasn't gay but that wasn't the complete truth. He wasn't completely gay but he did like men, but only certain kinds of men attracted him. One that did was Gibbs. Without thinking Jason leaned over and softly kissed Gibbs lips.   
Gibbs responded and kissed the younger man back. “Hold me Tim please,” Gibbs begged. Jason wrapped his arms around the stranger as best as he could. Gibbs couldn't hold him back because of the restraints. When Jason released him Gibbs smiled.   
Jason thought to himself, “ All he wants is some kindness and gentleness. His lover must have been a very special man to capture your heart. I wish that I could have what the two of you must have had. I would cherish every minute of everyday just to be with someone like the two of you.” Sorrow colored Jasons thoughts. He knew that no one would want him. Not after what had been done to him.   
That didn't kill Jason's desire to be loved, to be held, to be kissed, and most importantly to be wanted. Jason had tried many times to be with a man and every time he ended up huddled in the corner screaming at the man to not touch him. No matter how intimate they had been before they tried to sleep he always woke up screaming.   
His body had recovered from the rape but not his mind. It still haunted him night and day. There were times he couldn't come to work because the terror's from the night before had crippled him and he huddled in the corner all day finally falling asleep in a ball. Just being here and listening to Gibbs made his heart ache and his body long to just be held again. Jason's eyes stung and he reached up to wipe at them, still holding Gibbs hand, he noticed that the hand came away wet. He was crying and it had been a long time since he was able to do that. He leaned down and kissed Gibbs hand and then his lips. Gibbs tightened his grip on Jason's hand when he tried to leave. Jason knew that if they needed him they would come and get him and right now he had a patient that needed him even more.   
Gibbs began to talk in his sleep. He told Jason about how much he loved Tim. How he couldn't wait to make love to him, to hold him, to be with him and spend time with him.   
Gibbs dreams turned sexual as soon as Jason kissed him. Gibbs began to undress Tim in his mind and make love to him. He kissed Tim's lips relishing their softness. Holding him tight he began to nibble and lick his neck and throat. Tim's moan in Gibbs mind told him he was doing something right. He continued to kiss and lick Tim's body, moving slowly downward. Tim ran his fingers through Gibbs hair encouraging the older man to continue. Gibbs heart raced as he moved down the center of Tim's chest and across to the already erect nipple waiting there to be fondled and sucked, even bitten. Gibbs moved his tongue over Tim's already erect nipple causing the young man to groan in pleasure. Gibbs began to circle the hard nub and occasionally bite the sensitive flesh. Gibbs began to bite a little harder each time causing Tim's body to rise up off the bed and his moans became louder spurring Gibbs on. While he tortured one of Tim's nipples he began to nead the other and grind their leaking cocks together. As Gibbs worked Tim's nipples he slipped his hand down to the younger man's cock and began to massage it. Running his finger over the head caused McGee to raise up off the bed and scream as his first of many orgasm shook his body hard. Gibbs relished the feel of the younger mans seed on his body lubricating them both. Tim's cock remained hard and never lost its erection. Tim could feel the hot cum as it spurted between their already over heated bodies but he didn't care all he cared about was making sure Gibbs didn't stop hi ministrations.   
Gibbs continued to move done McGees body licking and tasting the young man, until he finally reached his prize. One of them at least. He began by licking the cum from McGee's body tasting his lover for the first time. Scooping up some of the still hot cum he brought it to McGee's lips. Parting his lips McGee's tongue snaked out and began to lick his own seed from Gibbs fingers. When he was done Gibbs looked Tim in the eye and ran his tongue through the cum still on his chest and stomach. 

Gibbs then moved up and kissed Tim so they both could taste him at the same time. Tim wrapped his arms around Jethroe and held him in place while they kissed. Moving his lips to his lovers ear and throat. Tim began his own ministrations on Gibbs. It was Gibbs turn to moan as his lovers hands moved over his body and down to his very sumptuous ass. Where Tim soon hoped to have his cock planted deep inside his lovers body. Gibbs brought Tim back to reality when he once again took control and moved his lips to Tim's in a passionate kiss. Tim cupped Jethroes ass in his hands as he began to slowly explore his ass and ran his hands up and down the crevice. Tim's fingers carefully slipped over Jethroes sensitive hole causing the older man to moan into his mouth. Jethroe pulled back and looked into Tim's eyes. “ That felt good Tim please don't stop.”   
Tim just kissed him and continued to stroke his hole. Gibbs felt like he was being touched by an angel. The love he was feeling from Tim overwhelmed him. It was like what he would imagine being in the arms of an angel would feel like. The dream shifted and Gibbs unconscious mind realized that now Tim instead of feeling like an angel he was one. He no longer was with Gibbs. The walls that the older man had built in his heart Tim had melted without even trying. The love that they shared and that Tim offered had slowly melted Gibbs cold heart. Allowing him to finally love and be loved. He didn't know when those walls came down he just knew they had and now that was all gone. Tim was gone. The man who held his heart he would never hold in his arms again, never kiss again, never see his smile, his beautiful eyes, never feel his love for him again. It was all gone. Tim was gone. Gibbs cried out in his mind as he watched his angel Tim disappear without him, No! Tim Don't go don't leave me here all alone. Please take me with you. Please! He begged. Nothing was ever going to be the same for Gibbs. The people he loved the most were gone. He wept. His tears seen only by Jason as the younger man sat and held his hand, and brushed his hair from his forehead.   
Jason watched as the man in front of him cried in his sleep. Wondering what torment the handsome man was going through. Without realizing it Jason's own tears fell. The loneliness he felt at the loss of his brother and his lover returned to haunt him as he watched Gibbs tears fall like rain.   
Both men wanted and needed comfort and most of all love. Jason leaned down and placed his head carefully on Gibbs chest, feeling the rise and fall of his chest. Hearing the heartbreaking sobs that quietly wracked his body. The emotions that overcame Jason and Gibbs quieted and both men fell asleep tears drying on their cheeks.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

 

The rest of the team had left the hospital still wondering where Gibbs was. He still wasn't answering his phone and Vance had even called Fornell in to see if he could help find Gibbs. Fornell had tried all of Gibbs regular hang outs but wasn't successful. They put our a BOLO on him and hadn't heard anything on it yet.   
When they got back to NCIS they had a bunch of reports to finish so Ziva and Tony began to work on them.   
Ziva jumped up and headed down to Abby's lab to update her on what had happened. When she got there Abby was knee deep in work.   
“Hey Abby. I thought you might want to know that Gibbs has disappeared and we can't seem to find him anywhere. You heard about Tim right?”   
“I heard about Tim. I'm just surprised that Gibbs wasn't there when it happened. You would think he would want to be for that. I just don't know whats gotten into him lately. We all know how he feels about Timmy but sometimes he just seems to be so cold and heartless to him. I mean, don't take me wrong, I love Gibbs but sometimes its like he doesn't care about Tim. Even though I know he loves him more than he has loved anyone but Shannon and Kelly that is.”   
“We have a BOLO out on him and asked the LEO's to keep an eye out for his car. Right now thats all we can do. I just wish I knew what happened to him is all.”   
Just as Abby was about to say something her phone and Ziva's rang.  
“Ziva get up here right away and bring Abby.” Tony demanded hanging up on the two women.   
Ziva and Abby rushed up the stairs not taking the time to wait on the elevator. Burst into the bullpen just as Vance was coming down the stairs and Ducky and Palmer were exiting the elevator.   
“I just got word that Gibbs car was found at the hospital but there was no sign of him. The only conclusion I can draw from this is that someone has taken Gibbs or that for some unknown reason he just disappeared. We need to get ahold of Mike and see if he went to Mexico for some reason and if not get him up here to help locate Gibbs. If anyone can find that man its Mike.” Vance said.  
“Director Vance I might be able to help. I know of a few places Jethroe might go if he is upset as much as I think he is about Tim.” Ducky suggested.  
“Go then and check them out.” Vance said.  
“The rest of you I want you to finish those reports and if anything, anything at all comes to mind let me know.”  
They returned to work but got very little done. They were worried about Gibbs. They knew that what had happened to Tim had hit him hard. They knew that being the man he was he wouldn't let his feeling out.   
They knew something bad had happened they could just feel it in their bones. Yet what they didn't know. Had someone kidnapped him and if so who, why, and when. What purpose could they have for getting him out of the way. Was he to close to catching the men that did that to McGee? Was it someone who wanted to punish him and make him hurt? Why Gibbs and why now?   
They were both lost in their own thoughts when suddenly it hit Ziva.   
“ I think I know where Gibbs might have went.” She yelled.   
She quickly picked up the phone and dialed Gibbs dad's number.   
“Hello Mr. Gibbs this is Ziva David. I was wondering if you had heard from your son or seen him lately?”   
“No Ziva I haven't seen or talked to him since he called me and told me about himself and young McGee. Why is something wrong?”   
“ No sir. It's just...... well he seems to be missing and I thought he might have come to see you or at least talk to you so I thought you might know where he might be.”   
“I'm sorry Ziva but I haven't seen or heard from him since then. When you see him would you let him know that I think that young McGee is the right person for him. Tell him I love them both and expect to see them both for the holidays.”   
“I will tell him sir. Thank you very much. I know they both will be pleased.” Ziva said hanging up the phone. She didn't have the heart to tell him what had happened to Tim. She knew it would only serve to break his heart and worry him about Jethroe. She knew how much McGee meant to Gibb's dad. He had watched his son change and he knew that McGee was the reason. They would sooner or later have to tell him. She knew how much he cared about Tim and Jethroe. It seemed that for a long time McGee was and has been the only one Gibbs took home to meet his father. That meant a lot to the old man. Gibbs had closed himself off and Tim had shown him the way to open himself back up. He loved McGee for that, because this young man had done what no one else had been able to do for his son. And for that he loved Tim. Jackson Gibbs thought highly of Tim and Ziva couldn't bare to hurt him any more. After all the man had lost his son and the man that his son loved. Even though Jackson didn't know all of this. Ziva knew the kind of hurt that this would inflict on the gentle man.   
All of their emotions were in turmoil because of this. Even Tony was quiet. She knew how much he loved and cared about McGee and even Gibbs though he wouldn't admit it. Tony knew how much she loved Gibbs and how she felt like McGee was a brother that she never had. They both were hurting over this and they both wanted to bring these monsters in and if Vance would let her she would show them what pain and humiliation was all about. She would enjoy making these bastards suffer, for what they had done to her brother, her Tim. Not only what they did to him but to Gibbs. She had seen how tender and loving Gibbs had become with Tim and vice versa. She know how much Tim loved Gibbs and now that was all over. The pain and anger welled up inside her as her emotions and heart were tormented over this.   
Meanwhile Tony was on the phone to Mike Franks in Mexico.

 

“Mike this is special agent DiNozzo. I don't know if you remember me or not but I am one of Gibbs people and we/he needs your help. We think he might have been kidnapped. We need your help finding him. Director Vance is the one that said I should call you and get your help.”   
“Son what the hell has Probie gotten himself into?”Franks asked.  
“ Well sir its mostly a private matter and I won't discuss it on an unsecured line, besided it would be better that you hear it in person and see whats been going on than for me to tell you.”   
“ Alright son I will come and help you find that Probie of mine. But when I get there I expect a full briefing on the situation. I see you soon.” Mike said hanging up on Tony. Wondering to himself what the hell Gibbs had gotten himself into. Dam fool.   
Gibbs had alluded to having someone new in his life maybe she had gotten him into some kind of trouble it wouldn't be the first time something like this had happened.   
He began to pack what little he would need for his trip back into the states and called his wing man to be ready to go in an hour. Telling him that he was needed back in the states to help an old friend. If Gibbs had went to ground then he had a pretty good idea where to start looking. It was the one place no one would ever think to look. The last time Probie had went missing this is where he found him. Lost, alone, and beating himself up. Maybe just maybe the lady friend of his had hurt him bad enough to go back there. The place was not for the faint of heart. Mike knew this is where Gibbs would go when he was hurting this bad. He knew the Gunny could take care of himself yet even he needed help sometimes. If it was, as that young pup of an agent DiNozzo suspected, that Gibbs was kidnapped then maybe this new love of his was behind it or a case they were working on went sour. He would find out and take the appropriate action. In just a few hours he would find out what the hell was going on and find his Probie.   
As soon as Mike landed he was meant by an NCIS escort to take him to headquarters. Mike didn't like it but he accepted it any way. Once there he was led to a conference room, where Gibbs team was waiting for him along with Vance.  
“Thanks for coming Mike. I know we have had our differences but this situation requires your special touch. If you get my meaning?” Vance informed him.  
They all knew what he meant. The one thing that bothered Mike was the absence of one of the team. But he kept quiet, figuring he would find out about him later.   
“Why do you think this needs my special touch Leon?”   
“After you see what we are about to show you I will explain. But first watch this.”  
Leon asked.   
Mike watched in horror at what was done to McGee and several other men. After Leon turned off the screen Mike shook his head. Anger coloring his voice as he asked, “ Do you know who that poor bastard was in that first video?”  
“As a matter of fact we do. Thats the problem and one of the reasons we need your help. We all know him and unfortunately so do you Mike.” Leon said quietly.

“Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like what I am about tho hear Leon. Why does this involve NCIS? Isn't this something the locals should be handling? Why isn't that hotshot computer geek of yours here? Seems like he is missing this briefing.” The rage at what was done to these men was boiling up inside Mike and he was ready to explode. He was afraid of the answer he was going to get from Leon. Already deep down knowing what it was going to be but he wanted and needed to hear it from Leon.  
“The young man your refered to as our computer geek, is Agent Timothy McGee. As for the reason he isn't here is because the first victim that you saw was in fact him. He was laying in the hospital up until yesterday. Now he is gone. We lost him Mike. What these animals did to him drove him over the edge. He saw this and decided to end his life. That is the reason that young man isn't here today. He is only one of the reasons your here. The other is Gibbs disappearance. Thats the reason its an NCIS case we have identified a couple of other victims as military personal and at least two of the perpetrators. The only problem we have is they are being protected by some very powerful people and we can't move against them. Now do you see why we need your special touch? We want all the players and what happens to this garbage thats hurt one of our own is up to you. I just want the names and evidence to ruin these men.  
The last time Gibbs was seen he was headed to the hospital to check on McGee thats when he vanished. We think that maybe the same men that did that to McGee might have taken Gibbs to stop the investigation. They maybe planning on doing the same thing to him as they did to McGee. We need to find him and fast. I have the names of the perps. In my office that we have identified. We need your help Mike. Will you help us?” Leon asked.  
“Now why in the hell wouldn't I help you. Not only is my Probie missing but after what they did to that poor kid you bet I will help. I liked McGee he was a good agent.” Mike explained. “What I don't understand is why is my Probie so concerned about this kid? I mean yes he is a good agent and all and a nice kid, but is there something you all are not telling me? If I am going to do this I want to know everything. I would usually do something like this alone but if you don't want these men dead right away then you better send someone with me to make sure that doesn't happen. If your going to send someone with me it better be this young lady here.” Mike said pointing at Ziva. “ I will need her special talents and after she is done all she has to do is walk away. I'll do the rest.” Mike finished. Waiting for Leons answer and Ziva's.   
“ I will help you Mr. Franks. As you said my unique talents will come in handy and I would like to take a little payback on the animals that did this to McGee.” Ziva was only to glad to help. For once she would get to hurt those that hurt the ones she loved and cared about. As for letting this animal be taken care of, she was only to glad to do it herself. She planned on making sure this bastard would suffer for what he and the other did to her Tim.  
“Since you will be helping Mr .Franks I am going to need your badge and sidearm. Thank you for volunteering. One more thing agent David I need you to do?”  
Leon said.  
“What is that Director Vance?”   
“I need you to hit me.”  
“What....”  
“Please just do it.”  
“Yes sir!” So Ziva punched him right in the eye.   
“Agent David you are hereby suspended for striking a superior.” Vance yelled making sure that he was heard through out the building as much as possible.   
“When this mission is completed you will be cleared of the charges and reinstated. From this point on what you and Mr. Franks do is completely up to you both. Do no contact this office or anyone here for any reason. Do you understand?” Leon said quietly.  
“Yes Director I do. Thank you for this opportunity.” Ziva said with a smile.  
“Now back to work all of you?” “ You two follow me to my office we will finish this briefing there without anyone listening or interruptions.  
They all returned to work. Ziva and Mike followed Leon to his office. Once inside Leon turned off all listening and recording devices. Locked the door and directed them to take a seat.   
“Mike you know what happened to McGee. What you don't know is why Gibbs is so concerned about him. Gibbs and McGee are lovers They have been ever since McGee was raped and dumped.” Leon said quietly.  
Mike just sat there stunned and speechless for a moment. “ What your telling me is the my Probie/Gibbs is a faggot?” Mike practically yelled.  
Leon sighed, “ No Mike that isn't what I am telling you. What I am telling you is that Gibbs and McGee love each other. Neither one of them has ever been with another man until now. Just because they fell in love doesn't mean they are gay. It just means that McGee finally melted Gibbs heart and McGee finally let someone in that wouldn't hurt him. In matters of the heart, when it comes to love we don't get to choose who we fall in love with Mike.”   
“Are you okay with this Leon?” Mike asked not sure if he was or not. He thought he knew Gibbs really well but he guessed that boy of his still had some surprises left.  
“I'm fine with it and so is his team. Since they have been together Gibbs has been the happiest I have ever seen him. They are just two lonely people who found comfort in each other, someone to love and be loved by, someone to share the rest of their lives with. As for the fact they are both men well that just means they have something special to offer each other. Are you going to be alright with this Mike?”   
“Well when you put it that way as long as they both are happy who am I to judge or stand in their way.”   
“Good now that thats settled. I have a little going away present for the two of you.” Leon said reaching under his desk and pulling out a black satchel. Inside is everything you need if there is something else you want or need use the phone inside to contact me and me alone. Its untraceable. I want you to update me daily and if you need help just let me know.”   
“Director I thought we weren't supposed to contact you or anyone else at NCIS.” Ziva asked with a puzzled look on her face.  
“That was for everyone else's benefit. Now when your finished your mission destroy everything I don't want any thing being traced back to you all. I don't care how you destroy it just do it and make sure no little tidbits left. Do I make myself clear.” Leon growled.  
They both nodded. Mike set the bag down and opened it to see what was inside and was shocked at the assortment of weapons and other things that were inside. Including some very special things he knew Ziva would need including a set of exact replicas of her throwing knives.   
Mike looked up at Leon and whistled. “You weren't kidding about what you said earlier. I think we have everything we need right here.”   
Grinning Ziva nodded her acknowledgment as well. Silently picking up the bag she headed towards the door.   
“Good luck you two and I hope you enjoy your trip to the mountains.” Leon said as he stood and walked to the door unlocking it.   
“Thank you Director. It means a lot to me to be able to do this for McGee and Gibbs. I don't know how to thank you.” Ziva said smiling as she whispered her parting words in Leon's ear. Leon just smiled as he watched them leave.   
Mike and Ziva left without a word ignoring the looks they received from Ziva's coworkers. They took with them the names of the perpetrator's that they had been able to identify so far. It wouldn't be long before they had the rest of them either. They took with them the hopes and prayers that they would find Gibbs alive and unharmed. Their wasn't much they could do for Tim now that he was gone. All that was left was revenge for their fallen comrade, friend and lover. Their was still a chance to save Gibbs all they had to do was find him in time. Little did they know that he was in good hands.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17.

Gibbs didn't know how long he had been in here when he finally awoke. He knew that Tim's funeral would be soon if he hadn't already missed it. Gibbs hurt all over inside and out. He loved Tim more than his own life. He would never forgive himself if he missed Tims funeral. His heart and soul were shattered. The emptiness inside hurt more than it ever had. Gibbs disturbed the man that was sleeping next to him.   
Waking up Justin looked into Gibbs eyes and say the despair that lay within him.   
Before Gibbs could say anything, Justin reached up and caressed his cheek.   
“Who are you? Where am I?” Gibbs asked his voice cracking as he tried to reign in his emotions.  
“ Your at Betheny hospital and your in the psych. Ward. My name is Justin Willard. I am a nurse here. As to why your here is because when you got to your lovers room and found that he had died, you collapsed and threatened to end your own life. The doctors thought it best not to take any chances.”   
“How long have I been in here?”   
“Three days. When they sedated you it must have had an effect on your system because you have been out cold since then. We couldn't wake you. So we let you sleep. Are you feeling better now sir.” Justin asked concern in his voice.   
“Where are my friends? Do they know Tim is dead?”   
“Sir no one was with you or showed up after you did. As for your friends I have no clue as to whom they are or how to get ahold of them.”  
“You know my name so please tell me yours?” Justin asked.  
“Jethroe. Gibbs. Leroy Jethroe Gibbs.”   
“Leroy do you have any family I can contact to let them know where you are?”  
“Please call me Jethroe. No there isn't. My fathers still alive but he doesn't know about me and Tim. It would be better that it comes from me and I won't tell him in a place like this.”   
“Would you like to tell me more about your Timothy? When you were sleeping you talked to and about him. I got the impression that he was a very special man.”   
“He was. He had strength that didn't show. He had a beauty about him that was amazing. When he loved someone it was all. He didn't love people half way. He held nothing back and he judged no one. He loved me for me and who I am. I loved his soul, his heart, his mind, and his body. Never have I meant a more kind, caring, loving, man in my life. He didn't care that we were both straight and that I have three ex-wives. He loved me unconditionally and I loved him. He would have given his life for a friend, lover, or stranger. Yet I feel like I wasn't good enough for him. He was abused and raped. He was brutalized, hated by his own father for a rape that was committed against him when he was sixteen. Now just a few short months ago the same thing happened. Only this time the bastards taped it and put it out on the net for his friends and family and the whole world to see his humiliation, his rape, the taking of his manhood. These bastards did their best to destroy him and now they have. After seeing what was done to him plastered over the internet he decided to kill himself. Thats why he was here. He slipped into a coma and died. I wasn't able to protect the man I loved. Hell I was barely able to tell him how much I loved him and wanted and needed him in my life. He filled an emptiness inside of me that has been there since my first wife and child were murdered.   
I didn't care that Tim was a man. Hell he was more of a man than me in a lot of ways. I just knew that I loved him with all my heart and soul. Now he's gone and I will never get to hold him in my arms again or kiss him or make love to him for the first time. I have lost everything because of those bastards.” Gibbs said tears rolling down his cheeks.  
Justin gently brushed the tears away. “I lost my brother and lover to suicide. My lover was raped just like your Tim and he couldn't handle it. One day while I was at work he got naked, slipped into the bathtub and slit his jugular vein. That same day my brother found out he had AIDS and he stepped in front of a bus. They were my world. Now I have that same emptiness inside that you have Jethroe.” Tears falling from Justins eyes as he remembered their faces and smiles.

They sat there for awhile just being with each other. No words were spoken just simple touches exchanged. Justin leaned forward and gently kissed Jethroe. No words were spoken but the light began to shine in both men's eyes.   
“Jethroe I need to tend to my rounds, will you be okay till I get back?”   
“ I think so. I will probably just sleep for a bit longer.” Jethroe said closing his eyes and falling into a gently restful sleep.   
Justin kissed him one last time and left to do his rounds.   
Gibbs dreams were filled with Tim and Justin. Gibbs knew that if Tim had ever meant the gentle man he would have fallen for him, just like Gibbs had fallen for Tim.   
Gibbs had never really seen himself with Tim. He knew that like all his relationships before this one would have ended badly for him. He knew that eventually Tim would have left him just like all his ex-wives had and that he couldn't and wouldn't blame the young man for leaving. He still didn't understand what Tim saw in him. Or why he would even want Gibbs. Hell he was twice the kids age. Yet he knew that deep down Tim loved him more than life. He wished with all his heart Tim could have meant Justin. He knew that his Tim would have loved him. Gibbs heart went out to the younger man. Losing the two men in his life that meant so much to him on the same day and in the same way. How horrible that must be? Justin was in a lot of pain even though he hid it well. He had seen it in the younger mans eyes.   
Gibbs sleep was restless and yet gentle. He never woke up and yet was not plagued by nightmares.   
“It's alright Jethroe. It's going to be alright. I'm here now.”   
“ I know your here Tim. I just wish.....” Gibbs didn't finish as he woke up to find Justin looking into his eyes.   
“You were dreaming. It sounded like it was a really good dream and that you were back with Tim. Were you?”  
“Actually yes and no. I was there with him but only to say goodbye so that the two of you could be together and have a wonderful life.”   
“Jethroe Tim loved you not me. Why he never even meant me?”  
“I know Justin, but in my dream you two did meet, fall in love, and you two became lovers.”  
“Where were you?”  
“I gave Tim up freely, even though it broke my heart and tortured my soul.”  
“Why would you give up the man you love?”  
“Because I knew that I couldn't make him happy. That no matter how much I loved him he would leave me. This way I still got to love him and you. I wouldn't have to decide on either one of you.”  
“Why don't you think you could have made Tim happy? I just don't understand.”  
“Because none of my relationships last. No matter how hard I try they still wind up leaving me.”  
“ Didn't you tell me earlier, that Tim filled that emptiness inside you?”  
“Yes.”  
“Then what gives you the right to tell him he can't have the man he loves. Did you stop to think that maybe that filling the hole inside you, you might have just filled the emptiness inside of him. When that happens you don't ask why you just go with it. He loved you with everything, his heart, his soul, his body, his mind, he left nothing for himself. Don't you think its selfish of you to deny him the chance for happiness with the one man that fills his soul, his heart with love, don't you?”  
“Yes your right I was being selfish. I didn't think about him only about me. I chose to look at the negatives and not the positives. I just hope he, and you can forgive me?”  
“Jethroe on my part there is nothing to forgive. I am flattered that you think so highly of me that you would want to give Tim up so that he might choose to be with me. But I think that would be a choice that Tim would have to make on his own. Since he can't then why even think about it”  
“Your right Justin. I think I will drop the subject now. How about you?”   
“Sounds like a good idea to me.” 

The two men continued to talk. Finally Gibbs fell asleep with out realizing it. Justin kissed Jethroe goodnight and turned out the light.   
Laying his head on Jethroes chest he listened to the older man's heartbeat. “Leroy Jethroe Gibbs you are one very special man. Tim was lucky to have had you. You were lucky to have such a wonderful man. I only hope that I can be as lucky as the two of you were and find someone who is that special to me and loves me the way you two loved each other. Maybe someday. Goodnight Jethroe. If you weren't grieving over your loss I would fall in love with you myself. Thank you for giving me back my heart Jethroe and you as well Tim, where ever you may be. Count yourself lucky to have had this special man in your life. I know I do.” He fell asleep laying on Gibbs chest. Little did Justin know that Gibbs had heard every word he said.   
“I am truly lucky to have known you Timothy McGee and even more lucky to have had the opportunity to love a man such as you. I hope that where ever you are you have finally found true peace, love, and happiness that you so richly deserve. You don't know how many people your kindness has touched. Your NCIS family loves you with all their hearts. As I loved you. You are my world, my heart, my soul. Thank you for giving me the most precious gift of all, your love. I will forever love you and carry you in my heart. Thank you for loving me. I don't say this often but I hope and pray that your with Shannon and Kelly and you all three look down on me and let your combined love fill the emptiness inside me. Never has a man been so richly blessed as me to have three amazing people love him like you all have. Thank you and with all my heart I love you all. I know now that God does truly work and love in mysterious ways.”


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18   
The Hunt Begins

 

Mike and Ziva began their hunt. Their first person on their list was the deputy.  
They waited till night then followed him discretely to the place where they suspected they had assaulted Tim.   
They gave him time until they heard a scream split the night. Rushing in guns drawn. They found the deputy naked and his cock buried to the hilt in another man that was tied up and naked. He showed signs of abuse and torture and the rape was evident.  
The man was spread eagle from the floor to the roof. So that his attackers had easy acess to his body.   
“Who the hell are you?” The deputy demanded reaching for his gun.  
“Don't move!” Mike yelled stopping the man in mid reach.  
Seeing the gun in Mikes hand and the look in his eyes made him think twice about what it was he was planning on doing.   
“Tie this bastard up Ziva.” Mike said.   
Ziva took the rope they had brought with them. Shoving the deputy into a chair, she tied him up.   
“Do you know who I am?”   
“We know who you are. Your the animal that is destroying peoples lives and you destroyed our friends now payback is a bitch and we are going to get out of you what we want.” Ziva spat. “ Your the worst kind of animal. A rapist not of women but of men. Destroying their lives.”  
“I'm a county deputy. When I get out of this I'm going to hunt you down and kill you both.” He spat.  
“ Mike walked over, looking him in the eye, said “ Who said your going to live through this. After my little friend here gets done with you, your going to beg and pray we kill you. Because there aint going to be enough of your manhood or anything else left of you.”   
“Mike we have a problem?”   
“What is it Ziva?”  
“This man is a Marine and not just any Marine. We've been looking for this Captain here for being AWOL. I have to notify the Director and get him some help”   
“Fine you do make the call. I'll get him down while you do?”   
“No Mike we can't if someone comes while he is still here they will know someone is onto them and we can't blow this operation. He has to stay tied up.”   
Ziva left Mike alone with the captain and the deputy. Walking outside and away from the shed she pulled out her phone and called the Director.  
“Vance here.” 

“ Director we have a problem.”   
“ What is it?”  
“We found the Captain that we've been looking for the one that was AWOL. He is their latest victim. The Bastard we were following was raping him when we broke in and surprised him.? The Captain is fine for now at least as fine as he can be with what he has been through.”   
“Give me the location and I will get someone out there to help you. It will take them a couple of hours to get there. Will you be okay till they get there? Make sure that your gone and there is no evidence left behind that the Captain has been rescued.”  
“We have another location to take this bastard to. Just make sure when the they get here they bring clothes with them for the Captain. I will leave one of your little gifts to make sure there is nothing left after the Captain is safe and everyone is gone.” Ziva said hanging up making sure the call couldn't be traces.

Vance immediately called Tony, Paul,and Jeff to fetch the Captain. He knew that the Captain would most certainly need the special services of the other two men. He made sure that DiNozzo knew what he was supposed to do. Hanging up he hoped that Franks and Ziva didn't run into any more trouble.

Ziva cam back in and whispered the plan to Mike. Earlier they had found a deep cave they could use if they had to and now they did. They agreed that Mike would take the deputy and the car to the cave while Ziva stayed behind to make sure no one came to hurt the Captain further and to await the rescue party.   
They hauled the deputy out to the truck still bound in the chair. When he started to scream and yell Mike stuffed his soiled underwear in his mouth quickly silencing him.   
Mike gave Ziva a hug. “ You take good care of yourself and that Marine in their. For Tim and Gibb's sakes Ziva.”   
“I will Mike just remember to leave some of him for me.” Ziva said glaring at their captive over Mikes shoulder.   
“ Oh Ziva you can bet I',m not going to spoil your fun. I am going to enjoy watching what you do to this bastard.” Mike said laughing.   
Ziva watched until the truck's taillights vanished from sight. Searching the area and setting up some traps to secure the area in case someone came snooping.  
Heading back into the shed she found she could hide and watch. The captain was awake when she entered, his eyes wild, and struggling until he saw it was a woman and a beautiful one at that.   
“Stop struggling captain. Your going to hurt yourself.” Ziva said calmly taking in the handsome mans naked body.   
“Help me please. Please get me out of here before he comes back.” The captain croaked.   
“He isn't going to come back. My friend is taking him far away so no one can hear his screams. I can't let you down just yet in case one of his friends comes by for some fun with you. I am sorry and I don't have anything to cover you with. When my friends get here we are getting you out of here and to a hospital.”   
Captain Finn hung his head in shame. Here he was a big bad Marine and now he is trussed up, naked, he had been raped and he is here in front of this beautiful woman. How could this have happened to him. He asked himself.   
“Who are you anyway and why are you doing this and helping me?” Finn asked.  
“My name is Ziva David and my partner is Mike Franks. I am a former Massade agent and he is a former NCIS agent. I am part of NCIS now. We are doing this because these animals cost one of our friends his life and another is missing. We think they have him somewhere else and he is going through the same treatment you have been through. We are not a rescue mission we are a search and destroy mission. We are going to hunt down and kill these bastards that have cost our friends so much.”   
Thinking to herself Ziva began admiring the Captain. “Finn is a good looking man. Strong, broad shoulders. Nice Chest, Firm and strong with just the right amount of hair covering it. His waist is narrow and his legs strong. His cock hung down over a nice set of large balls. He was an amazing looking man from the front. Moving behind him to admire the rest of the captains assets. Ziva noticed the strong back, the curve of his ass, covered in what appeared to be a nice soft downy of fur covering it. The deep cleft. Hell this man looked like you could bounce a quarter off his ass and get twenty four point ninety nine cents in change. Even in this state Ziva could see how strikingly handsome Finn is.”  
“Would you like to talk or have some food and water Captain Finn?”  
“Water would be nice. Please.”  
Ziva opened a bottle from the backpack she was carrying. Bringing it to his lips  
“Take it slow small sips. If you drink it to fast your only going to make yourself sick.” Ziva said.  
The captain did as he was instructed.  
“Thank you Ziva.”  
“Your welcome captain Finn.”  
“These guy must have really made you mad. I hope these animals get what they deserve.”   
“Oh they are going to and we are going to make sure they do.”  
“Tell me about your friends.”   
“Timothy McGee was the sweetest,kindest, most caring man I have ever meant in my life. He was funny, witty, and most of all he was honest to a fault. He wouldn't hurt a fly. All his life all he ever wanted was to love and be loved. He loved someone and until he got hurt they never know. Now he is gone. He would do anything for a friend or someone he loved. Even take a bullet which he did. He was the brother I never had. When he saw the video these bastards made of his rape and torture he couldn't take it so he took his life or tried to and now because of it he is gone.” Ziva said a tear falling down her cheek. 

“They made a video of this!”Finn screamed. “They taped what they did to me? My career is ruined and so is my life. If anyone sees that. My God!”   
“Calm down captain. My friend was a computer genius he hacked into their system and shut it down so no one but us can see the content.”   
“Thank you. My wife would die if she found out that this was done to me. She thinks I am gay as it is. This would just seal my coffin and I would never see my little girl again. Oh shit! What about my commanding officer will he have to be told?”   
“That I do not know captain but why wouldn't you want him to know?”  
“It's just that he is gay and I am afraid he will use this to try and get me to his bed. He has been after me for awhile and I won't sleep with him and I think that he will use this to blackmail me into it or he will tell my men about it making it sound like it was something I wanted done to me.”   
“I will that that never happens captain.”   
“Youre friend sounds like he was a good man.”   
“He was captain. I wish you could have meant him you would have liked him.”  
Just at that moment Ziva's phone beeped letting her know there was a message waiting on her. Reading it quickly she went to the door and just as she reached for it, it was opened. Ziva dropped to her knee and drew her weapon.   
“Ziva you okay in there its me Tony?”  
“Come on in Tony. We are ok.”  
Tony entered followed by Jeff and Paul, carrying clothes they hoped would fit the captain.   
“Lets get the Captain down and out of here so we can take care of this place.” Ziva noticed the three men admiring the Captains naked body and she didn't blame them he was handsome and well hung after all.   
Ziva noticed the captain blushing from all the attention. Tony noticed the captains incredibly thick cock as it began to rise from all the attention he was getting.   
They got him down and dressed. Ziva followed them out to the car and watched as they loaded him into the car.   
Tony came back. Looking into Ziva's eyes he swallowed hard, leaned down and gently kissed her. Breaking the kiss, “Come back to us Ziva. I couldn't stand it if we lost you to.”   
Tony walked back to the car, leaving Ziva standing there stunned. Turning quickly she went back inside to finish the job. Taking a grenade out of her knapsack she pulled the pin and ran. Knowing what would happen if the white phosphorus grenade explosion caught her. Running as fast as possible she was still thrown to the ground as the building exploded sending fire shooting into the sky. She got up and continued running. Knowing that nothing but sludge would be left of the building and no bodies would survive that all the evidence would be gone. 

Approaching the cave she heard the Deputy's screams and she smiled to herself knowing that Mike was having a good time.   
Slipping into the cave unnoticed by either man. She watched from the shadows watching Mike work. She admired the subtly with which Mike had started stripping the skin off the deputy's chest.   
“Tell me the names of the other men involved in this?”  
“You don't know who your dealing with. These men are rich and powerful. They will chew you up and spit you out!”   
“ We will see about that. When my little friend gets back she is going to really start working on you and she won't be as nice as I have been. If you think she is soft just because she's a woman think again. She will do things to you that I couldn't dream of doing to another man but she will. She is going to enjoy stripping the flesh off your bones and when she is done your going to wish she never started. I for one am going to enjoy watching her take you apart.”   
Just then Ziva walked into the light a grin spreading across her face at the sight of the terrified look on the Deputy's face.  
“It looks like you softened him up a bit for me. He he told you anything?”  
“No he hasn't but he will now that your here.” Mike smiled.  
Ziva went to the bag and pulled out a couple of items. One looked similar to a cheese grater, one looked like a wicked knife, the last one was a wicked looking thing that he had no idea of what it was used for.   
Walking over in front of the deputy, she saw an even more terrified look on his face, she knelt in front of him. Running the blade over the deputies penis he screamed.   
“Now now deputy I haven't even begun.” Ziva grinned at him.   
“Take the gag out Mike. I want him to be able to answer me.”   
Mike did as he was asked. Interested in what was fixing to happen.   
“Do you know what this is deputy?”  
“N..No...NO!”  
“Its a circumcision knife. What about this one?” Ziva asked picking up the cheese grater.  
“N...No.. I've never seen that.”   
“This is a common household cheese grater.”   
“What are you going to do with those.”  
“Well have you seen what these do to a mans'....” Ziva said not finishing her statement on purpose.  
“I...I...I'm already circumcised.”  
“Yes I see that but the question here is do you know what will happen to this, if I use this on an already circumcised penis.” Ziva asked taking the deputy's penis.   
“I don't know but I don't want to think about that. Please don't hurt me!”   
“ Is that what those men you raped asked of you! Please don't hurt me. Don't violate me please....!!!! What did you do instead. Your raped, tortured, and humiliated them. You destroyed their lives and you have the nerve to ask me to not hurt you. You who destroyed the life of someone I love very much like the brother I never had.” Ziva screamed. 

Taking and running the knife over the deputies organ. Drawing blood as she went. Making sure that he understood what she was going to do to him and then some.   
“Please don't. Please” He begged.   
“That is up to you! Now tell me who your are your accomplices?”   
“I can't you don't understand they will kill me themselves.”   
“What I am going to do to you is far worse than a bullet between the eyes.”  
“I can't. These men are rich and powerful they have ties into the government itself. They have senators and congressmen on their payrolls.”   
“That's good to know. Now give me the names?” Ziva said picking up the cheese grater and putting it against the deputies private member.  
“I can't.”  
Ziva pulled the cheese grater across the delicate member ripping the skin off in chunks. The deputy screamed in agony.   
“Now you know a little of how those men and my friend felt when you were raping them. Now the names or do I continue?”  
The deputy's tears fell like rain. His head hung and his shoulders slumped.  
“I will tell you.” the deputy conceeded.   
Ziva pulled out a small recording device and the deputy began to name names. When he was finished she pocketed the device.   
“Will you let me go now?”   
“Oh I am going to let you go.” Ziva said rising and motioning Mike to follow her outside.   
Mike had already moved their equipment outside and into their hidden vehicle all that was left was the clean up.   
“Ziva that was shear beauty. I would never have thought to do that.”  
“That Mike is why we are so different. You wouldn't have soiled your hands with that animal like I did so you wouldn't get the information but as you saw I am very good at what I do.” Ziva said smiling.   
“Now what do we kill him or let him go.” Mike asked.  
“ Oh we are letting him go. Letting him go straight to hell.” Ziva said as she pulled the pin on the white phosphorus grenade and chucked it into the cave.   
Running they hit the car and were on their way before the cave collapsed in on itself and the night sky was once again lit up.   
Neither one looked back as they headed for their next target. It took them four days to complete their mission and not only did they gather evidence to expose these men but they also took them out of the game permanently. 

Satisfied with their accomplishments they headed back to NCIS to report to Vance.   
Vance was more than happy to see them so was Tony and the rest of the gang. 

“Have you found Gibbs yet?” Ziva questioned.  
“No we haven't been able t......”  
Just as Tony was about to finish. His mouth fell open as the elevator doors opened and out stepped Gibbs. Looking good but haunted.   
They all hugged him and gave their condolence's to him.   
“Did you all find out who did this to McGee?” Gibbs asked quietly.  
“Yes we did Gibbs and its been taken care of with the help here of Mike.” Ziva said.   
“Thank you Mike.” Gibbs said not even a small smile crossed his lips.   
“Your welcome Probie. That boy of yours was something special not only to this team but to you as well. What they did to him and you should and could never let go unpunished and it wasn't.” Mike said his eyes filling with tears at the pain he saw in Gibbs eyes.   
“He will be sorely missed Mike and thank you for your help.” Gibbs said. 

They talked for awhile longer when suddenly Gibbs asked, “ Has anyone notified his family or made the arraignments for his memorial”   
“No we haven't been able to get ahold of his family. I think they are out of the country. The memorial service we held off on until we found you.” Tony said.   
“What do you mean when you found me?” Gibbs asked anger in his voice.  
“We didn't know where you were Gibbs.” Ziva volunteered.  
“ Hell I was in the physc ward at the hospital. I had left my gun at Vance's and my wallet and they didn't know who the hell I was. When I saw McGee's body covered with the sheet I lost it completely and I might have threatened to commit suicide. So they put me in there.” Gibbs explained.   
“That explains a lot then.” Vance said from above them.   
“Is that why none of you came to visit me?”   
“Yea we didn't know where you were.”  
“Didn't you think to look at the hospital?”  
“Yes we did but had no record of anyone matching your description being admitted.” Vance interjected.  
“Guess thats one mystery solved huh... Probie.” Mike said laughing.  
That got them all laughing.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

A New Day and A New Heartache.

Gibbs had been out of the hospital for a week now. All the commotion that Ziva and Mike had put into motion had finally died down. Yet the Memorial Service had yet to be planned and executed.   
The day had finally come that the whole of NCIS had been dreading. Tim's memorial service. This was going to be the hardest day of Gibbs life. He had loved Tim with all his heart and soul and yet he was never able to get close enough to touch him.   
His heart broke at the thought of having to say goodbye to him one last time. 

Jethroe sat on his bed his eyes red from crying, his heart broken, and his soul shattered. He didn't have anything left to live for. He knew that when this was over and he said goodbye, when he was finally alone he would end his pain and suffering once and for all. He just wanted to be with those he loved so much and they were all gone. Beyond his reach and beyond his love. He couldn't go on without Tim. He never got to tell him how much he loved him, respected him, wanted,or needed him. Now he would never get to. At least the people he loved the most would know. His children would know. He had already made up his mind to tell everyone that he loved Tim and that if he had of lived he would have married him. He wanted everyone to know just how much Tim meant to him. No one in his life had ever touched him like Tim had. No one had made him feel wanted, needed, or cared for or about like Tim did. He missed him so much and he hurt so much it was all he could do to keep from ending it now. Even when he lost Shannon and Kelly he didn't hurt this much. He never felt pain like this.   
He had to be strong for the team and the others that counted on him.   
Gibbs reached up and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Dam I can't keep from crying. Damit McGee see what you have gone and done to me. Made me a blithering idiot. I miss you so much Tim. I just wish I had one last chance to show you how much you mean to me. How much I love you. You truly were the best thing to happen to me since Shannon and Kelly. I know that they will keep you safe and that they will love you like I do. You were always something special McGee.”   
Just then the door opened and Ducky stuck his head in. “Jethroe its time.”   
“Thank you Ducky.” Gibbs said noticing the red rimmed eyes of his friend. Getting up he straightened his back and moved stiffly to the door.   
They walked downstairs only to be meant by the rest of the team.   
“Just never forget that Tim loved you with all his heart and soul Gibbs.” Ziva whispered as she hugged him. Tears filling her eyes.  
No one could blame Gibbs for not being strong on this the hardest day of his life. The day he had to say goodbye to the only man he had ever loved. The man that changed his life and allowed him to open his heart once again. The man that no matter what he said or did loved him unconditionally. The lump in Jethroe's throat threatened to cut off his air supply as he stared at the assembled faces around him. Tears fell from all of their eyes. He just wished Tim was here to see how much they all loved him and needed him. Even Tony couldn't keep the tears from flowing.   
Hugging the younger man close Gibbs whispered in his ear, “He knew you loved him Tony. He loved you. I know because he told me so. You were one of the first people that made him feel apart of something. You made him feel like he was part of this team and he loved you for it. Despite the jokes you played on him. Never forget him. He is and will always be a part of you and this team. Never forget he loved you like the brother you always have been. We will all miss him Tony.”   
“Thank you Gibbs. I know he loved you so much. Please stay with us. I know he would want you to continue in spite of how much you hurt right now.”   
“How did you know what I was thinking Tony?” Gibbs whispered.  
“Because we all are thinking that same thing. We all miss him so much. Nothing can change the love we have for him or you. Just know we are all here for you. Don't give up on love because it seems there is a certain young orderly whose life you touched while in the psch.ward. He called and asked if he could be there today and I said yes. I thought you could use the support.”   
“Thank you Tony.”   
Moving on to Abby. She hugged him, her eyes full of tears.   
“Gibbs I am so sorry. I was so mean to Timmy and yet he always forgave me. Can you?” Abby asked.  
“Abby there is nothing to forgive. We both love you. You hurt him but he loved you that's why he could forgive you and why I can as well. His heart was kind, caring and gentle. Don't tarnish his memory of dwelling on the past just remember he loved you and always will. Like I do.” Gibbs said softly.   
Turning to Palmer, whose eyes were also filled with tears. Taking the young man into his arms and hugging him close he whispered, “ Jimmy never forget that Tim loved and cared about you. He felt like you were the younger brother he never had. He would have done anything for you. He loved you that much. He wanted me to tell you that he would have been honored to be your best man and to stand with you at your wedding. Never forget him and always love and cherish his memory.”   
Letting the younger man go Gibbs turned to Ducky and held him close. For a moment neither man said anything.   
“Jethroe he loved you so much. No matter what he would have wanted you to go on without him. Don't tarnish his memory or his love for you by taking your own life. Thats not what Timothy would have wanted. His world was you, no one could or would ever replace you in his heart. Don't let someone else replace him.” Ducky said as Gibbs body was wracked with uncontrollable sobs. His hear breaking even more.   
They stood there holding each other for a long time. Finally Gibbs spoke, “ I just don't know what I will do without him Duck. He was my life, my heart and soul. When he died he took it all. How do I go on without him?”   
“Jethroe I don't know. What I do know is that Tim would want you to go on. Don't let his sacrifice be for nothing.”  
“I won't I promise. Now lets go before they start without us.” Gibbs said breaking the embrace.   
Turning, holding his chin up and his mask back in place he lead the way out the door.   
They rode in silence to the service each one lost in thought.

 

When they got their they were shown to their seats in front of a large photograph of Tim. Several people talked and said a lot of nice things about Tim. When it came time for Gibbs to speak the room fell silent.   
Gibbs began, “ We are all here today to honor one of the bravest, kindest, most caring men I have had the pleasure to serve with. Timothy McGee. He was our friend, our companion, our brother, our lover, our guide, our help. But more than anything he was the best dam agent I have had the pleasure and honor of working with. Those of you who know me, know me as a hard hearted bastard. I will say this now I am. At least I was until I had the pleasure and honor of meeting Tim. Without my knowing it or him understanding what he was doing he opened my heart. He showed me what it was and is to love. He gave me his love unconditionally and without expecting anything in return. He broke the walls I had built around my heart when I lost my family. His kindness and caring opened my soul and he gave me a chance to love again. Many of you here would frown on the fact that two men could love each other let alone be faithful to each other. I will tell you now that neither one of us would ever be unfaithful to the other. Love doesn't care about gender, the color of your skin, the way you look. Love only cares about helping you to love another human being. Love is the greatest gift of all. Tim gave me that gift and he gave it to many others just by being himself. Never judging, never accusing, but just being open and willing to share himself with other. One fine example is these two men here.” Gibbs said pointing to Jeff and Paul. “ These two men were brought together because of Tim. These two as well.” Gibbs said pointing to Tony and Ziva. “Even though they won't admit it to others they love each other because of Tim. He has touched so many lives that I can't count them. His smile, his laugh, his love will be sorely missed. The one thing I never got to tell Tim was how proud I am of him and the rest of my team. Now I will never get to tell him that I am proud of him and the wonderful man he became. How proud of the agent he became. The lover he was and the selfless man he will always be. Timothy McGee you will always be in our hearts, our souls, and our mind. We love you so much Tim. If you were here right now I would get down on my knee's and ask you to marry me.” Gibbs said as the tears fell freely from his eyes.   
As Jethroe stepped down from the podium a small quiet voice spoke, “ Could I please say a few words.”   
“Please go right ahead. Our you a friend of Tims?” Gibbs asked.  
“ You could say that.” The small voice said. The man looked old and frail.   
The stranger made his way to the podium. His head and body covered in a cloak.  
“ I would first like to thank you all for coming and all the wonderful things you said about my friend Timothy McGee. I only have one question?”  
“What is that?” Gibbs asked sobering.  
“Did you mean what you just said Jethroe? That you would marry me if I were here?” 

Shock ran through the crowd as the stranger reveled himself.   
Ziva almost fainted and Abby did. Some of the other guests did as well. Everyone was surprised at the revelation.   
Gibbs stood there with his mouth open until finally he gathered his wits about him. Racing to the podium he gathered the stranger in his arms and whispered in to his ear, “You bet your sweet ass Timothy McGee.”   
“Good because I plan on holding you to that Jethroe.” Tim said wrapping his arms around his lovers waist and pulled him into a gentle kiss.   
The room exploded into applause and catcalls as the two men kissed passionately.   
They broke their embrace and Tim raised his hands for quiet. The crowd finally quieted.   
“I want to thank you all for coming today but as you can see my death has been greatly exaggerated. I was told I came out of my coma and slipped back into it. My body had been greatly damaged by my ordeal as well as my mind. It was a safety mechanism and then when I woke up I heard about this.”   
“I thought you were dead Tim. I went to your room and they were wheeling a body out of it and it was covered in a sheet and I just lost it. You mean that you have been in a coma all this time. Why wasn't I told?” Gibbs asked anger coloring his voice.  
“Gosh Boss we though you knew. What body and what room did you go to?” Tony asked.  
“I went to his ICU room. Wasn't that where he was supposed to be.” Gibbs asked.  
“ No Boss he was two floors down and when he slipped back into the coma we where told that he would never regain conscienceness. Tha'ts why we were having the service.” Ziva added.   
Turning to Tim, Gibbs said, “ Let's go home Tim. We have a lot to talk about and a lot of other things to do.” Smiling Gibbs led his lover out and home. Where they talked and made plans for a wedding while the cherry blossoms were in bloom next year. 

 

 

Please let me know if you liked or enjoyed this story. This is one of those stories that hit the writer hard because of things that happened in his life.   
Thank you dear readers for taking the time to read my stories as it is the greatest of pleasure to know others enjoy our work. 

Thank you   
Jerry Fuller   
Author.


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